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50 Farts #4: entry 4

50 Farts #4: entry 4 published on No Comments on 50 Farts #4: entry 4

P. 117: Christian has one of his inane flashbacks: “Mommy is happy. She is singing. / Singing about what love has to do with it. / And cooking. And singing. / My tummy gurgles. She is cooking bacon and waffles. / They smell so good. My tummy likes bacon and waffles. / They smell so good.” The slashes indicate line breaks. I’m sad to report that this is a typical flashback into young Christian’s point of view. He appears to consolidate many of James’ worst writing habits into the space of a short scene: telling and not showing, useless paragraph breaks, redundancy, stating the obvious, overkill, and redundancy [hah!]. James does not know how to differentiate characters’ voices, much less how to write a young child.


P. 124: Christian’s talking about his penis: “I want you to become well acquainted, on first-name terms, if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.” Nobody talks like this, especially not a rich 27-year-old college drop-out billionaire. It’s just hammy, redundant, and ridiculous. I am sure that there are people who act like their penises are their “most cherished” body parts, but I highly doubt these people would express those sentiments in the above terms. They’re probably telling people to suck it [literally].

As for the last sentence, again Christian illustrates that he has something like an anti-sense of humor. I think we’re supposed to take that line at face value — i.e., he really feels emotionally “attached to” his penis. Sorry, Christian — I’m just too hung up on the fact that the adjective you used to describe your interest in your penis also literally describes the physical state of every single other body part of yours. I hope you’re attached to your penis, Christian, ’cause it’s attached to you physiologically. Christian’s apparent inability to recognize that words have more than one meaning [ref. his earlier, unremarked description of his unhappiness as “gray”] makes him sound really obtuse. He has got to be one of the world’s dullest and most literal people.


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