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Elizabear’s cheap, delicious vegetarian chili

Elizabear’s cheap, delicious vegetarian chili published on No Comments on Elizabear’s cheap, delicious vegetarian chili

Based on 2009’s invention, cold chili glop.

The following makes 4 to 5 servings.


  • 1 can of beans [~14oz.] — black, red, pinto, etc. [black or pinto recommended]
  • 1 cup uncooked rice — brown, white, basmati, long-grain, etc. [brown or white recommended]
  • 1 jar of salsa [~16oz.] — any type [Green Mountain Salsa recommended]
  • 8-12oz. sour cream or plain yogurt [low- or full-fat recommended]
  • salt to taste


  • shredded cheese [sharp cheddar recommended]
  • browned meat [which obviously makes it not vegetarian] [lean ground beef or turkey recommended]
  • hot sauce
  • tomato paste

NOTE: I have never included browned meat, tomato paste or hot sauce in my own experiments, so I just stuck them in the recipe at what seemed like the appropriate point. I claim no responsibility for any disgusting results you may incur by following my instructions.


  • Start rice cooking. Put x cups of rice in at least 2x cups of water. 2.5x cups is even better, as you can always drain off the excess water later. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. 
  • While rice is cooking, open beans. Rinse and drain to get rid of slime. Put them in a clean pot large enough for at least twice, if not thrice, that amount of beans.
  • Simmer rice for a while [40+ minutes], stirring regularly and sampling occasionally. Rice is done when it is soft, but not mushy, and has absorbed almost all the water. Usually these two events coincide, but not always.
  • Remove rice from pot when done and put in with beans. Mix thoroughly. Put hot water and soap in rice pot to soak so leftover rice doesn’t congeal.
  • Open salsa. Dump in with beans and rice. Mix thoroughly. Sample. Add salt if desired.
  • If adding meat, hot sauce or tomato paste, these ingredients should go in at this point.
  • If preparing for later consumption, add enough sour cream or yogurt  to make the chili gooey, but not sloppy. Mix; sample; salt.
  • Add shredded cheese if desired. Mix; sample.
  • If preparing for immediate consumption, heat rice, beans and salsa until they are all hot. Then add sour cream or yogurt, then shredded cheese.
  • Eat it.
  • Store leftovers in sealed plastic or glass container. Chili nukes really well, but can also be enjoyed cold. Good for at least 5 days, it actually improves flavor with age.

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