Hey, kids! I’ve progressed up to chapter 5, so I have a significant commentary to write on the pages I have spanned since my last rant. However, I do not have time for full-length vituperation, so I will just make a single comment: E.L. James needs to find another way of describing things besides the "it’s all x, y and z" model. Here’s a random example on page 56, where Ana is observing her so-called "friend" Kate’s outfit:
"She’s all tiny camisole, tight jeans and high heels, her hair piled high with tendrils hanging softly down around her face, her usual stunning self."
I have no intrinsic problem with this phrase; in fact, I like to use it myself on occasion because it gives a sense of a person fascinated by the details and yet also overwhelmed by the overall effect of something. But I only use it on occasion. James, on the other hand, finds a phrase she likes [q.v. "fair point well made"], beats it till it dies, waits till it resurrects as a zombie, then beats it to death again. I repeatedly felt impelled to throw the book across the room, but then I realized I was on a bus, and none of the other passengers would appreciate being bombed with a bomb of a book.