You know how I was talking about the Old Spice centaur recently? Well, apparently, the Web site for the Double Impact shower gel shows the male model in hybrids with other animals and things [YouTube video here].

1. Man/slug. [Why are his pecs heaving like that?]

2. Man/cannon [aimed right at you, ready to fire balls].

3. Man/"mighty redwood tree."

4. Man/cobra.

5. Man/octopus.

6. Man/fishstick.

7. Man/tap-dancing cowboy.

8. Man/tank [gun pointed directly at you].

Eurgh. That video made me want to throw up. I love therianthropes, even if they are people combined with tentacular things or snakes, so I’m certainly not puking at the combination of humans with non-human animals. I’m puking at the crappy artistic values of the hybridization and the undiscriminating stupidity of the philosophical concept behind the commercial. Not only are all the non-human parts obviously static and image-doctored, but they are also completely inconsistent, including living things, non-living things, other humans, non-human animals, plants, food and weapons. Pick a class of objects and stick with it, people. Seriously, watching that video gives me a stomach-turning case of thematic whiplash.