We might be going to a Halloween party this year. If I go, I think I’ll be a vampire, you know, like an LHF vampire, only slightly more conspicuous, with…

Black outfit, including T-shirt with a headstone on it
Plastic fangs
IV bag with blood in it attached to pants [vampiric equivalent of a water bottle]
Button with a garlic bulb on it and a line through it [NO GARLIC]
Button with VAMPIRES DO IT IN COLD BLOOD
Coffin purse to carry things in
Sunglasses [or flip-down sunglasses attached to my glasses]
Something to protect myself from vampire killers

The good news is that all of this is easily procurable, except for the IV / blood bag.

I found a blood bag!

Also beautiful gravestone T-shirts with Massachusetts stone designs on them. Or I could design my own.