It’s Toy Fair time again, folks. Time for all 3 of you to listen to me hold forth on Mattel’s upcoming offerings.

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442328329/in/set-72157626041852600/

Just in case you didn’t realize it, Mattel’s line of Ken-related chocolate bars and candies make it perfectly clear: Ken is just another one of Barbie’s endless accessories. “Insert boyfriend here,” indeed. They’re all interchangeable.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442933386/in/set-72157626041852600/

Whoever sets up these Fashionista Kens out of the box has absolutely no flair for posing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442329761/in/set-72157626041852600/

PINK RINGLETS!!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442935622/in/set-72157626041852600/

Because of the slogan on the posterboard behind the woman, I am now picturing Frank, singing in a taffy-pullingly sweet manner, “Don’t dream it…be it!”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442937136/in/set-72157626041852600/

Tokidoki [?] Barbie looks very LHFy, doesn’t she, with her pink hair, glittery shoes, jokey belt buckle with fangs and gratuitous leopard print? I like the use of the Francie mold, since she always looks like she’s about to speak or pucker up. Her messily placed tattoos, however, I can live without. [“Do you have any tattoos, Janet?” Frank demands lasciviously. Janet giggles, flustered by his desirous gaze.] I wish her hair were the color of the Tina Tarantino Barbie, though [bismuth pink!!], and that she were on an articulated body. Dolls ain’t no good for me if they can’t move.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442663907/in/set-72157626041852600/

Boy, this Rock Hudson doll is so disappointing. [Not that I was looking forward to it.] He looks more like Action Man [?], combined with the blandness of a standard Ken, than the actual handsome guy Rock Hudson was.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442661469/in/set-72157626041852600/

I really like the outfit on this Elvis Presley tribute Barbie. However, I think she would be even sexier with her hair cut like that of the Elvis illustration behind her, one lock hanging down into her face. That silly bump on the top of her head does her no favors.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442663409/in/set-72157626041852600/

Big head! AAAAAAH, BIG HEAD! Quick, someone put it on a female action figure body!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mawphoto/5442660319/in/set-72157626041852600/

Now that the Barbie Basics have finally been articulated, I like them much better.  My favorite is the one on the far right, who looks especially severe.