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Mulch: the ultimate weapon against zombies

Mulch: the ultimate weapon against zombies published on No Comments on Mulch: the ultimate weapon against zombies

Photographic evidence that you can repel a zombie invasion by separating them from you with copious amounts of ordinary garden mulch. Presumably something in the mulch hastens their decomposition so that they literally fall to pieces in minutes, unable to attack you and feed upon your flesh.

I imagine an entire horror garden of such sinking statues. A great variation on the rising zombie would be a person at the base of a tree, trying desperately to extricate him/herself from invisible quicksand. You could see deep scoring lines in the trunk where he/she had dug in his/her fingers in a futile attempt to get free from the hungry ground. Another awesome variation, usable only in winter, would look like a person flattened against a window, only you’d put it at the bottom of your pond so the person would appear to be smothered under the ice in the winter. There could also be statues that look like they are trapped in the trunks of old, cavernous trees a la Merlin, statues that look like they have been run over with glacial boulders, even statues that look like they’ve been stabbed with fence posts! The possibilities are endless!

Someone needs to get this statue and then do a photoshoot in a cemetery.

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