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Great, ’cause we all needed some 1:6 dog crap.

Great, ’cause we all needed some 1:6 dog crap. published on 4 Comments on Great, ’cause we all needed some 1:6 dog crap.

Barbie takes on a variety of jobs these days. I’ve seen Dog Trainer Barbie in the toy stores, but I didn’t think anything of it till someone over on MWD linked to a detailed review of the set. Containing Barbie and her dog Tanner, the Dog Trainer set also features the splendiferous and innovative Eat ‘N’ Crap mechanism! The set comes with brown, bean-like pellets that you can stick in Tanner’s mouth. When you push down on Tanner’s tail, the pellet comes out the rear end. It can then be picked up with the magnetic poop scoop.

I don’t object to crapping toys on principle, although I don’t like them, but this one just grosses me out, though. Tanner’s food looks exactly the same, no matter what end it comes out, so the dog is either eating shit or shitting chocolate. Furthermore, the pellets look like some sort of human candy, which gives their cycle through the plastic dog digestive tract an extra stomach-turning aspect.

Ya know, if kids really want to make their toys barf, piss, shit, sneeze, etc., they’ll find ways to do so. My sister and I used to make our hollow plastic My Little Ponies pee by squirting water out of their tail holes. No magnetic gimmicks needed!


I’d much rather have a horse that shits than a shapeless brown dog. Tanner is the ugliest pet ever. The action feature wouldn’t bother me as much if I didn’t have dogs that ate their own shit (for what reason is beyond me), but I am more uneasy about Barbie being a medium for parents to teach their children to clean up after their pets. And what kind of fucking design team would ever agree on this kind of shit?! RIDICULOUS. As worldly as Barbie is (ha), the big M could promote goodwill towards man, tolerance, acceptance and the goodness of contributing to the less fortunate. Or even give the bitch a designer orange vest to lend a hand by way of ‘community service.’ But, no…they give kids bullshit like this.

With a closet full of Oscar de la Renta, Armani, Versace and Anna Sui, I’m sure Barbie wouldn’t really pick up her own dog shit. That’s what best friends are for, right? Ha. Poor Midge.

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