Conveniently enough for my therianthrope kick, BoingBoing linked to this French Orangina commercial. In case you are ignorant of this awesome drink, Orangina is like sweetened, watered, fizzy orange juice with some pulp, and it is so very good.
The commercial starts with a bipedal humanoid deer woman, who is
masturbating rocking in solitary ecstasy on a swing in a bucolic forest. Then a bipedal humanoid bear man steals her Orangina.
Mostly this commercial is overflowing with pulpy goodness. It gets points for including an entire menagerie of bipedal humanoid therianthropes based on a variety of animals, including deer, bears, zebras, pandas, giraffes, rabbits and geckos…although the octopi were quite incongruous with all the terrestrial fauna. I also liked its attention to certain detail, like twitching ears and tails. Finally, I can’t deny the appeal of its rampantly suggestive innuendo: the SWING [a symbol for women’s sexual pleasure], the FALLING BACK INTO FLOWERS, the DANCING, the RIPPING THE WOMAN’S CLOTHES OFF AS SHE SPINS, the SITTING ON WAD-SHOOTING BOTTLES, the LAP DANCES, the ASS-SLAPPING, the SHOWERING ONESELF WITH ORANGINA and the BASICALLY SQUIRTING ORANGINA OUT OF ONE’S TITS. [Side note: It was the tentacular humanoid that was squirting Orangina from its mammaries. Brain…breaking… Unable to…countenance… illogical…biological implausibility…of two phyla…hybridizing…] Watching this commercial is like watching the part in Disney’s animated Fantasia where all the therianthropes are dancing around to Beethoven’s Pastoral, only this is what they would behave like if they were all in their sexual prime.
Two things seriously, deeply disturb me about this commercial, however. One is the ursine humanoid. He walks swiftly and nimbly on his knuckles, shoulders jerking up and down, like a large primate. But bears are basically oversized dogs with lots of extra fat, fur and muscle, and they move like dogs, you know, trotting, without visible shoulder jerks and with more of a general roll and twist in their gait. The ursine humanoid was not loping like a bear! Second, none of the hooved humanoids had digitigrade legs. Third, and most disturbingly of all, animals were dancing with each other that should have been either eating each other or running away from each other. I suppose the point of the commercial was to show that the pulpy, sexy goodness of Orangina was so strong that it could overcome even predator/prey instincts, but the sight of a deer humanoid tangoing with a bear humanoid just strikes me as seriously wrong. And yet I can handle everything else about this commercial… Go figure….