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Twilight the movie: a-duuuuuuur.

Twilight the movie: a-duuuuuuur. published on 6 Comments on Twilight the movie: a-duuuuuuur.

So I watched the first 30 minutes of Twilight last night before my copy crapped out. It was so boring. I liked the pretty colors on the screen, very gloomy, dense and rainy, but the stupid, empty script, combined with the endless staring, drove me up the wall. Kristen Stewart may be hot, but she apparently has Jennifer Connelly Syndrome: an inability to keep her mouth from hanging open. Rob Pattinson has a fascinatingly angular profile, and his acting is a damn sight better than Stewart’s, which, in this film of feeble performances, is not saying much. The movie Bella has all the personality of a piece of uncooked tofu, while the movie Edward is prickly, insulting, pissy and completely unattractive. I don’t know what these characters see in each other.


Twilight Movie

I barely got through watching this movie. Just when I thought Barbara Cartland scenes with multiple ellipses and tormenting pauses was over – shudder! Behold the screen re-entry of pauses that make the viewer want to fast forward the tape just to get a single sentence complete. If I could send the Bella and the Edward characters to the most grotesque movie I can think of – Hostel – for torture, I would have. The most enviable character was Bella’s dead mother (dead? please, Momma ran off to get away from that annoying teen).

I’m not familiar with the book trilogy, but I hope it isn’t as awful as the movie. Bleech! I shudder just to think of it.

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