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We’ve gotta piss, drink, smoke, fight, fart and flex…and think of something other than sex!

We’ve gotta piss, drink, smoke, fight, fart and flex…and think of something other than sex! published on No Comments on We’ve gotta piss, drink, smoke, fight, fart and flex…and think of something other than sex!

I forgot how hilarious the Foremen’s Hard Time to Be a Man was.

Now, this bar graph represents the thought processes of the average American male in 1957. We see, in descending order of importance, sex, sports, cars, and sex in sports cars.

But things have changed since the enlightenment, as illustrated by this 1993 bar graph showing that men now think about sex, sports, cars, and promoting the wellness of the planet and the humanness of all people by creating a caring and nurturing environment in which to have sex in sports cars.

P.S. How ’bout them Niners?

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1473341.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

The “bathroom argument,” part n in an ongoing series

The “bathroom argument,” part n in an ongoing series published on No Comments on The “bathroom argument,” part n in an ongoing series

The parents of Coy Mathis, a Coloradan first-grader [with magenta hair?! how awesome is that?], have filed a discrimination suit with the state’s Civil Rights Division because the school district will no longer let her use the girls’ bathroom.

Why? Because they are obsessed with Coy’s penis.

A letter that the Mathis family received in December states:

"….I’m certain you can appreciate that, as Coy grows older and his [sic] male [sic] genitals develop along with the rest of his [sic] body, at least some parents and students are likely to become uncomfortable with his [sic] continued use of the girls’ restroom."

So a girl can’t use the girls’ bathroom because some people might be bothered [heaven forfend!] by the fact that her body differs from that of the majority of girls’.

Oooh! Oooh! I can play this game. We need to make separate bathrooms for every category of person whose body might conceivably bother someone else.

Okay, so we’ll have to separate bathrooms based on race, fat, disability, age, sickness and shoe size, at the very least.

Is that school district serious? Are they honestly arguing that putative future squeamish prejudice trumps a person’s immediate need to perform a basic human function?

The "bathroom argument": it’s bullshit!

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1473057.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Timonium has arrived!

Timonium has arrived! published on No Comments on Timonium has arrived!

I’m thinking that he’s some sort of avian sprite, as the detailing on his fairy feet reminds me of feathers. I foresee lots of diagonals and subtle banding in his paint job, and I’m thinking of either a wild grey faux fur wig or feathers for hair!

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1472999.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

A small town in Maryland: my incoming Soom Auber

A small town in Maryland: my incoming Soom Auber published on No Comments on A small town in Maryland: my incoming Soom Auber

Despite his resemblance to a junior Jareth, my incoming Soom Auber [who is currently OUT FOR DELIVERY woooooo hoooooooo!!!!!], does not wish to be called Jareth Jr. He is probably afraid of Mega Jareth calling him "squirt." :p

Instead, he has decided that he should be called…

Wait for it…

Timonium.

Yes, folks, the brooding storm fairy takes a name that a) sounds like a combination of "Tim" and "ammonia" and b) refers to a small town in Maryland.

I’m sorry. Sources [i.e.., a certain annoying little fairy] have informed me that Timonium is the illustrious, noble moniker of Mark Antony’s summer palace at Alexandria. Besides sounding like a nickname + cleaning product, it also apparently conjures up associations with elemental metals [Tm = the element timonium? :p], as well as pandemonium.

Sure, whatever you say, Tim. :p

I can’t tell whether Timonium takes himself too seriously or whether I’m just razzing him.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1472624.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Amazing miniature animals!

Amazing miniature animals! published on No Comments on Amazing miniature animals!

Kerri Pajutee’s 1:12 and 1:6 scale miniature animal sculptures [largely of dogs and cats] are amazing. She sculpts base forms with polymer clay and then flocks them with artificial fiber attached with Aileen’s Tacky Glue. I can tell that she has such affection for the subjects she sculpts.

I bet her custom miniatures cost thousands of dollars. :'(

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1472297.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

The mystery of AG Minis

The mystery of AG Minis published on No Comments on The mystery of AG Minis

I am here to report that there is apparently very little information online about the AG Minis room box sets, previously mentioned in my Operation Rainbow Barf entry. The fan site American Girl Playthings, which covers a range of AG toys, has a page about AG Minis, detailing the names, contents, prices and appearances of various sets, but there’s no information about scale, issue date, variations or any of that sort of stuff that enthusiasts like to geek out over. The American Girl Wikia wiki has even less information and no pictures at all. Sure, there are some detailed photos on Flickr and Ebay, but there’s no central collection of minutiae and photos. It’s very disappointing. 🙁

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1472112.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

This weekend: Operation Rainbow Barf!

This weekend: Operation Rainbow Barf! published on No Comments on This weekend: Operation Rainbow Barf!

While I was on Craigslist last night, posting my DVDs for sale, I made the mistake of searching for "barbie" and then "doll" in the sale section. I came across an AG Minis Groovy Room room box, used, but in great condition and well-furnished. Seller’s picture is below.

Continue reading This weekend: Operation Rainbow Barf!

Vermont Craigslist???

Vermont Craigslist??? published on No Comments on Vermont Craigslist???

When I lived in the Boston metro area, I did all sorts of business on Craigslist, from buying dolls, to alerting people that we had put furniture out on the curb, to selling gift amusement park tickets for extra cash, to advertising a sublet on our apartment. The community always buzzed with activity.

I am now venturing onto the Burlington Craigslist with some Buffy DVDs to sell. Obviously the Burlington community does not buzz the way that the Boston one does, so I wonder if I will have any interest. I guess the proof will be in the pudding the absent DVDs.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1471573.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Book as luxury object

Book as luxury object published on No Comments on Book as luxury object

I got my Tartarus Press hardcover edition of The Doll Maker and Other Tales of the Uncanny [original review of The Doll Maker here] by Sarban today! There’s my poor little paperback on the left and my new Tartarus version [ordered at the middle of the month] on the right. Incidentally, it is the not the original 200-copy 1999 Tartarus reissue, but a 2002 reprint, without the limited edition afterword.

Continue reading Book as luxury object

Rape ad nauseam in Laini Taylor’s Lips Touch Three Times

Rape ad nauseam in Laini Taylor’s Lips Touch Three Times published on No Comments on Rape ad nauseam in Laini Taylor’s Lips Touch Three Times

I was going to write a long, learned essay about how much the short story Hatchling in Laini Taylor’s collection, Lips Touch Three Times, pissed me off, but fuck it. Let me get to the meat of the matter: Laini Taylor, your voluptuous prose cannot distract me from your moral vacuity.

Continue reading Rape ad nauseam in Laini Taylor’s Lips Touch Three Times

Sy Fy: exterminating all characters of color

Sy Fy: exterminating all characters of color published on No Comments on Sy Fy: exterminating all characters of color

Last year, I observed that Sy Fy hates women of color. I would like to extend this observation by saying that the network is clearly involved in an eliminationist campaign against all characters of color in its shows.

I say this because I recently watched the season 3 finale of Haven, who follows the adventures of Audrey Parker, whose reincarnations are somehow tied to the waxing and waning of the supernatural Troubles in Haven, Maine. The season follows Audrey, Nathan [love interest] and Duke [fifth wheel] as they track the serial killer du jour and learn more about Audrey’s past lives. Wheeee.

Season 3 blatantly demonstrates the show’s structural racism in its disposal of men of color. A black man, Tommy Bowen, appears early on as a detective from Boston with a personal interest in catching the Bolt Gun Killer [BGC — serial killer du jour]. He hangs around, making skeptical quips about the Troubles and generally not doing anything, until about halfway through the season. At that point, it is revealed that he is the BGC, or, more accurately, the shapeshifting BGC killed him several weeks before this discovery and has been pretending to be him for a while. So basically the showrunners went to all that trouble of developing a character of color, giving him a name, backstory, arc and significance…solely for the purpose of killing him off. Since the same thing happened to Evie Crocker in season 2 and since there are practically no other named, recurring, developed characters of color on the show [with one exception — see below], it’s very clear that the show runners hate people of color.

My worst fears about Sy Fy’s eliminationist program were confirmed in the season 3 finale of Haven. Another man of color, Agent Howard, reappears after an extended absence. Originally introduced as Audrey’s supervising agent, he is the person who originally sends her to Haven in the pilot. He is apparently orchestrating events behind the scenes with his mysterious magical powers, as we see him occasionally in the ensuing few seasons, but we know very little about him.

Anyway, in the finale, we finally learn [SPOILERS!!!!!] that he functions as the ageless guardian of the Barn, a magical recharging station into which Audrey is supposed to disappear every 27 years so that the Troubles may temporarily stop. Audrey, Nathan and Duke try to get explanations from him, but Agent Howard remains firm that Audrey has to go into the Barn to stop the Troubles; there’s no other way. Well, unless Audrey wants to kill the person she loves [Nathan], which would end the troubles forever.

Audrey doesn’t wish to do that, so she enters the Barn anyway to at least give Haven a 27-year respite from supernatural hell. Nathan, upset, reacts by shooting Howard [part of an incredibly stupid gunfight], bringing the total of significant secondaries who die during this episode to four. And the Black Guy Bites It, disappearing into shards of light along with the Barn. Audrey spends so much time trying to combat the Troubles, but she never notices the most deleterious one of all: the racist vortices of death that inevitably suck in all characters of color who come to Haven.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1470819.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Trail mix, take 2

Trail mix, take 2 published on No Comments on Trail mix, take 2

Got more trail mix today in different combinations of ingredients than before. No carob chips this time, as they really make the mix taste funny. 🙁

  • raisins x 1.96 lbs
  • peanuts x 2.18 lbs
  • cashews x 1.33 lbs
  • cranberries x 0.87 lb

I know that the cranberries will make the mix SOUR, but hopefully the saltiness of the peanuts and the sweetness of the raisins will offset this flavor.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1470694.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Oh Peter…

Oh Peter… published on No Comments on Oh Peter…

Why can’t I get you right? I scraped off all of Peter’s lumpy, indistinct eye paint this afternoon and redid his eyes yet again. I also styled his mohawk with diluted glue so that it stands in the appropriate position.

Peter is really hard to photograph. His dark skin and his black T-shirt just absorb light. I think I need to change his shirt.

Continue reading Oh Peter…

Doctor Z is done

Doctor Z is done published on No Comments on Doctor Z is done

The aforementioned colored pencil faceup stated smudging off on my fingers, so I recreated it with a base of purplish blue paint topped with blue and black for shadows and wrinkles. I made her wig out of a white mohair one that I made years ago, just trimmed down. I then tried to make her hair behave by mixing some diluted glue into it.
Continue reading Doctor Z is done

Some dolls for Isabel

Some dolls for Isabel published on No Comments on Some dolls for Isabel

At Toys R Us, where I got Megan her slightly improved body, I also got Isabel some dolls in the form of Mattel Winx action figures. They are articulated at the neck, elbows, thighs and knees, which is also where Megan’s new body is articulated. The Winx figures’ soft, rubbery skirts and hair are supposed to permit posing, but they don’t really. Their molded hair is way too heavy, making them pitch backwards. I plan to rip it off and replace it with fiber.

Continue reading Some dolls for Isabel

Megan: now with better articulation!

Megan: now with better articulation! published on No Comments on Megan: now with better articulation!

There were no Fashionista Barbies with matching skintones to be had at either K-Mart or Toys R Us, so a TRU Cheerleader Barbie in the appropriate color sacrificed her body so that Megan could have increased articulation.

Unfortunately, Megan’s new body has no wrist articulation, so I’ll have to scrounge her some better hands somewhere. I’m also thinking that I’ll replace her elbow joints with wires, as she can barely bend her arms 90 degrees.

Nevertheless, Megan is clearly awesome! Continue reading Megan: now with better articulation!

Easy 1:6 scale pillows

Easy 1:6 scale pillows published on No Comments on Easy 1:6 scale pillows

I acquired a few gunmetal satin drawstring bags in a recent purchase of 1:6 scale doll heads. You can easily find such bags in a variety of sizes in craft supply stores or online shops in the category for weddings. I guess people often put favors [Jordan almonds BLECH!] in them.Continue reading Easy 1:6 scale pillows

Ageing an action figure: Mamie

Ageing an action figure: Mamie published on No Comments on Ageing an action figure: Mamie

One of my first tries creating an old character in action figure form was Mamie. She was an LHF character, grandmother of the protagonist Anneka, and she was a tough 95-year-old.

I started off with a BBI Burner F15 Pilot head, as she was an androgynous woman, then recolored the hair silver with white highlights. I also added some light pink polymer clay to extend the end of her nose and her chin, then blushed them a bit to blend in with her existing skin. Mostly I used regular #2 pencil to draw wrinkles on her face, with colored pencil accents for especially dark shadows. Her head’s in poor condition, so I’ve tossed it. However, I have retained these photos for historical purposes. Continue reading Ageing an action figure: Mamie

BJD Text Confessions LOLs

BJD Text Confessions LOLs published on 1 Comment on BJD Text Confessions LOLs

Confession says, "All my dolls are based on the men of my masturbatory fantasies."

Collective response says, "So? Do you think that’s unique in this hobby?"

BWAH HAH!

Jareth: >:} [devious smirk]

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1468276.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Cuticles???

Cuticles??? published on No Comments on Cuticles???

Apparently some people have a real problem with their cuticles and bite/chew them the way that I do with my nails. I have never really understood this because I never have enough cuticles to harass, but I guess the amount of cuticles varies from person to person.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1468076.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Where are you, GI Jane nurse?

Where are you, GI Jane nurse? published on No Comments on Where are you, GI Jane nurse?

I used to have this doll: a Hasbro Classic Collection Vietnam nurse from about 2000 or so. She was my drag king. Then I got rid of her, but now I want her back and can’t find her anywhere! I can find the AA helo pilot and the Caucasian nurses, but no AA nurse. Come back to me, drag king!

Continue reading Where are you, GI Jane nurse?

Tonner finally makes something I want.

Tonner finally makes something I want. published on No Comments on Tonner finally makes something I want.

Check out this doll inspired by Dr. Seuss illustrations. She’s theoretically an interpretation of the palette from The Lorax, hence the name Truffula.

I like everything about the outfit, but the doll itself bores me to tears. Her hair should be either a gravity-defying, multi-tiered sculpture or some wild mess of tricolored faux fur [or a gravity-defying sculpture of faux fur with an explosion on the top]. Her makeup is way too flat and subdued, and her bug eyes do her no favors whatsoever. Snore.

This is the sort of outfit that I would purchase and then use as the centerpiece for a custom doll. That will never happen, however, because I am never getting into 1:4 scale. NEVER!

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1467403.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

I can just see the discussion now…

I can just see the discussion now… published on No Comments on I can just see the discussion now…

…When Dillon, Isabel’s ex, talks to her about buying Eppie, her pink Bug decorated with Puritan gravestone iconography.

"Is that the pink hearse?"

"It’s not a hearse; it’s a Bug."

"Well, it’s got all those skulls and crossbones on it."

"Those are death’s heads. You know nothing about eighteenth-century New England cemetery iconography."

"And I don’t want to either. Shudder. …They’d better be removable. The pink I can handle, but not those creepy stickers."

"And this is YET ANOTHER reason we broke up. The historically accurate decals are removable, and don’t worry. I’m keeping them."

"Thank God. It’s a deal!"

^_^

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1467306.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Isabel now has a pink Bug.

Isabel now has a pink Bug. published on 1 Comment on Isabel now has a pink Bug.

I’m not sure if I want to spray paint it either black or white or just leave it pink and put some weird designs on it. For some reason I’m thinking that there should be cemetery iconography on it. :p I mean, she likes this couch, so why not extend the same excruciating design principles to her car?

Vanity plate: EPITAPH. Isabel’s name for her car: Eppie. Yeah, she’s weird…

Isabel rocks! \o/

No wonder she gets haunted by a dead version of herself.

EDIT: I think I’ll leave the car pink, but stencil some death’s heads on it in black. FUCK YEAH!!!

EDIT 2: Gravestone Artwear generously allowed me to use some of their designs on Isabel’s car, so I vectorized four of my favorites. I will then create custom window clings that I can stick on the doors, hood and trunk of her car. This is going to be amazing! Hmmm, I should also create a little gravestoneartwear.com window cling too. 😀

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1467129.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Well, that escalated quickly. published on No Comments on Well, that escalated quickly.

Last week, I saw that someone was auctioning off her Soom Faery Legend Auber on Ebay. She bought him with outfit and wig, but no faceup or eyes, during Soom’s lottery last month when they were getting rid of old unclaimed stock. [I put in for a grey Auber during that lottery, but did not get him.]

I watched this auction for a white one with interest…especially as the starting bid, $450.00, reflected exactly what the first owner had paid for him, including all options and shipping. Since Auber fullsets rarely appear on the secondary market for less than $600.00, I viewed this auction as a chance to acquire a doll I wanted, hopefully without the ridiculous markup.

In preparation for a bidding war on Auber, I dropped prices yesterday on a few dolls that I had lingering on the DOA marketplace. Hours later, someone purchased both my Soom Uyoo Quite Rabbit and my Limhwa Sara for $475.00 shipped. She paid immediately, thus financing a bid on Auber for which I did not have to do creative accounting with my checking and savings accounts. :p

I stalked the auction during its final hours, and it held steady with only a single bid. With a minute remaining before close, I placed my $750.00 high bid and went to run around the office to relieve some tension.

Won the auction at $465.00!! \o/ \o/

Hey there, Jareth Jr. What’s up? :p

I can’t stand Soom’s male Mini Gem body sculpt with its ridiculously jacked proportions, so I’m going to put Jareth Jr.’s head and hands on a slim Lumedoll Lumelight body. Haven’t decided what to do about the feet. I might try modding the faery feet into ridiculous stiletto heels or something. :p

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1466570.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Cake in a pinch

Cake in a pinch published on No Comments on Cake in a pinch

I put some I Can’t Can Easily Believe It’s Not Butter on a slice of Anadama bread last night, then put Nutella on top of it. This was probably a waste of a perfectly good Great Harvest loaf, but it tasted like cake! The oil in the non-butter spread made the Nutella smoother and sweeter, like cake + frosting.

I promise to use this knowledge only for good. :p

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1466247.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Reeva Steenkamp, 29, is dead.

Reeva Steenkamp, 29, is dead. published on No Comments on Reeva Steenkamp, 29, is dead.

Steenkamp hailed from Cape Town, South Africa. She began work as a model in 2001 and graduated from Nelson Mandela Metro University in 2005 with a BA in law, then went on to work as a paralegal. She applied to the bar in 2011, hoping to be a legal advocate by the age of 30. She was murdered on Valentine’s Day, 2013, two days before the fifth season of reality TV show Tropika Island of Pleasure, in which she appeared, began airing.

She was murdered by abusive, wretched excuse for a human being [and celebrity athlete] Oscar Pistorius, in yet another depressingly common case of intimate partner violence.

How much do you wanna bet he’ll get away with it due to his super privileges as a white, rich, straight, cis, celebrity dude who can also play on the public assumption that people with disabilities are useless lumps who can’t do anything, much less murder?

And how much do you wanna bet that Steenkamp will disappear in the media’s narrative about how they’re shocked — shocked, I say! — that the inspiringly heroic supercrip should have such a tragic downfall?

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1466062.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Set pieces from the depths of time, part 1, 03/24/04: the jelly bean seat

Set pieces from the depths of time, part 1, 03/24/04: the jelly bean seat published on No Comments on Set pieces from the depths of time, part 1, 03/24/04: the jelly bean seat

There’s a thread on Figurvore about one’s first attempts at set pieces compared to one’s current efforts. It got me thinking about how I used to make sets.

When I first started in 1:6 scale, I built movable sets on my desktop or more permanent ones in bookshelves. I had very few backdrops and/or set pieces, so I mostly made do by repurposing commonly available items. One of my favorite examples of such reuse was the jelly bean seat.

To make the jelly bean seat, I started off using a short cylindrical container for binder clips. I brought it home from the office because it looked about the right size to serve as a table or ottoman or something.

When I got it home, I discovered that it was, in fact, the right height. However, the flexible plastic bowed under the weight of a doll, so I needed something to balance, solidify and add support.

It being in the vicinity of Easter, I hit upon the idea of filling the container with jelly beans. Hey, why not? I reasoned that they were attractively colored and also unspoilable [being made mostly of wax :p ]. I filled the container with a pleasing series of jelly beans, then glued the top on with my best friend ever, hot glue.Continue reading Set pieces from the depths of time, part 1, 03/24/04: the jelly bean seat

Bed

Bed published on No Comments on Bed

After suffering many years with a 1:6 scale bed made from a saggy, undersize cracker box covered with a piece of fabric from a pillow case, I improved my 1:6 scale bed tonight. This one is a sturdy, NON-saggy doll box, also covered with another pillow case. Isabel enjoys a book on it. I need some throw pillows that DO NOT have monkeys on them.
Continue reading Bed

All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part II: stuff in storage

All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part II: stuff in storage published on No Comments on All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part II: stuff in storage

Finally getting around to posting pictures of those set pieces and medium-sized things currently in storage [=at work].

Possible riddances: jewelry box ottoman [unless I can figure out how to clean the top], striped bamboo placemat, one wooden box.

Continue reading All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part II: stuff in storage

Hello money! G’bye money!

Hello money! G’bye money! published on No Comments on Hello money! G’bye money!

I got paid today! \o/! I also had someone pay off a layaway on some doll parts and another person buy other doll parts, so I was rich! RICH HAH HAH HAH!

Not for long. I proceeded to empty out my Paypal account as I purchased the following:

  1. Some pants specifically tailored for the 5StarDoll tiny body, meaning that they will fit my fat 1:6ers.
  2. A Tartarus Press hardcover edition of Sarban’s Doll Maker, a lovely, high-quality edition to replace my frail 1960s paperback.
  3. Two chocolate Hujoo bodies for my incoming Lumedoll Lumelight heads.
  4. A nude Monster High Skelita to supply the body for the dead version of Isabel.

There also appears to be some interest in the Rements I am auctioning off on Ebay, as well as MORE doll parts I’m selling on DOA, so I could have MORE money in my Paypal account next week.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1463162.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Goddamn it, Prudie!

Goddamn it, Prudie! published on No Comments on Goddamn it, Prudie!

Just in case you thought last month’s anti-fat advice column from Slate’s Dear Prudence was a fluke, here she is recycling the same rant for Valentine’s Day.

Letter writer: "I like this guy, but he’s gained 20 pounds in the past year, and he doesn’t brush his teeth before bed. I’m in the health industry, so I’m very concerned. What do I do?"

Prudie: "I see you’re worried about fatty there croaking from diabetes and you raising your kids alone. So give him an ultimatum: A) No kisses till he starts brushing regularly. B) Either he gets his fat ass to the gym on a slimming program and stops stuffing cake in his piehole, or you’re outta there. P.S. People without teeth are hilarious. Also ugly."

This response, like last month’s, reveals Prudie’s hangups and preoccupations. In both cases, she assumes that the fat people in question will, if they continue their current behavior, become shamefully disabled and eventually die, probably from complications from diabetes. Then their poor wives will be alone, so tragically alone, forced to raise the kids by themselves.

It’s so multiply offensive. In no particular order, there’s the clueless assumptions that fat people are axiomatically unhealthy. There’s the nasty, cruel jokes at the expense of people with disabilities. And there’s the heterosexist idea that a single mother and kids is not a real family, but something pathetic, unnatural and inadequate.

If Prudie really wanted to give helpful advice, she should encourage the letter writer to talk to her boyfriend and find out more about his childhood relationships to dental hygiene, sugar, diabetes and food in general. She should also ask him how he’s been doing in the last year physically, mentally and emotionally. The first subject could shed some light on why he has poor dental hygiene; maybe he never had toothbrushing habits modeled, or he’s scared of the dentist, or there was that one time his uncle called him Buckteeth, so he has really ambivalent feelings about his mouth in general. The second subject could provide context for his weight gain; maybe he’s feeling lethargic, or he’s lost his appetite, or his tastes have changed, or he’s eating in part due to boredom, anxiety or depression. Heck, maybe his thyroid’s off!

With this information, the letter writer and her boyfriend can, if they feel so motivated, better figure out the actual contributing factors to his poor dental hygiene and his recent weight gain, instead of attacking the symptoms. They can then consult the appropriate health care providers or social supports and work from there.

I know, Prudie; I know…that’s too much work. Far easier to focus on the symptoms and use emotional bribery to combat the eeeeeeeeevil fats.

Didn’t anyone tell you that ultimatums never work?

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1462985.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

ONOEZ, it’s the Dolly Gender Police!

ONOEZ, it’s the Dolly Gender Police! published on No Comments on ONOEZ, it’s the Dolly Gender Police!

BJD Text Confessions anonymous bigot sez:

I hate MD Jinas like Kyoyaxl has. Fucking learn the difference between a girl and a boy.

For those of you who do not speak BJD code, the submitter is saying that they dislike the Jina headsculpt by Migidoll when styled by doll owners like DOA member Kyoyaxl.

Migidoll bills Jina as a "girl," but that doesn’t mean much in the BJD world. Just because a company bills a head as "male" or "female" doesn’t mean that doll fiends will abide by those distinctions. The majority of BJD heads demonstrate a distinctly androgynous aesthetic that doesn’t swing in a stereotypically masculine or feminine direction. Ergo, there’s a lot of putting "female" heads on "male" bodies [and significantly less putting "male" heads on "female" bodies, the way that I did with my Frank BJD].

There’s also a lot of dressing "male" dolls in "women’s" clothes [and significantly less dressing "female" dolls in "men’s" clothes].

Incidentally, there are also a notable minority of breast removals ["girl to boy mods"] on "female dolls," as well as penis additions ["hermaphrodite mods"] on "female dolls" too.

All of this is to say that sex and gender presentation can be very fluid in the BJD world. And some BJD fiends, like our anonymous gender-policing bigot, are going to resist that fluidity kicking and screaming. Meanwhile, the rest of us are going to continue genderfucking while innocently asking, "And which differences, pray tell, are you speaking of?" :p

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1462586.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part I: stuff at home

All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part I: stuff at home published on No Comments on All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part I: stuff at home

There’s been so much turnover in the set pieces since my last census two months ago that I’m taking inventory again. Here are all my set pieces and medium-size 1:6 scale things that I have at home. Stuff in storage [=at work] will be posted later.

Continue reading All my sets and medium-size things, 02/12/2013, part I: stuff at home

Whenever I see scientific articles in lists of references…

Whenever I see scientific articles in lists of references… published on No Comments on Whenever I see scientific articles in lists of references…

…in the manuscripts I process, I think of this Piled Higher and Deeper cartoon about author order.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1462132.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Notes on organizing doll stuff

Notes on organizing doll stuff published on No Comments on Notes on organizing doll stuff

Move all the dolls in progress and spare parts from purple drawers to black/clear drawer.

Put medium-size stuff in purple drawer. Subdivide?

Find eyeballs!

Make labels for purple drawers bigger.

Sort through clothes.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1461590.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Keeping warm in Toxic Waste II: Brandeis Weaver

Keeping warm in Toxic Waste II: Brandeis Weaver published on No Comments on Keeping warm in Toxic Waste II: Brandeis Weaver

So the doll that was going to be Dillon, Isabel’s ex, coworker and car buyer, told me that she was not actually Dillon; she was Brandeis Weaver, Toxic Waste denizen. Just to refresh your memory, she is an Alchemic Lab Unoa Light Azurite [the dude — I can never remember which name goes with which one].

I only know a bit about Brandeis. She’s a PWS in her teens who, as a homeless person, lives in Toxic Waste. The physical effects of her spondis are relatively mild. She uses a cane [not shown] in large part because she has lost several toes on each foot. Mentally, however, she has a very ineffective short-term memory, which leads to her carrying around notebooks and writing down everything.

Her parents kicked her out of her house about two years ago when they found out that she was trans. She ran away up here with her 25-year-old girlfriend, whose father lived in Winooski. She and her girlfriend lived with her girlfriend’s father for a short time until she couldn’t sleep, hearing their fights, and she began to fear for her safety. She had good reason to worry, as the violence spilled over onto her when she found out that she had spondis; her girlfriend began yelling at her. She ran away again, ending up in Toxic Waste.

Brandeis spends time studying for her GED and hanging around Outright Vermont [more research needed]. She has characters in her head that she has long-running, complex relationships with and that she refers to as if they are outside of her head. She’s shy and kind of flinchy, but she talks volubly when she feels comfortable with someone. She calls herself an airhead because her memory is so poor, but there’s actually a lot going on in there. She hates when people raise their voices; it makes her cry. She also is deathly afraid of being cold. She has a HUGE CRUSH on Peter, which is actually causing her somewhat of a crisis, as she was pretty sure she was a lesbian until she met him. [Jeez, who doesn’t have a huge crush on Peter? :p]

Uh…okay…maybe I know more about her than I thought. ^_^

Oh right! Pictures! Here she is without a faceup. She still needs face paint, a cane, some notebooks, a backpack, weathering and rips in her jeans and weathering on her boots. Continue reading Keeping warm in Toxic Waste II: Brandeis Weaver

Chittenden County Doll Club, 02/09/13: everyone’s dolls!

Chittenden County Doll Club, 02/09/13: everyone’s dolls! published on No Comments on Chittenden County Doll Club, 02/09/13: everyone’s dolls!

We had the biggest meetup ever this afternoon; five people attended: me, Lyrajean, vermont chick, goldi and Megan, a newcomer. Here are the best of the 177 photos I took:Continue reading Chittenden County Doll Club, 02/09/13: everyone’s dolls!

Recent projects: spaghetti and Peter

Recent projects: spaghetti and Peter published on No Comments on Recent projects: spaghetti and Peter

I made some 1:6 scale spaghetti this week. At first I coveted Rement’s Fun Meals #8, Spaghetti and Meatballs, but it’s out of print and running at ridiculous prices on Ebay. I am not paying $20.00 for a plate of plastic spaghetti! I don’t even pay that much for a plate of real spaghetti.

Anyway, I decided to make my own. I mixed up some yellowish tan polymer clay and rolled it into a long thin string. The I swirled the string into a pile and cured it. After curing, I added sauce. The lumpy consistency of the acrylic paint worked in my favor, giving the appearance of tomato chunks and possibly pieces of ground beef.
Continue reading Recent projects: spaghetti and Peter

Hey look…an old woman!

Hey look…an old woman! published on 1 Comment on Hey look…an old woman!

I have a crush on Judi Dench, and Wanted Action Figure’s 1:6 scale resin version of her as M from the James Bond re-re-re-re-re-re-re-reboot captures the seriousness and strength that I love.

Surely Zombieville can make room for a kick-ass old woman? Now that I think about it, maybe this sculpt should serve for Dr. Z. Judi Dench is almost 80, and Dr. Z. is in her 50s, but spondis really wears down a person’s body, besides making it fall apart. Therefore PWS look more and more haggard as they age. That sculpt would make a wonderful Dr. Z.!

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1460478.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Oooh look…an old guy!

Oooh look…an old guy! published on No Comments on Oooh look…an old guy!

I love the sunken eyes and the effect of wizened skin around the mouth.

Oh wait…You say that’s a Nazi zombie?

Sure, if you insist. I still maintain that, if you give him some hair and different clothes, you’ve got a very old [or at least very weathered] guy.

I like his expression. It’s very intense without being dour or angry. He looks very serious and peremptory, but not mean.

No! I’m not getting him!

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1459981.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

This is not an Awkward Stock Photo!

This is not an Awkward Stock Photo! published on No Comments on This is not an Awkward Stock Photo!

This is awesome! How often do you see fat, kinky, androgynous, pierced people with disabilities in stocky photos? WOOOOOO HOOOOO! What a cute pair. ^_^

EDIT: I fixed the link!

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1459890.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

1:6 scale vending machines, part II

1:6 scale vending machines, part II published on No Comments on 1:6 scale vending machines, part II

Based on my discussion with batchix in comments on this entry, a claw machine wrote its way into Zombieville, where it now features prominently in an entire subplot. Sheesh!!

Fortunately, the machine itself [which does not need to be playable] will be exceptionally easy to make. The hard part will be making the custom toys that piss Isabel off. Stay tuned for the construction of the Catch a Zombie! game.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1459553.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Jareth’s mind is in the gutter.

Jareth’s mind is in the gutter. published on No Comments on Jareth’s mind is in the gutter.

Or in his pants. Not sure which.

Or his pants are in the gutter.

I took off Jareth’s jacket, undid his shirt and lay him supine on my desk so I could measure [approximately] from nipple to crotch for the Corset Thing of Awesomeness. When I looked up from putting away the ruler, this happened:Continue reading Jareth’s mind is in the gutter.

The House at One Sixth’s doll room

The House at One Sixth’s doll room published on No Comments on The House at One Sixth’s doll room

I’m in awe of the quantity and diversity of 1:6 scale set pieces this woman has. As for me, though, I’m glad that I have really scaled back on my 1:6 scale set pieces and accessories. As cool as some of that stuff was, I do not use it regularly.

…Hmmm…I can probably get rid of even more of my set pieces, now that I think about it…

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1458973.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Trail mix, take one

Trail mix, take one published on No Comments on Trail mix, take one

In an attempt to put more complex carbohydrates and protein in my snacks, I picked up some bulk fudz at City Market Markup this afternoon:

  • peanuts, roasted, salted and blanched x 1.45 lb
  • carob chips x 1.5 lb
  • raisins x 0.81 lb
  • raw cashews x 0.57 lb
  • raw filberts [hazelnuts] x 0.35 lb

That’s about 4.7 lbs of fudz! I hope this combination works. If not, I’ll try again. I’m already thinking that I need at least 1 lb of raisins, only 1 lb of peanuts and at least 0.75 lb of cashews.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1458600.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Best vampire novel ever!

Best vampire novel ever! published on No Comments on Best vampire novel ever!

Mary Downing Hahn’s Look for Me by Moonlight tells the story of 16-year-old Cynda. She spends the winter at her remarried father’s isolated Maine inn, where she feels left out of his new family. She ignores the overtures of friendship from a fellow loner her age, Will, in favor of the only person that she feels understands her: the elegant, cultured Vincent, who is at least twice her age [well, actually more like 31.25 times her age, but he looks 30].

Vincent plays on Cynda’s crush and enthralls her so that he may drink her blood. She finds herself powerless to resist his commands and even to tell her family how he is sapping her will to live. The climax occurs when Vincent manipulates Cynda’s 5-year-old half-brother Todd into becoming his next victim. Wrenching herself from her enchantment, Cynda enlists Will’s help and, with some supernatural aid from the ghosts of previous 16-year-olds that Vincent has drained, eradicates the vampire.

I fucking love this book! As a novel for kids from 9 to 13, it’s written simply, but evocatively, with the usual mastery of creepy atmosphere demonstrated by Hahn in most of her stories. At the same time, even though it’s a YA book, Hahn directly engages with the combination of sex and death that makes seduction by vampire so peculiarly potent. I mean, everyone in the entire book [including Cynda] worries about Vincent taking advantage of Cynda and even raping her, though, thanks to Vincent’s machinations, Cynda’s parents end up believing that Will represents a sexual threat to her. After reading so much YA paranormal romance bullshit [oh hey there, Twilight saga!] that doesn’t seriously address the power differential between the mortal female protagonist and the vampire male love interest, I am so glad to read a well-written exposition of the temptation and also the supreme, cold ickiness of finding out that your fantasy is made of ice that wishes only to penetrate you and kill you to the core.

Look for Me by Moonlight reminds me strongly of Sarban’s Doll Maker, another nearly allegorical, simply written, evocative novel in which a young woman dances with, goes under and then, finally, resists and pulls free from, an older man who sexually dominates her and prefigures death. As Cynda almost becomes Vincent’s icy object, so Clare in the Doll Maker almost becomes Niall’s doll, but they both end up overcoming those men who would occupy them. Interestingly, both of them use the ambivalent, cleansing power of fire to effect their final transformation from thrall to independent agent. [Kill it! Kill it with fire!!]

Look for Me by Moonlight also reminds me of Labyrinth. I mean, heck, it’s about a 16-year-old girl [Sarah] who feels displaced from her family due to her mother’s absence and her father’s remarriage. She resents her half-brother [Toby] and spends much of her time living in fantasies [that damn play] where she is convinced that an older dude [Jareth] cares for her. Ultimately, though, she realizes that the older dude means death, so she must rescue her half-brother and herself from his clutches. Of course, Look for Me by Moonlight lacks the added layer that Labyrinth has of occurring entirely within the protagonist’s mind. Therefore Cynda needs to neutralize Vincent, while Sarah, in my interpretation, should be doing something more complex than that with Jareth. In any event, I will never tire of reading feminist tales of girls kicking oppressive patriarchal ass and coming into their own power based on warmth, love and connection.

Jareth is such a pedophilic vampire. I mean the one in the movie.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1458408.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

1:6 scale vending machine!

1:6 scale vending machine! published on No Comments on 1:6 scale vending machine!

MyFroggyStuff does some of the best doll-related craft tutorials around, repurposing common household items in easy and innovative ways to make inexpensive, convincing accessories and sets. For example, her tutorial on making a 1:6 scale vending machine out of a tissue box, plastic sheeting and newspaper pictures of snacks is brilliant.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1457605.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

Labyrinth stuff go away!

Labyrinth stuff go away! published on No Comments on Labyrinth stuff go away!

I love Labyrinth. It has been and always will be my favorite movie. The time has come, however, to part with my collection of memorabilia and ephemera from the film. These books and articles have just been sitting on my shelf, collecting dust, for a decade or more. They deserve love and attention.

I’m not putting this lot on Ebay [yet] because I don’t want it to go to a speculator or reseller who doesn’t care about it. I’d prefer it to go to a good home whose owner dreams of friendly Muppets and David Bowie’s [crystal!!!] balls.

Who am I? I’m a writer and doll enthusiast, creator of the now-dormant Labyrinth fan site Jareth’s Realm. I’ve got over 10 years of positive feedback as a buyer and seller on Ebay under modernwizard. I’ve also got good reputations on Men With Dolls, Den of Angels and Etsy. Deal with confidence! You can reach me at labyrinthlot at gmail dot com.
Continue reading Labyrinth stuff go away!

FS/T: Rare Re-ment Jumbo Food mascots

FS/T: Rare Re-ment Jumbo Food mascots published on No Comments on FS/T: Rare Re-ment Jumbo Food mascots

Hey, anyone want more Rements? :winky: These come from the 2009 Jumbo Food
mascot set, which means that they are individually packaged Rements
on chains that you’re supposed to attach to your cell phone. Of course,
you can take the chain off.

The cool thing about these is that they’re a bit larger than most
Rements, which are usually a bit undersized. They’re also huge servings
in defiance of such mundane concerns as gravity! I mean, look at
the fruit on that sundae. How is it hanging on???!!

I have about 6 or 7 pieces from the set still in their sealed clear
plastic bags. $5.50 apiece + s/h.

Official photos because my camera is currently occupied:

Tempura bowl:
http://www.re-ment.co.jp/products/jumbofood/002.html

Steak and gravy:
http://www.re-ment.co.jp/products/jumbofood/003.html

Rice bowl:
http://www.re-ment.co.jp/products/jumbofood/005.html

Custard with chocolate sauce:
http://www.re-ment.co.jp/products/jumbofood/007.html

4-scoop ice cream cone:
http://www.re-ment.co.jp/products/jumbofood/009.html

Sundae with fruit:
http://www.re-ment.co.jp/products/jumbofood/011.html

I have little to no online access this weekend, so, if you PM me,
please be patient for my reply. Thanks.

This entry was originally posted at http://modernwizard.dreamwidth.org/1456928.html. You can comment here, but I’d prefer it if you’d comment on my DW using OpenID.

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