I have about $926.00 in savings at the moment, which means that, after a long period of bemoaning financial pinchedness, I am now, as the vulgar expression puts it, Rolling In Dough. Naturally, with the Dough comes the temptation to Blow It.

I am admiring from afar a fullset Ringdoll Frankenstein 2013 on the DOA marketplace. He comes with all the bells, whistles, wheezers, and grommets shown on the official sales page, as well as jointed hands and the 2011 original issue Frankenstein head, which I like better than the pissier 2013 one. The design and sculpt of the doll hit all my cyborg and robot buttons. I’m especially enamored with the openable porthole for his heart and the translucent headcap, through which his brain can be seen. This is the sort of doll that, if I had, I would keep as is because I find the concept and execution beautiful.

I can see the conversation now:

“So…are you supposed to be all mopey and murderous?”

“I think you’re confusing me with Frankenstein’s monster.”

“So you’re *not* Frankenstein’s monster?”

“Do I *look* like Frankenstein’s monster?”

“Yes.”

“Scratch that. I’m *not* Frankenstein’s monster.”

“Oh right. You’re ‘Frankenstein.'”

“Hey! Don’t blame *me* for Ringdoll’s confusion between the creator and the monster.”

“Do you have a name? Or should we just call you ‘Frankenstein?'”

“It’s going to be a real pain to do air quotes every time you want to refer to me. Call me Jim.”

“‘Jim?!’ Whose idea was that?”

“The same person whose idea it was to call you after a city in Maryland, ‘Timonium.'”

“Quit it with the air quotes!”