In the most recent Dear Prudence, a 27-year-old guy writes that he has no trouble with his girlfriend's body hair…except for a scattering of hairs on her chest and particularly around each of her nipples. He is really bothered by these hairs on her chest, to the point of suggesting that she remove them. He envisions a future with her, but also foresees the death of all lust unless she gets rid of her chest hair. Prudie responds by recommending permanent removal in the form of electrolysis.

Let's get this straight…1) Chest hair on women is completely unacceptable. 2) A woman who does have chest hair and doesn't give a shit should get rid of it because her partner gives a huge, disproportionate shit.

As for 1), God forbid that women be anything less than completely hairless except for head hair because then they'd "look like men," and we can't have people transgressing cultural norms of femininity because then the world would explode.

As for 2), I reject the axiomatic assertion that, in a heterosexual partnership, if a man can't accept some aspect of a woman's appearance, the woman should change to suit his preferences. And we're not talking "Please brush your teeth before you kiss me" type of requests; we're talking inscrutable, inconsistent, irrational requests like "Your armpit hair and pubic hair and leg hair and arm hair are 100% A-okay, but lose those 12 nipple hairs of yours, or else this relationship is seriously doomed" sort of shit. That's ridiculous, trivial, nitpicky and insulting, once you think about it. Claiming that you love your girlfriend passionately except for her dozen chest hairs makes me wonder what secret complaints the chest hairs are standing in for.

My advice has everything to do with the boyfriend and nothing to do with the girlfriend. First, buddy, either put up and shut up, or find a partner who lacks nipple hairs and the ability to object to your controlling, nasty demands about her appearance.