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BREAKING NEWS: The following people are not God.

BREAKING NEWS: The following people are not God. published on 4 Comments on BREAKING NEWS: The following people are not God.

1. Joss Whedon. Just because he was behind a clever movie [BTVS], a generally awesome TV show [BTVS], two better-than-average TV shows [Angel and Firefly], an acceptable movie extension [Serenity] and an intermittently witty but mostly flaccid Web movie [Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog] does not mean that his latest outing, Dollhouse, is automatically wonderful.

  • In point of fact #1, his quality has been going downhill ever since BTVS.
  • In point of fact #2, Dollhouse so far is a silly TV show on par with Fringe in that both shows contain silly premises, unconvincing, murky universes and leads with all the acting ability of lukewarm tap water.
  • In point of fact #3, Dollhouse so far is actually worse than Fringe because it lacks the emotional warmth and accessibility that major players John Noble and Joshua Jackson bring to Fringe.

2. Alan Moore [and Zack Snyder]. V for Vendetta is overrated; for a comic book, it has art equivalent to the poorly mimeographed ads in the back of my childhood Archie serials that wanted me to send $1.25 to a PO box in New York so I could get a box of "hilarious" practical joke devices. Watchmen is overrated; for a story about a whole world on the brink of collapse, it conveniently disregards the female population, except insofar as they are defined by sexually abusive relationships with wankers. And both Alan Moore and Zack Snyder are overrated; both of them are too busy staring at the magnificence of their own egos to register the fact that the world contains individuals besides tragic, conflicted, chisel-jawed men.

The people who need to be notified of these not-God individuals — namely, the Whedon wanks on Television Without Pity’s Dollhouse forums parsing every moment of dialog looking for "Jossian greatness" and the Moore/Snyder posse who seriously believes that the Watchmen movie is on par with The Godfather trilogy [seriously?!] — are not going to listen to me. However, if you happen to be of reasonable sanity and you wonder what all the spooge in a teacup is over these not-God individuals, rest assured that you are not missing anything in avoiding either Dollhouse or Watchmen. I’ll keep you updated on the off chance that Dollhouse improves. Anyone associated with #2, however, is a lost cause.

To conclude, the following people are God.

1. David Bowie…or, more precisely, his Area. That is all.


BREAKING NEWS: The following people are not God.

1. I saw the Watchmen movie today. Best I can say is that it was an okay action flick. I am not familiar with the characters and after seeing the movie, I don’t feel I missed anything. The women’s characters seemed flat and hyper-sexualized. The men were gratuitously violent. It wasn’t the worst movie, but I wouldn’t watch it again on a slow night for free.

2. Dollhouse, the tv show. I have been trying to keep up with this series. I liked Eliza Dushku as Faith in Buffy and as Tru in Tru Calling. I liked Buffy until they brought in the Dawn storyline; I liked Angel until they killed Cordy. Firefly, I loved for its entire brief existence. I even bought the Firefly DVD. Dollhouse on the other hand, I’m trying to like. Position: waiting to be wowed.


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