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That therianthropic Orangina commercial

That therianthropic Orangina commercial published on 2 Comments on That therianthropic Orangina commercial

Conveniently enough for my therianthrope kick, BoingBoing linked to this French Orangina commercial. In case you are ignorant of this awesome drink, Orangina is like sweetened, watered, fizzy orange juice with some pulp, and it is so very good. 

The commercial starts with a bipedal humanoid deer woman, who is masturbating rocking in solitary ecstasy on a swing in a bucolic forest. Then a bipedal humanoid bear man steals her Orangina.

The seductive flavor of the contested drink apparently causes them to go against the natural order and fall in love. The entire forest bursts into a chorus line of predator/prey couples, dancing flowers and Orangina bottles blowing their wads and showering particpants. With many shots intercut between furry cleavage and lissome bottle necks, this commercial plays on the fact that the French term for “pulpy,” pulpeuse, can also be a slang term for “curvaceous.” 

Mostly this commercial is overflowing with pulpy goodness. It gets points for including an entire menagerie of bipedal humanoid therianthropes based on a variety of animals, including deer, bears, zebras, pandas, giraffes, rabbits and geckos…although the octopi were quite incongruous with all the terrestrial fauna. I also liked its attention to certain detail, like twitching ears and tails. Finally, I can’t deny the appeal of its rampantly suggestive innuendo: the SWING [a symbol for women’s sexual pleasure], the FALLING BACK INTO FLOWERS, the DANCING, the RIPPING THE WOMAN’S CLOTHES OFF AS SHE SPINS, the SITTING ON WAD-SHOOTING BOTTLES, the LAP DANCES, the ASS-SLAPPING, the SHOWERING ONESELF WITH ORANGINA and the BASICALLY SQUIRTING ORANGINA OUT OF ONE’S TITS. [Side note: It was the tentacular humanoid that was squirting Orangina from its mammaries. Brain…breaking… Unable to…countenance… illogical…biological implausibility…of two phyla…hybridizing…] Watching this commercial is like watching the part in Disney’s animated Fantasia where all the therianthropes are dancing around to Beethoven’s Pastoral, only this is what they would behave like if they were all in their sexual prime.

Two things seriously, deeply disturb me about this commercial, however. One is the ursine humanoid. He walks swiftly and nimbly on his knuckles, shoulders jerking up and down, like a large primate. But bears are basically oversized dogs with lots of extra fat, fur and muscle, and they move like dogs, you know, trotting, without visible shoulder jerks and with more of a general roll and twist in their gait. The ursine humanoid was not loping like a bear! Second, none of the hooved humanoids had digitigrade legs. Third, and most disturbingly of all, animals were dancing with each other that should have been either eating each other or running away from each other. I suppose the point of the commercial was to show that the pulpy, sexy goodness of Orangina was so strong that it could overcome even predator/prey instincts, but the sight of a deer humanoid tangoing with a bear humanoid just strikes me as seriously wrong. And yet I can handle everything else about this commercial… Go figure….


See, I haven’t watched this yet, but based on your description, they’re trying to use the way sex sells and then camoflague it by taking fully human bodies out of it. Just curious, is this commercial French? If so, that ruins my theory.

Also, I suspect because of the combo of humanoid animals and sex this one will become popular with furries (no, I know you’re not one, and wouldn’t care if you were).

Yes the commercial is French, but I still think that it’s trying to exploit the “sex sells” ploy by using humanoid bodies, rather than humans.

If you look at the comments on YouTube, you’ll see that the commercial has attracted so much reflexive anti-furry pissing that it appears more popular with people who don’t like furries, rather than the furries themselves. The people who do like this commercial are just hiding in their closets under their bearskin rugs…or at least they aren’t out at YouTube.

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