This 1996 film about necrophilia looks possibly interesting. It strongly reminds me of a vampire film. I need some more interesting movies in my life. I’m in a good movie drought right now.

EDIT: I just bought it from half.com because neither Hollywood Express nor Blockbuster had it. [Well, Hollywood Express had it on tape, but the world don’t run on VHS any more.] I wonder why I think less about purchasing DVDs than I do purchasing books. 

While I’m purchasing movies about sexual deviations, maybe I should also get a copy of Secretary, you know, just to fondle. I really haven’t been rewatching any favorite movies recently.

On the subject of paraphilias, I wonder when that movie about bestiality with horses will come out on DVD.

“Deviancy” is one of my favorite words, deriving from the Latin “de” = “away from” and “via” = “road.” Literally it means going off-road [or what happens when you get really lost on a car ride]. Though the adjective gets a derogatory inflection most of the times it is used, it is actually a neutral descriptor. I find it equally applicable for discussion of road trips, recipes, political leanings and sexual predelictions.

Very rarely am I generally impressed with a movie, but that’s my reaction to the latest Pixar effort, Ratatouille.

I also just have to mention that we saw a trailer for Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium,

Wake me up when Stardust comes out. Despite my fear that it will be a thoroughly formulaic, thematically light fairy tale [Neil Gaiman is not notable for significant depth], it does have some good actors in it and possibly some nice swordplay. Alternatively, I’ll check into The Golden Compass, just to see how much of a compressed turd they make out of a good book by putting a Scientologist nutball as one of the lead characters [unless I’m wrong and Nicole Kidman swore off the space aliens Ponzi scheme religion once she broke off from Mr. “Not Gay No Way” “Big Nose” Cruise].

I just made a payment on Will, bringing the total amount paid to $1097.61. I guess I’ve purchased all of him up to his nipples. I can’t wait to get his head!

Unidoll is apparently coming out with new bodies [?] for their 63cm Uni Real male dolls. The new bodies have fully articulated fingers. From what I can tell, the articulated hands look like wooden artist’s mannequins. I think they are really beautiful, although I wonder about their clenching power. If the articulated hands can hold things without drooping out of position, I wonder if I could get them separately for my dollses…

Took some stuff off my Will order, reducing total to $1437.60. As much as I eagerly await my doll, I’m annoyed that the price for I.B. Hunter Sabik was so ridiculously inflated compared to the initial release and then to Cyborg Sabik. I’m also very annoyed with myself for paying said inflated price.

So in November of last year, Mike Dillon sent me five single-spaced pages of erudite speculation on Jareth, Sarah and the psychological ramifications of the Labyrinth. Not until today did I hack a shorter, less dense essay out of all his fascinating thoughts. See below for a theory on Jareth’s secretly benevolent nature. Apparently he really wants to be Sarah’s therapist. No really…just read it… Amusing comic-like illustrations included…

[MW STEPS UP to the podium at an outdoor amphitheater reminiscent of the Coliseum.]

MW: Howdy there, loyal Jareth’s Realm viewers.

[MW LOOKS around. SOUND of crickets chirping.]

MW: Apparently all my fans are invisible. Anyway, folks, we’ve got some great new material in the works. I’m right now editing a fan’s interpretation of Jareth as psychologist, so watch for an interesting essay on that soon.

[SOUND of crickets chirping grows fainter as MW PAUSES again.]

MW: Plus I have some awesome fan art of Jareth coming up! The artist,

phurie_dae

, worked with me for over a year to get it just right!

[MW GESTURES dramatically. NO more  crickets CHIRPING.]

MW: It’s really sexy. He’s lounging in a window with a smirk on his face and you can see a glimpse of his Area.

[MW WAITS for audience response. CRICKETS have clearly gone back under their grass blades to listen to something more interesting, like a rebroadcast of Senate subcommittee hearings on welfare reform.]

MW: Screw this. I’m gonna go sing Video Killed The Radio Star off-key for the 478th time in a row.

[MW WALKS off the stage.]

I just made another installment on the Will doll, which brings me to $722.61 of $1498.60 paid off.  I think I’ve just about successfully purchased his legs, which make up 40 cm of his 80 cm gangliness. Did I mention he was an expensive fucker? I hope he plays fetch, washes my dishes and gives back rubs for that kind of money…

Home on the Strange uses a light touch and bold, happy lines to show the amusing, slightly exaggerated lives and intersections of a small cluster of 30-something nerds. The usual jokes about gamer culture are here, but fleshed out with relationship dramas and a deft use of character development. Ferrett Steinmetz and Veronica Pare make a fluid and humorous collaboration.

In the summer of 2001 and 2002, I watched both seasons of TNT’s Witchblade with a friend.

The Cerebrus Project Mini Fee Ruth that I sold to Baiken in France WITHOUT insurance or delivery confirmation arrived safely! In the mean time, I worried that it would get lost just because I had tempted fate by forgetting insurance and delivery confirmation. Now that the damn doll has successfully arrived at its destination, I offer the following announcement for me and others:

If you’re sending a valuable package by USPS domestic mail, pay for insurance and delivery confirmation. If you’re doing the same with a package going internationally, send by EMS [even though it’s more expensive than air letter-post] with insurance and delivery confirmation as well.

As a rule of thumb, I usually insure the package for 15 to 20% more than what the person paid for it. While insurance and delivery confirmation do not solve all problems, they do obviate anxiety about the package between its departure and arrival.

I have a Destiny, doncha know? With a capital D. Really! I’ve got a
prophecy and superpowers and everything.

Supposedly.

http://www.dollshoesinternational.co.nz/

I’m gonna compare these to measurements for Jareth and see what clothes Will might fit into. The stupendousness is fascinating, huh?

Based on these measurements and the eyeballing of my BJD wardrobe, I expect Will to fit into the following:

Tops: stretchy lace leotard, the black sweater with red trim, the men’s white dress shirt with sleeves up, the lace shirt, blank tank, Hell Queen bodice [with some wedging]

Bottoms: Hell Queen velvet bloomers [hah!], Kala skirt, red leggings [legs too short], grey leggings [legs too short]

Shoes: Jareth’s shitkickers, Frank’s faaaaahbulous pink glitter-shitting boots

I’ve seen Just The Right Shoe shoe sculptures in tchotchke shops. The designs have attracted me, but the fact that there is only ONE shoe has annoyed me. However, now that I see that they are 4 inches long, I think that there might be an actual use for these frustrating collectibles. You see…4 inches = 10.16 cm, which is about 2 cm longer than Sabik’s feets [8.3 cm] and generally about 1:3. Perhaps it is possible to modify some of these JTRSs into fabulous footwear for my dolls…namely WIll, for whom I cannot find a decent pair of atrocious heels to save my life… JTRSs sold here.

Fete miniature shoes are sold through Amazon.

Disco sandal keychains…?

High-heeled pump keychains…?

And these…oh, these…are the ultimate in coolness: Disco Diva JTRSs. Cheap here.

…although, since he is on layaway, the doll will not arrive for a while. Expensive fucker.

I am zees close to buying a Sabik [Iron Brain edition, yahahahahahah!] on layaway when he is available tomorrow.

I want this doll because it looks like a character of mine [Will] and because it’s approximately the size I want as well. With mannequins [aka life-size dolls!!] as a comparison, I mistakenly assumed that 1:3 BJDs would be much BIGGER than a measly 60 or 70 cm. Sabik’s size, 80 cm, approaches what I’d expect from a BJD, although I’d be much happier with a 3- or 4-footer.

EDIT: I really hope that Build A Bear clothes would fit Sabik as egregiously short crop tops or shorts or microskirts, especially since they are cheaaaaaap and there is a BAB store nearby.

In my investigations, I have discovered two more companies to add to my list of companies I do not want to patronize because they are tainted by plagiarism.

Slayage, the online journal of Buffy studies, has a new URL. It can now be found here: http://www.slayageonline.com/

O frabjous day!

For the past few years, I have been looking for books about the affective, psychological and cultural meanings of dolls, specifically as they might pertain to the modern popularity of BJDs. If anyone has more suggestions, let me know!

Studies of Jareth.

I made a monogoggle prototype just now with my usual plastic cap for a lens base and bronze paint. Then I added several layers of leather, cut from an old purse, for padding around the eye. I felt confident that this might actually be a finished product and not a prototype, but then I tried it on my largest BJD’s head [Frank’s].

More for me than for you.

Screw caps seem to work pretty well for lens fittings on BJD-scale goggles.

I modified Brass Goggles’ tutorial on disposable steampunk goggles for humans tonight. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I took her tutorial as inspiration for some experimentation of my own based on the screw top for a small maple syrup container. The area around my desk still smells like syrup, even though I finished the monogoggle a half an hour ago. I can honestly say that this was one of the sweetest projects that I’ve done. HAR. While incredibly messy and unfinished, the experimental monogoggle looks more professional and convincing than my cardboard goggle mock-up.

Now making the rounds on the Net is the BBC2’s docu on the Westboro Baptist Church Cult.

Doggles sells eyewear for dogs. There are many different colors and sizes, as well as swappable lenses!! The sizing chart seems to suggest that an XS size would fit your standard 60 or 70cm BJD’s head. [I assume that the “head size” refers to circumference.] According to some more detailed stats, the XS head band adjusts from 5 to 13 inches, and the lenses are 1 inch high and 1.25 inches wide.

Doggiduds also sells goggles for dogs. No changeable lenses, but slightly cheaper.

EDIT: I just bought a pair of the XS smoke/chrome ones…strictly for research purposes, you know. $18.00, free shipping…and that was the lowest I could find after shopping around. Hopefully I can customize them with steamy, punky gimcracks… EAT MY PRICE TAG, ANOTHERSPACE!

Anotherspace sells goggles for dolls. It boggles my mind that the price is $42.00 for a pair of 60cm goggles with leather frames. Why are they so freakin’ expensive? Is it the leather?

Here’s an aviator outfit for teddy bears, including goggles.

Here are some white goggles, along with a swimsuit, from Build A Bear.

Here are some human-sized brass and leather goggles for inspiration.

Here’s a TUTORIAL on how to make brass[ish??] and leather human-sized goggles out of escutcheons and old belts…

Here’s an Instructable about modding welder’s goggles to make human-sized steampunk goggles.

This evening, using the pattern mentioned in the previous entry, I constructed a pair of lensless prototype goggles for Frank. I used cardboard for the frames, masking tape as an adhesive and rubber bands for the nose piece and the head straps. Since I was scaling down a human pattern, I guessed on the measurements. The actual size of the frames looks correct, but the side pieces are clearly too deep. I also made the mistake of using a stretchy material for the nose piece so that the goggles stretched out to look wall-eyed. Despite these first-time blunders, i proved to myself that I could indeed construct goggles. With better materials and more refined measurements, these will look pretty cool. The picture of just one of Frank’s eyes gives a sense of how neat these will be when drafted again and finished! Reference pictures below.

Here is a discussion thread about many styles of steampunk goggles and how to make them: right here.

Here is a tutorial on temporary steampunk goggles, fit for costumes: right here.

I can use this information to make doll goggles, I think.

Denny Kim, representative of Doll In Mind, struck up a thread about likeness BJDs earlier this year. After an initial spurt of interest and a round of orders in mid-February, the first set of custom sculpts are surfacing on DOA with model photos for comparison.

I loved making maps of imaginary countries when I was young. Now I can do the same thing on the computer with the freeware AutoRealm. I wonder if I could bring the United Provinces of Ilion into digital format?

CrazyTalk software does simple animations on still photos so that they seem to be speaking in synch with sounds. Interesting.

Oh yeah…and while I’m at it…

Not Doll Lab’s Miriam looks like their earlier release [EDIT: DollMore’s] Banji [translucent skin, round eyes, pursed lips], although larger and more mature. I like the sculpt, but the shallow cuts all over her body distract me. I can’t think about the aesthetic appeal of the doll or the paint job when I’m trying to wonder how someone would receive such wounds. I can only guess that she peeled off her pajamas and went sleepwalking through the raspberry canes, in which case the whole conceit appears silly, rather than edgy. Also…what the heck is that background…raisins on a sheepskin rug??

Those persons realizing that Sabik is too big for their tastes are now selling him. Unfortunately, his body, clothes and hefty shipping price come along with him. The price jacks from $650.00 [nude, no faceup, shipping included] direct from Soom to ~$925.00-$950.00 on the secondary market. It’s frustrating to see la poupee available but unreachable, especially since I want Sabik’s head more and more as I see more pictures of it.

I thought I wanted one, but I want Sabik’s head more. However, I already agreed to a split with someone else, so I ordered a CP MNF Ruth Special so he could have the sleeping head and the body and I could have the awake head. But now I don’t want the awake head. I ordered it today, no faceup, so it should be arriving in 2-3 weeks. Ruth isn’t available in parts, so, if you like the head, this is your chance to get it. Any interest?

Someone over at DOA provided pictures of Sabik’s head on a 70cm Dollshe boy body, concluding that the results were a scary failure. I disagree. The head looks slightly too large, but that’s not a problem, for a few reasons…

First of all, a Sabik head on a Dollshe body is about 7 heads high. The ideally proportioned male body is 8 heads high, but real people show great variation, so it is possible that a male could be 7 heads high. 

Second of all, the Sabik head fits in stylistically on a Dollshe body. The Dollshe body is characterized by a lean physique, elongated rectangular forms and fine detail. Sabik’s head also has elongated rectangular forms and fine detail. While the Sabik head may be a bit too big, its stylistic harmony with the Dollshe body overcomes some of the size difference.

Finally, the largeness of Sabik’s head can be mitigated with creative costuming and posing. I’ve already had experience with a big-headed doll, Frank, a Yukinojo head on a Bella Auden body, and I’ve learned that certain angles [de-emphasizing the poofy hair] and certain outfits [balloon sleeves to add bulk to his scrawny arms] compensate well for the size difference between his head and the rest of him.  If a Sabik/Dollshe hybrid were clothed and photographed with a modicum of skill, I believe that it would look great.

All of this is, of course, a neat way of convincing myself that a Sabik head would work on Jareth’s body so I could make a Will doll. Picture below.

That’s the 80 cm Mecha Angel by Soom. Actually, I just want his head because it would be a great 1:3 likeness of my favorite character from Love Has Fangs. No, not Anneka, but Will.

Will is a very amusing character. Anneka has a sense of style, but Will doesn’t. I always got the feeling that he never quite understood the norms of clothing and social presentation and just wore whatever he wanted. In the case of the representation below, I can just see him saying, “Oh, I like red…red’s good…and purple’s not bad either,” then just sticking all of those colors on his face. His look veers close to the stylized make-up of certain formerly elegant old ladies, not really drag-like, but definitely bright and noticeable.

Me: “You do know that you look like a mime, right?”

Will: “Is that bad?”

Here is me messing around with a modified photo of a front view of Sabik.

The dolls on this site would eat the scads of sensitive vampires and angsty zombies over at DOA for lunch. Sardonix would probably make friends with them… I like them very much. They look much more appropriate to me than the procelain dolls that they were originally. Thanks to Bastet2329, I will direct my hostile urges toward stereotypical undead characters into creative endeavors…

UniDoll’s Limited UH-14 strongly attracts me. Her heavy eyelids and thoughtful, pouty lips give her a plush, romantic look enhanced by her creamy complexion. She’s been reminding me of an earlier doll, but I only put my finger on the resemblance just now. UH-14 looks like Soom Kyrie. Check out comparison pictures below.

I don’t have a problem with the resemblance at all. It’s nice to know that, if I really wanted a doll like UH-17, I could easily [and cheaply] get one similar by purchasing and modding a Kyrie.

http://www.sweetheartsdolls.com/Index.htm

The Martians’ clothes fit Elfdoll Hana….

This is what I said in a post to

batchix

  about the Den of Demons: 

Denver Doll Emporium: $350 + $???? domestic s/h only. Out of stock.

Elfdoll: $350 + $???? international s/h. In stock.

Dolls and Friends: $350 + $???? domestic s/h. “Preorder.”

Doll Peddlar: Same as Dolls & Friends.

Dolls to hack up for a set of Elfdoll Hana conjoined twins:

If I determine, through my own judgment, that a BJD company has committed plagiarism of another company’s designs, I can never support that company in any way again. Here is my list of permanently contaminated companies and why I can never touch them:

Eventually, I will pervert one, some or all of the following patterns:

Mouse: http://www.crochetville.org/forum/showthread.php?t=27075

Tiny teddy bear: http://www.mielkesfarm.com/teddy_pat.htm

Tiny sitting bear: http://www.craftbits.com/viewProject.do?projectID=1694

Nauseatingly cute little seals: http://www.critters2crochet.com/inde…ealpattern.htm

7″ bear: http://home.wideopenwest.com/~sag55/angelbear.html

Snail: http://www.fortheloveofyarn.com/Issues/Spring06/patterns/spring06_snail.shtml

Rabbit: http://ballostringdesigns.com/free/bunny.html

And a bunch of links to crocheting patterns here: http://www.myhq.com/public/c/r/crochetpoet/

I can make slippers out of cloth, I guess… http://www.fabricorigami.com/instructions.html 

I could probably make these, right? I mean, I can fold paper. HGTV has a link to origami shoes. Presumably these are for lazy asses like me who can’t sew…

EDIT: Another link, possibly clearer, since HGTV’s model baffles me: http://www.geocities.com/Rachel_Katz/folding/hh_shoe.htm

EDIT: Animated instructions with pictures for making zori: http://www.fudebakudo.com/en/zori.html

So Soom’s Mecha Angel’s name is Sabik, and he’s 80 cm tall, which puts him at 2.5 feet or 1.5 heads taller than Jareth and Frank. I do not want his body at all, but I really like his head. The combination of long cheeks, narrow eyes and a full mouth gives him a more mature look than other male dolls with similar features, like Dollshe Haund and Iplehouse Lion. To me he seems to have the facial frame of Haund [cheekbones, jawline], balanced with the features of Lion [large eyes, sensuous lips].

I really, really, really like the head, though he doesn’t look like any character that I want to make a doll of. Thus I have no excuse or strong motivation to get him beyond liking his head. Damn. I just don’t have extra room for a 2.5-foot doll to casually hang out in. Close-ups below.

Soom recently developed a tall, etoliated male [somewhere over 65 cm, I guess] named Mecha Angel. His slender limbs make him look like a preying mantis. But I can forgive a lot of bodily disproportions if I like the face. [For example, Frank has narrow shoulders, stick-like arms and fragile fingers, but I like him because of his fabulous face.] So far, as you can see below, Mecha Angel combines the usual Soom Pre-Raphaelite mouth with slender lines and large, liquid, expressive eyes. So, to my mind, it looks promising. I’d like to see close-ups…

This is more like a private notebook of reminders to myself. You just happen to see it.

Case in point: Here is me reminding myself what clothes are in the mail to me.

I have some Hound clothes — corset, blouse, vest, etc. — and SD girl clothes — mostly tops and skirts — for sale on DOA. I will also trade for long-sleeved shirts and pants for SD10/SD13 in neutral and/or conservative colors with conservative tailoring…or outrageous punky stuff, particularly in red or black. Please make it go away so I can buy stuff that my dolls will actually wear! Thank you.

Did you know that you can E-mail the US Dollmore dealer, order clothing and pay only US Priority s/h if you live in the US? Neato!

There’s a lot of sharing amongst my 1:3 crew. The 2 70 cms, Jareth and Frank, share pants. The 2 60 cms, Jennifer and Sardonix, can wear each other’s clothes, but have radically different styles. Since I have a lot of 60 cm shirts, skirts, dresses and socks, Jennifer, Sardonix and Frank share them. I would like to get Jennifer and Frank one or two basic pieces that are tailored specifically for them, though, hence the brainstorming below…

So I’m buying Sardonix yet another slightly used DollHeart outfit from a DOAer. This one is Kala. With a hat, a necklace, a blouse, a corset, an underdress, a sash, a pair of leggings, shoes and a turban, it provides many mix and match opportunities. I can’t really tell if all the blue parts are detachable from the cranberry-colored parts, but I think so. The bestest thing about this set is the shoes: red shoes with upturned toes and a slight heel. They look unusual and fanciful, all at the same time. I dislike the turban; I would have gone with an elaborate veil or snood. I can’t wait to run Hell Queen pieces together with Kala pieces. That should be fun…

As an aside, Kala was one of the many winners of DollHeart’s first design competition, but it’s been very unpopular. Many other designs have sold out, particularly in the EGL, goth/loli, punk lite or cutesy-wootsy animal genres. Yet Kala, distinguished from the hordes by its innovation [relatively speaking], was shunned by buyers. It’s disappointing to see that so many owners just seek the froofy or punk stuff. I’m surprised that Kala hasn’t sold out; I mean, wouldn’t it appeal to those who like Ye Olde Flowinge Fantasie And Renaissance Type Stuffe? I know it speaks to the YOFFARTS interest in me.

If I ever have a clothing line for dolls, I will call it YOFFARTS. Yo, farts!

Nobility Doll comes out with innovative articulation in its Full Operation Nobility Royma. This male doll has a double-jointed neck, so his head can cock and bow as well as swivel. He also has double-jointed elbows and knees, as well as double-jointed thighs. And he has a “genital joint” so you can make his penis go up or down. And something’s up with his nipples. The photos say “press papilla good feel,” which I assume means that they are squishy vinyl, like a Dollfie Dream torso or an Obitsu soft bust.

I really have to wonder…does anyone want these features? When I survey the majority of BJD owners, they list the following among things that they want: more mature male and female sculpts, a wider range of body types including super-emaciated and Rubenesque, poseable hands, bodies that are well-balanced and solid in posing, therianthropic sculpts [including animal heads, articulated wings, movable mermaid lower halves or dragon tails], casual clothes and shoes that real people wear, etc. Double-jointed necks, squeezy nipples and Amazing Swivel Penises [TM] are very low on the list of wants, if they appear at all. Maybe Nobility was just going for as many innovations as possible in one doll. 

Royma looks like David Bowie with the pointy nose and the pissy flat mouth. See headshots, nipple shots and Amazing Swivel Penis [TM] shots below.

I need to give Frank a haircut so his head doesn’t look so large.

Sardonix would like this. It’s an awesome flame bustier. She’d also like these red and black boots.

Even though I have Jareth, Frank and Jennifer at my disposal, I fidget with high anxiety because I want Sardonix to come home.

I’m getting DollHeart’s sold-out Hell Queen outfit from someone on DOA. I bought it with Sardonix in mind [how fitting for a succubus to be wearing an outfit by that name], but I foresee her fighting over it with Frank. Outfits with many pieces seem to be the best investment to me because they can be selected and recombined in many different ways. For example, Frank has already claimed the peignoir and stockings. Sardonix has already claimed corset, bloomers and frizzly sleeves. My BJD universe is uniformly baffled by the single goggle and the ridiculously small top hat.

So I watched Arthur and the Invisibles today, primarily for Freddie Highsmith [luminescent and likeable], Mia Farrow [beautiful and engaging] and David Bowie [all-around kick-ass]. Apart from basking in these stars’ displays of talent, there wasn’t much else to do during the film. Sure, there were roller-coaster battles and chases to watch, but the film had no sense of plot, pacing, character development or emotional attachment. It seemed like a pastiche of disparate elements: live aciton vs. animation; the sexy Princess Selenia [voiced by Madonna] vs. the innocent and prepubescent Arthur [Highsmith]; the fascinatingly detailed Minimoys world vs. the utterly bland story. To give you an idea of how unenthralling it was…the four-and-a-half-year-old watching it with me and my wife wanted to leave two-thirds of the way through.

On the plus side, there was DAVID BOWIE doing a Jarethian turn as the elegant, smooth and seductively evil Malthazard, MADONNA doing a physically assertive and hip-swaying, butt-kicking princess who’s the most active female character I’ve ever seen in a kids’ animated film, plus the Minimoys themselves, who looked like plastic dolls and whose elvin ears fluttered when they were happy.

I want to see Zoo because it sounds like an unusual treatment of bestiality. I do not want to see Teeth because it sounds like a stupid, stereotypical treatment of vagina dentata. I wonder how long I’ll have to wait before Sundance films hit either the theaters [hah!] or the video stores [more likely].

In other news, it’s “BESTIALITY,” people, not “BEASTIALITY.”

In even more other news, I still want to see Casino Royale and Arthur and the Invisibles. I’m curious about The Last Mimzy, which is coming out in March and which has an Escape to Witch Mountain atmosphere, especially from the trailer. Penelope, with a limited release in April, looks interesting, but will probably be a turd because Hollywood couldn’t do an affecting, realistic and powerful fairy tale even if Jack ZIpes walked them through the process. 

And don’t forget Spiderman 3 [hooray!], coming out in early May. And then there’s Shrek 3, the franchise juggernaut for which should be hung, drawn, quartered and pulverized on high speed in an industrial blender because it ran out of ideas and humor right around the end of Shrek 1. Also coming in May is Pirates of the Caribbean 3, which I’m sure will be a ponderous and thunderous headache of a movie, but which contains Johnny Depp and Keith Richards [!], so I might have to see it.

There’s a Nancy Drew [!] movie coming out in June, and it will probably be a neutered PG stinker.

See here. Adaptable for 1:6 and 1:3. Possible with only a gloo gun! Huzzah! Maybe I can make a skirt for Will…

Yesterday I went to see the long-awaited Pan’s Labyrinth, in which 10-year-old Ofelia exchanges the horrors of post-WWII Spain for the equally viscous horrors of her imagination. While her mother dies in childbed and her shinily sadistic stepfather shoots resistance fighters for sport, Ofelia turns to an ambiguous faun, who offers her the prospect of royalty in a dream world if she can complete three disgusting tasks.

For 99.9% of the movie, I liked it.

I ended up ditching the Zire/Palm keyboard combo in favor of a Clie + Clie keyboard, a cheaper set [$75 for both, including Documents to Go, which is the portable version of Word] with more technological advances. On the Clie, there is also a hard plug-in connection between PDA and keyboard, as opposed to the fiddly infrared sensor on the Zire/Palm keyboard set-up. Thank you to Super Todd, my landlord, who sold it to me.

Since last night I have been experimenting with data entry onto my new mini-‘puter. The cramped keys take some getting used to, but they’re responsive, requiring no pounding, so they’re not too hard on my hands. If I type quickly for an extended period of time, my wrists hurt, but they do that anyway with laptop or desktop boards. So far, my mini-‘puter appears to satisfy my need for light, compact, quickly accessible and comtaible word processing. Further updates as I continue testing.

Annette Curtis Klause has four weird, romantic YA fantasies to her credit. I especially like her first, the 1992 Silver Kiss, in which a mopey mortal gets it on with a broody vampire well before BTVS. [Check out the pallid beauty of the cover art. I’ll take a framed edition, thank you very much.] Later came Blood and Chocolate, a very sensual tale about a werewolf girl in love with a human boy and therefore in conflict with her pack. Great concept, right?

Not if the producers of Underworld [crashingly boring trilogy about vampires vs. werewolves] get their paws on it. Blood and Chocolate is now a movie, pusillanimously debuting in late January because the makers KNOW it’s a turd. Oh, it smells like a rotting carcass already…

Well, we know that crosses and garlic repel vampires, and silver bullets repel werewolves, but what effectively wards off evil film adaptations of good fantasy novels?

Used Palm Zire 31: $60. Thank you, craigslist.

Palm universal wireless keyboard from provantage.com: $48.48.

Total: $108.48.

Result: something better and more compatible than the Alphasmart Neo for less than half the price. Take THAT, Alphasmart! I thought you were cheap, but your prices are clearly inflated. Look at my smart little back-lit cheapo computer with several MB of memory and more than 4 lines of text and an almost laptop-size keyboard. You are not as good as that. Weep for shame. WEEP!

Alternatively, I could get a portable folding keyboard [Pocketop] and a cheap PDA. Pocketop keyboard for $20 here. Cheap, universal, but has small keys. Palm universal wireless keyboard here at $40. Keys small for extensive typing? More expensive infrared keyboard for $45 here. Nice size, but more small moving parts, stupid non-locking hinge.

Introducing the latest tag, “writing,” which covers my Sarah and Milly story [formerly tagged “nanowrimo,” which it no longer is right now] and any other dreck I spew out.

I have a novel to write, but I dislike typing it onto my home desktop computer. First, I spend all day at my job at a desktop, so spending more time in front of another desktop is the last thing I want to do. Second, the large screen size of the desktop monopolizes my vision, allowing me no chance to look at anything interesting or restful besides the screen. Third, the desktop limits me to one place, at my desk, in my chair. It’s not portable.

I have several alternatives. One of them is a notebook, a regular paper notebook. A notebook is good because it provides variation [not staring at another big screen], no monopoly on my vision and portability, it increases the amount of time I spend writing because I think have to transfer the writing to the computer by banging it out on the keys. So basically handwriting only staves off the inevitable suffering of using the desktop. I don’t want to stave it off. I want to avoid it as much as possible.

Another alternative is a laptop computer. A laptop computer is good because it provides variation, no monopoly on my vision and compatibility with the desktop. However, I want something light and easy to carry to work and on trips. A laptop is too heavy and fragile, not to mention uselessly complicated. I don’t need huge amounts of memory or great programs. I just want to enter text and then transfer it to my desktop.

Another alternative is a handheld with a fold-out keyboard. This would be good because it provides variation, portability and ease of use. But it is too complicated and fragile, and the screen would be too small.

The final option, the Alphasmart Neo, is what I want to go with. It’s a small, light, durable word processor with a full-size keyboard and a 6-lines-of-text screen. it has a small amount of memory and can communicate with my desktop via USB cord. It doesn’t figure my taxes or connect to the Internet. It just holds medium-sized text files. That’s all I want. I don’t want to handwrite my stories. I’m saving manuscript for my diary [except on those rare occasions when I forget it and have to type up and print out an entry, then paste it in].

Lookit how cheap they are!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must return to manuscripting my latest outline because I do not have an Alphasmart Neo yet.

With sections on vampires, werewolves, demons, etc., Queer Horror [http://www.queerhorror.com] appears to be a comprehensive overview of queer characters and themes in various media, well worth a long look when I have some time. Mmmm, queer vampires…

And he plays an evil arachnid. Arthur and the Invisibles is animated, but previews show that the Malthazard character maps very well onto DB’s facial expressions. Whooooooooo hoo!

Read gory stories of crime and mayhem here at http://www.crimelibrary.com. My favorite case, the 1955 matricide perpetrated by Pauline Rieper and Juliet Hulme [inspiration for the movie Heavenly Creatures], has a nice overview on this site. Lots of fun reading for vacation…

My 1:6 collection is drastically reducing. I successfully got rid of 90% of my parts bin and some miscellaneous food this week. Later I will get rid of some pink [gaaaaack] furniture and whole dolls. If all goes well, I should have <15 dolls hanging out at home. [I’m not including dolls at work. Maybe I should bring more to work. I currently have 4 1:6ers and 1 action figure.]

My 1:3 population is planning to increase. If all goes well, SARDONIX [remember her?] will be back. I should be getting a 2006 Luts Juri head [picture], which I want to put on a Domuya Flexi girl body [picture]. This time, I plan to leave her unpainted and unwigged so that I can show off her construction and articulation. In this incarnation, she will be less of a hellish succubus and more of a devilish cyborg. She will have antennae coming off the points of her ears. I’d also like to put a small watch in one of her eye sockets and a “control panel” in her abdomen.

Coming out on January 5, 2007, Happily N’Ever After contains an interesting premise — a fairy tale rewrite in which Cinderella leads resistance against her evil stepmom who’s trying to take over — as well as two people we know to be talented actors, Sigourney Weaver and Sarah Michelle Gellar. But it will be horrible.

Do you know why it will be horrible? Well, first of all, the presence of both SMG and her husband Freddy Prinze Jr. tells you that it will tank. Despite possessing talent, the two have no business and career acumen, as evidenced by their previous collaborations Scooby Doo I and II. [In fact, SMG’s entire movie career, like Tim Curry’s, is pretty much a string of disappointments, and I think they both need really smart agents to get them in showcases for their special gifts, but I digress.]

Second of all, the producers of Shrek are behind this one. Now, for all that I laughed when I saw Shrek I [not II or III so much], I don’t think that it was as attractive or subversive as people claim. The franchise tries too hard to be clever, but it just ends up reinforcing stupid gender and sexual stereotypes. I smell the same problem emanating from Happily N’Ever After, particularly in its problematic recycling of characters from Shrek. That purple cat thing in HNA looks like Donkey, while the blond prince in HNA looks like the blond prince in Shrek, and even Ella in HNA reminds me of Fiona. Such uncreative recycling cannot be saved even by the flamboyant evil genius of Sigourney Weaver and any acting talent SMG may happen to evince.

I feel sad for SMG. BTVS provided such a star vehicle and showcase for her, but her brainless career choices since then slide her further into disrepute. I respect her acting talent, but I can’t respect her as a person because she’s really not that smart. She strikes me as someone with talents who doesn’t know how to use them, rather than an artist that has knowledge and craft of his or her art. She stands in opposition to David Bowie, who [besides having way more experience than she does] just emanates wit, intelligence, insight and a dry sense of humor in relation to his art. He would be a perfect example of an exemplary celebrity, except that he smokes.

In further explication of my thoughts on season 5, I have to say that I started watching BTVS with season 6. The first part of 6, during which Buffy tries to deal with her resurrection, has always fascinated me for its nuanced depiction of her grief cycle. People tell me that The Body is the single best BTVS ep about grief. I wouldn’t know; I haven’t seen it [yet], but I have to say that all the mooding, brooding and grieving in the early part of 6 sound psychologically convincing and revealing notes. As we watch all the characters deal with Buffy’s death, absence and rebirth, the specter of death, always a presence in a series about the undead, becomes real, substantive and irrevocable. For such a fantastical premise [dead one comes back], this story arc is the most realistic and compelling of all the BTVS arcs for me, which probably demonstrates more about me and my preoccupations with death, mourning, grief, maturation, cemeteries, memories, vampires, ghosts, epitaphs than it does about BTVS itself.

So, if 6 is the high point for me, I like 2, 3 and 4 next best, but I really dislike 1 and 7. 1, a short, experimental season, provides only glimmers of the juicy richness that the show would later develop into. Plus there’s no Spike, so I ignore it. And I am currently refusing to watch 7. I don’t want to see Buffy as a motivational speaker to the Potentials; I don’t want to see Willow basically squashed, mousy and regressed after 6’s drama; and I don’t want to see Spike die. I don’t care that he comes back in 5 of Angel. I don’t want to see him die! I’m just pretending 6 is the end, okay? La la la, I’m not listening to you….

So, in answer to the comments, I like Spike too anyway, abbagirl, and the icon is hilarious. :p

LoreMistress, I recommend watching well past 4 and into 6, but avoiding 7. In other words, don’t break off. In my opinion, some of the best eps are coming up.

RedCountess, having read tons of synopses and analyses, I agree that you have a point about the development of Buffy + Spike over time. I still maintain that Crush and Intervention crank up the schmoopiness at the expense of the characters’ personalities. I have no problem with them having a relationship; I just wish that the portrayal in those two eps was true to the characters.

And a link to my favorite BTVS site, a critical journal of “Buffy studies” with an archive of meaty analyses of all things BTVS.

I finally broke out the BTVS DVDs last night. Having watched bits of 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6, but no 5 or 7, I delved into season 5. I wanted to investigate the beginnings of Buffy and Spike’s twisted affection for each other, before it became the season 6 tango of revulsion. To that end, I checked out Crush, in which Spike has one on Buffy, and Intervention, in which the BuffyBot makes its first appearance to satisfy the lovelorn Spike.

Wow, those eps were flaccid! The repartee, linguistic inventiveness and deep emotional responses that I associate with BTVS just didn’t exist in these eps, even though they were supposedly about lerve. The characters appeared brainwashed, with Spike saying, “I lerve you; I suffer for you,” and Buffy saying, “Bleeecccch,” like zombies of pop song lerve rather than consistent, multi-dimensional characters. It wasn’t funny; it wasn’t interesting; it wasn’t in character. It was just really painful and boring to watch.

The only moment in which the true characters surfaced was at the end of Intervention, when Buffy acted like the willing BuffyBot because she was trying to determine if Spike, under torture, had told Glory that Dawn was the Key. So Buffy plays the willing sex slave until she gets the info [e.g., that Spike kept Dawn’s secret]; then she switches back to herself and leaves him. Both Buffy and Spike seemed incredibly sad and regretful in this scene, Spike probably because his dedication got him pounded and plus his robot’s gone, Buffy because she realized the depths of Spike’s infatuation and then played along with it for a bit. Buffy’s ambivalence toward Spike [heartless manipulation and reluctant gratitude] and his ambivalence toward her [slavish crush and violent, stupid frustration] are transmitted clearly without platitudes. The truth comes through: their relationship isn’t pursuing guy vs. retreating girl, but squeamishly fascinated guy vs. squeamishly fascinated girl, a theme developed much better in season 6.

So, anyway, I’ve found the perfect application for the word schmoopy: season 5 Spike. Oh, how drab and disappointing. I’ll take the characterologically consistent season 6 Spike instead. Stereotypically pining vampires make me want to vomit vomit vomit. If I ever write about them, someone please shoot them.

LHF is back! See the latest ep here.

In other news, I have a few more comics to recommend.

Kawaii Not juxtaposes cute little fruits, tuna cans, farts, etc., with silly or unexpected text. It is very amusing.

Wondermark juxtaposes Victorian clip art with digressive, erudite dialog. I enjoy its absurdity, which is a balm to my soul since Alien Loves Predator stopped being funny a while ago.

…are on order [again]. Maybe they’ll actually come this time, and I can hold them in my hands. I don’t really want to watch them right now. I just want to have them in case I want to watch them [particularly the eps where Spike is tied up in Giles’ basement or using the BuffyBot — hilarious].

A Jareth action fig, sculpted by NECA, debuts in March 2007. I saw the news here. Maybe this will compensate for the canceled Palisades 12″; I’ve heard that NECA sculpts are very detailed and realistic. I still wanted a 1:6 mass-produced Jareth, though. No pictures yet, but I’ll post ’em when I have ’em.

I found a great site for some free TV: http://www.dailymotion.com

Over there I’ve been watching many hours of two shows. One is House, which is, of course, about a brilliant asshole doctor, medical mysteries and his untermensch staff. This show really tries to be a medical show or some sort of procedural [like Law & Order in the hospital] or even a drama, but it really is a comedy at base. The stock plot — dramatic falling ill, weird symptoms, doubting co-workers, brilliant deductions by House, diagnoses + fascinating/revealing/icky revelations about the sufferers involved — are so fixed that I don’t notice them, although I do like to see what weird disease cocktail the writers think up next. Plot aside, the show basically consists of House proving what a genius he is and making fun of other people. Since he’s always completely vindicated, despite his momentary hang-ups, his triumphant conclusions are never in doubt, so I just go along for the ride, laughing mostly at the character’s ruthlessness and arrogance. Laurie’s long resume as a comic actor serves him well here, as his expressions add hilarious nuances to his condescending remarks. So basically House is an hour of a magnificent bastard making faces. Being a sucker for magnificent bastards, especially when they make faces, I really enjoy this show.

The other show that I’ve caught up on is Heroes. Like a comic book in TV form, it tracks the slowly interlocking story of a bunch of adolescents and post-adolescents who have superpowers. This show leaves me emotionally unegaged [except for the story involving the cheerleader, realistically and engaging played by Hayden Panetierre, and her evil dad] and the creators can’t really create strong female characters. However, I really enjoy the leisurely way in which the stories unfold, then slowly interlock. The show’s structure, suspense and clean use of comic tropes pulls me in. Although they could do without the pretentious beginning and ending narration.  

I also tried watching some Smallville season 6, but so far it’s a big fat turd without much soapiness to make for enjoyably slumworthy viewing. There’s also some Gilmore Girls up there, for those interested. AND LOTS OF SOUTH PARK!

Now I just have to find me some Supernatural [available on dailymotion.com, but in French dub] and, of course, BTVS! 

EDIT: You can find the latest eps of some primetime NBC shows on their Web site: http://www.nbc.com . Beware, though — there’s nothing beyond the latest ep, and each ep appears in 5 chunks of 8 minutes. I do have more success loading NBC shows than I do with ABC shows, though.

First off, my NaNo word count total is greater than 50474. It’s closer to 51272. Would you believe that I forgot to count a whole day’s production in my final tally? Anyhow, NaNo won’t let me update my word count, now that I’ve won, so I’m just making that note here.

Secondly, I gave my opus a cursory read-through (all 110, single-spaced, 12-point pages of it) this morning. So far the characters seem consistent, engaging and well differentiated, each with distinctive voices (very important when most of the story is just them talking). The overall setting (Boston area) comes through clearly, although I need to work on the setting of specific scenes. (I tend to get caught up in the dialog to the neglect of the setting.) The tone, for the most part, is consistent; though the story starts out light and comic, then moves toward a more thoughtful middle, Sarah’s melodramatic, sarcastic, slightly pedantic and wry voice remains the same throughout, which gives the tone some continuity. Despite its small focus on two or three people, it feels like a busy active novel, not overstuffed, but realistically populated with primary, secondary and tertiary players. (All that work on the backstories of bit players in Sarah’s life pays off, I guess!)

In summary, I’m proud of myself for having reached the NaNo goal. I’m also proud of myself for producing a substantive, compelling part of a story that I still like and want to write, even though I’ve been eating, breathing and sleeping it for the past three and a half weeks. In other words, NaNo helped me gain a lot of ground on a promising project, one that I think could actually go somewhere [maybe to a publishing house].

My final word count for the NaNo project is 50474. I’m very proud of me. I’m also very tired. We now return to our regularly scheduled lives, thank GAWD.

Those of you that have given me encouragement, especially damsel_ophelia, twigling, brennil, donals_girl and Rampant Bicycle, I salute your persistent compliments. Far more than any coffee (pictured in the miniature winner’s certificate), the accolades from you guys motivated me, giving me a great incentive to work as hard as I could on this project. Thank you very much! Also thank you to Jareth, Frank, Jennifer and my new computer.

Updates on Sarah, Milly and the hordes will continue because the story is only about half over. Updates, however, will appear on a much less INSANE schedule, spaced out over months, rather than days. For the next few days in November, I’m not writing any fiction at all because I’m freeeeeeeee. I will enjoy a vacation from my cacoethes scribendi until I need to cough up season 9 of Love Has Fangs. [Oh yeahhhhh…you remember that, doncha?]

NaNo counter says I’m at 48704, which means 1296 to go!

Official NaNo counter say 47396, which means 2604 words to go.

I’m at a momentous point in my story. I’ve just finished writing a first draft of the most emotionally charged scene [climax?] in which Sarah and Milly have some sexual action, then break off when Milly makes her not-so-disastrous revelation.

The sexual scene between Sarah and Milly works out pretty well, if I do say so myself. Sexually charged scenes are always difficult for me to write, which means that I often shear off before the characters get too close physically. However, sex scenes can also reveal a lot about the characters because they are in a moment of great intimacy, so sexual actions can be extremely effective tools for character development. That said, the trick is to write sex convincingly.

A 10-year-old article in the Associated Writing Programs Chronicle (May/Summer 1996), entitled “A Sex Scene is Not a Sex Manual and Other Basic Principles,” by Elizabeth Benedict, forms my guide for writing good sex scenes. This is her list of general principles, quoted verbatim.

According to the NaNo counter, I have 46475/50000, or 92.95%. I have only 3525 words left. At the rate I am going, that’s one day’s work if I push myself to the point of hemorrhaging, but three days’ work at the absolute maximum if I take it leisurely.

Finally, I’m in the midst of miserable Milly revealing her secret, which is not so miserable, to surprised Sarah. Sarah is puzzled; Milly is convinced that she’s loathsome. Both of them have a lot to learn. I am nowhere near done with this!

…that I’m currently on an even 45000. I wanted to get more than 1989 words written today by this point, but I had to stop for a few hours and do some research. Sarah was telling Milly one of her stories from her Latin-teaching days. Thus I had to research Caesar’s Gallic Wars, Vercingetorix’ rebellion and Celtic/Gallic mythology so I could create a halfway convincing tale for Sarah to tell.

Okay, back to the keyboard… With the research-laden portion of this scene done, I should move a bit more rapidly.

43011 by the NaNo counter!  That’s 86.02% complete.

I have just 6989 words left. I plan to write as much as possible this weekend in the hope of finishing early.

…says that I have 42900/50000, which is 85.8%. With only 7100 words left, I feel as if I am easily coasting down a hill, speeding faster and faster past significant numerical milestones. With each day, I approach closer to the end of the project. I also find it very easy to hit my minimum word count, even to supersede it.  I am motivated not only by exciting scenes that are fun and easy to write, but also by a gigantic desire to hit 50000 words and be done with this project FOREVER. I think the desire to get it out of my life [NaNo, not the novel] provides a stronger inducement than the actual story itself. :p

I’m gonna go write some more, at least making it a nice round 43000….

With 2777 total for today, I’m at 41815/50000, or 83.63%.

Sarah and Milly are talking about Milly’s “drag queen” doll. Sarah correctly perceives it as the most important doll in Milly’s collection, which disturbs Milly deeply.

I have done 2001 words so far today, for a total of 41039/50000, or 82.08%. Right now that leaves me 6 days of 1494 a day to hit the 50000 mark.

Right now Sarah and Milly are having a tea party as a prelude to the Monkey Wrench scene. Speaking as a doll collector, I must say that Milly’s apartment, with a range of dolls from all sizes, countries and purposes, is pretty damn cool. Since I really want to write this scene, it flows more easily from my fingers than scenes that I don’t want to write so much. I have overcome the T-giving lethargy, much to my relief.

I will try cranking out some more words later today so that I can get ahead. I wonder if I could even [gasp!] finish NaNo a day early or so.

Today’s word count is 1322, for a total of 39038/50000, or 78.07%. Tomorrow I write the Monkey Wrench scene.

I’m at 977 words total so far, which leaves me 313 for later in the day after I get back from T-giving festivities.

I wrote 246 words to go toward Thanksgiving’s totals.  I have 1290 left to go for tomorrow. Why is it such a chore?

I’ve been doing my word counting inconsistently. At first I put each day’s output in a separate file, then added the days’ totals up as I went along. But I have also been keeping one continuous document of every day’s output sequentially. Sometimes I have drawn from that for my word counting.

Most recently I’ve been adding a single day’s numbers to my running total, NOT using the continuous document. Just for the heck of it, I decided to paste everything I’ve written so far into the continuous document and check the word count of that.

I thought I had written 36296.

Open Office’s word counter says 38156.

Word’s word counter says 37719.

NaNo’s official word counter says 37716. Amusingly enough, the NaNo Web site says that the official word counter errs on the generous side.

Anyway, going with NaNo’s conservative estimate, I’ve written 1420 more words than I originally calculated. That brings me effortlessly to 37716/50000, or 75.4% complete.

Let me repeat that so that you can grasp the import of this. I’m over 3/4 of the way done [with the NaNo word count — not addressing the entire novel here]! I’m also ahead of schedule because I have 8 writing days (11/23, 11/24, 11/25, 11/26, 11/27, 11/28, 11/29, 11/30) left, or over 1/4 of the time.

I’m not going to write any more tonight because I really don’t have any motivation. I had to force myself to do job-related work and NaNo-related work today. I have lost much of my concentration due to the excitement and interruption of a day off which is kind of in the middle of the week. I will therefore rest my brain until tomorrow, when I may have more energy to tackle challenging and climactic scenes.

Have a happy T-giving, if you celebrate it.

At 593 words for today already (it being a slow day at work), I have currently hit 35321, or 70.64%! 14679 words to do, at 1631 per day [including today] until the end. I must write as much as I can today before Thanksgiving tomorrow.

EDIT, 1:03 PM: So today’s goal is 593 + 1631 = 2224. I’m at 1479 now, which means just 745 more to go. Sarah and Jasmira, finally reconciling after their fight, have returned to their usual snarky banter. On Jasmira’s end, the conflict with her boyfriend Devon deepens. Though Sarah and Jasmira are getting along, soon all hell will break loose in Sarah’s life with the dreaded Monkey Wrench Scene! Why yes, I do enjoy making my characters suffer.

Special thanks to damsel_ophelia, donals_girl and LoreMistress for frequent cheerleading as I draw nearer to my goal. A simple comment adds a lot to my motivation.

EDIT, 2:56 PM: I’m at 1935 now. I need to post these updates because I am really not very motivated right now. My goal is to write at least 289 more words today and then even more so I can maybe take a day off for Thanksgiving.

I’m not sure how much time I’ll have this evening, so I’m posting latest stats. I’ve done 1906 today, which brings me up to 34361/50000, or 68.72%. I’m so close to 35,000 (639 words) that I can taste it, but I hit a natural scene break. If I do have more time today, I will definitely hit 35,000, which will leave me with 15,000 left, at an utterly manageable 1,667 words per day till the end of the month.

EDIT, 6:17 PM: 2273!!! 272 to go to 35000! …I ended up leaving 2273 as my total for the day. That means a current word total of 34728, or 69.46%.

My l33t skillz brought me 2262 words today! My total is currently 32455/50000, or 64.91%. The jury is out about whether I will reach the NaNo goal. A lot depends on my word production during Turkey Day festivities. But I feel satisfied with my progress and, most of all, with the amount of work that I have gotten done on Sarah’s novel, word limit or no.

The story feels like it’s around halfway done, maybe a little less. I have 1.5, maybe 2, more scenes before I get to the CLIMAX…or the Monkey Wrench in Sarah’s Happiness. So I’m moving along at a steady clip. I think my word counts are going up because I really look forward to writing the Monkey Wrench scene.

537 words during lunch.

2166 so far today, for 30193/50000, or 60.39%! Sarah and Milly’s first date, partly in summary, partly not, took much longer than I anticipated. They are now done and firmly within infatuation, if they weren’t before.

I may make it to 50000 after all! I’ve been increasingly hopeful as my word counts have increased, but I’m still not sure. Anyway, I have made substantive progress on my story, and I think I’ll write a bit more, since I have the time, just to see how far I can go.

Goal: 1000 more words! I can do it!

EDIT, 8:30 PM: VICTORY DANCE!! I did a total of 3252 today, or 31279/50000, for a final percentage of 62.56%!!

Today I did 1843, for a total of 28027/50000, or 56.05%.

1778 today, for a total of 26184/50000, or 53.63%.

Sarah’s talking to her sister again. Sometimes I think that the themes of sexual orientation, job frustration and romantic prospects are outweighed by the introversion vs. extroversion theme so neatly illustrated by Sarah and Jasmira.

649 during lunch today. Time for some plot-propelling summary so that the story just ain’t conversation after conversation.

And I did treat myself to something nice last night…I went to bed. :p

1776 words today, for a total of 25036/50000, or 50.07%!! I accomplished today’s goal and also finished the scene that really gets Sarah and Milly’s friendship rolling…. I’ve been very busy today, and now it is time for bed because I must have enough sleep to accomplish this weekend’s grandiose writing plans.

594 during lunch today. The conversation between Sarah and Milly picks up its humorous bent, which makes writing easier.

EDIT: Today’s goal is to make it to at least 25000 words, or 50%!

I did 1661 today, for a total of 23260/50000, or 46.52%!

Today the NaNo project concludes its 15th day, so I have officially passed the halfway mark in terms of time. I should pass the halfway mark (25000 words) later this week.

I finally got a thread for Sarah and Milly’s second conversation. Milly’s taking it into some unexpected and surprisingly personal depths…not gushy and overinformative, because she’s a refined lady, but definitely heartfelt.

I did 1318 today, for a total of 21599/50000, or 43.2%.

I also ran into my first block [still no idea for Sarah and Milly’s second conversation or first date], so I felt rather resentful to the story for the first time. My block frustrates me because I need some planning time, but I only have enough time to write, not plan. While I have the questions lurking in the back of my mind, their lack of answer pisses me off because I need answers now. Then I skipped out of the chronological order to start a scene where Sarah asks her boss for more work.

Exactly two weeks into NaNoWriMo, I feel accomplished, but also tired. I can’t wait until the project ends, and I can go back to doing other things besides writing.

I did 1218 yesterday and 1221 today, but my word counter is all messed up, so I should be at 20281/50000, or 40.56%. While daily word limits do give me finite goals, I don’t work best with such arbitrary limits. I work better when I follow the flow and breaks of the story, e.g., stopping to rest at the end of scenes, chapters or climactic points, rather than when I reach a certain word limit. Anyway, I’m not really keen on word limits, so, when this project is over, I will probably retain a low minimum [~500 words a day, you lazy bastard!], but not maximums.

I’m at 20000+ words, but I’m nowhere near 40% done with the story. In fact, when I look at my outline, I’m just about 20%, maybe 25%, of the way through. Either my story is a big one, or 50000 is a small novel.

Sarah is gearing up to talk to Milly for the second time in prep for a third and juicier conversation. I’m trying to figure out what they are going to say to each other….

I did 1513 words today, for 17842/50000, which is 35.68%.

Sarah is talking to two of her friends who live in the same building, so we have an expose on her squalid garrett and her eccentric friends. Everyone in the story is eccentric, which, interestingly enough, makes it more realistic.

Good thing I wrote a lot during lunch because I’m busy tonight so I will not have time to write. I accomplished 1262 words today, which brings me to a total of 16329/50000, which is 32.6%.

Sarah is walking home, which means engrossing and depressing description of her small, expensive apartment and apartment building. Conversation with her non-Milly friend and the non-Milly friend’s boyfriend later about, of course, Milly. Everyone except Sarah appears to be paired off in this story [well, except her boss, but he’s too obnoxious to rate a significant other]. Sarah should find this nauseating…

I did 1003 words during lunch, which is great because I’m bizzy this evening.

Only 1245 words today. That’s 15067/50000 total, or 30.13%. I would like to spend more time writing tonight because Sarah is talking to a secondary character who, unexpectedly, developed a personality and a plot-futhering purpose, but I have two overdue book reviews, so I will work on them now and maybe do more intensive writing this weekend [hahahah!].

I must investigate this more thoroughly when I have time. Apparently there’s software out there that will take much of the layout, wailing and gnashing of teeth out of constructing LHF every week.

Comic Book Creator. For PCs. 

Comic Life. For Macs.

1331 words total today!

That’s 13822/50000 done, or 27.64%. I’m consistently beating my 1200 goal!

I’m still working on the scene at Sarah’s work where she basically mopes. It did contain just a lot of dumped information about the company, but I added a narrative hook in the beginning where she argues with her boss about the menial and tedious job she’s doing. I think her boss is overdone in his flamboyant annoyingness. However, it’s just a rough draft and therefore a chance for me to express my own frustration with any past bosses, so there. :p

Yay, 423 words during lunch today! 777 more to go for my daily goal.

Now that I’m getting into the meat of Sarah’s job, I find that I need a basic Latin textbook. In her job, she is doing light edits on a first-level Latin text, and I need one for guidance…also because most of my Latin has evacuated my head. 🙁

1395 words total today!

I have a total of 12491/50000 done, or 24.98%.

My new goal seems to be working well. “How about upping the stakes?” as Jareth would say. I’ll try 1200 as a goal for a while longer, through Friday. Then I think I’ll increase the daily goal to 1450 or so.

I’m just coasting right now on material largely developed before NaNoWriMo starting: description of Sarah’s workplace and coworkers. Since she spends a lot of time there, I need some sketches of more than just the queer coworkers. Plus she’s brooding, which is a good excuse for her to wander around and procrastinate…

528 words!

I have decided that my new daily goal is 1200 words, so I’m 672 shy of the day’s goal.

And now back to the other work…

I took a leisurely amount of time yesterday to read everything I had written so far. Despite earlier misgivings, I discovered that Sarah did NOT come across as critical and negative as assumed. While whiny, melodramatic and pessimistic, she balances these traits with a very dry sense of humor, keen pyschological observations and an appreciation for beautiful details.

I also worried about the style of this story. Unlike everything else I’ve ever written, this story digresses. As narrator, Sarah is constantly telling stories aside from the main one. Her digressions may be just a sentence long, but they usually run for paragraphs or even pages. I feared that her speechifying would kill the forward momentum of the plot.

Not so. In fact, Sarah’s stories seem to work to positive effect. Because she interprets even the simplest lines of dialog, you get a clear idea of how her mind works, what she desires and what her social world is like, though she is interacting with only a few characters. All of her stories contribute to the development of the cast and the situation so, in my view at least, they make her more sympathetic and more interesting.

1331 so far today for a total of 11906/50000 = 23.8% done. Thanks for the input, Loremistress of Rampant Bicycle. I too think that a smaller quota would be better for me, my characters and my family. 😀

I’m at 9765 words, which is 19.5% done. It’s also 150 ahead of schedule.

I’m very ambivalent about the project right now. Almost 2000 words a day takes up almost all of my time. Writing becomes a chore that I resent, rather than an exhilarating project that challenges me. Well, meeting exigent word limits challenges me, but my excitement and creativity suffer greatly.

I am seriously considering dropping my word limit to something more attainable, but still challenging, like 1200 words or so, for the month of November. I clearly won’t hit 50000 words, but I will participate in the mind-altering fun of NaNo, but without self-flagellation.

Any opinions?

Doll meet and movie yesterday interfered with my word count. Darn fun…taking me away from the business of writing! I have discovered that 1923 words a day leaves me little time to do anything else besides eat, sleep, work and exercise. 1000 words a day is much more feasible, a saner alternative for me if I want to sustain my dedication as a writer and not burn out.

Yesterday I did 1547 words, which left me 376 words short of the day’s goal. However, since I’ve written a few extra words over the past few days — 137 to be exact — I’m really at 1684 for day 4, which leaves me only 239 words in the hole.

7453/50000 = 14.9% completed.

Sarah’s on the verge of meeting Milly, while the story hasn’t decided whether it is a romance or a Bildungsroman…or both. Whatever it is, it appears too sarcastic and leisurely to be chick lit.

EDIT: Now I’m out of the hole…added some description of why Sarah moved to Boston [to get away from the family!!]. 220 words so far counting toward today’s quota. 1703 to go!

So tired and unmotivated…yet I have completed 5906/50000. Too lazy to figger out percentage. Must…sleep…

Hooray! 476 words during lunch today. 1447 to go until I reach today’s goal.

Clearly my lunch-time productivity is bottoming out. However, I don’t care that much. The whole point of writing during lunch is to break up my blocks of writing time. Instead of getting home and pounding on the computer for 4 solid hours, I do 1 hour of writing at work and lessen the time spent before the screen at home.

Now it’s time for Sarah and Jasmira’s conversation…the first of the novel, so it should set the tone, illustrating their closeness and sympathy, as well as their constant competition and difficulty in truly understanding the other.

It’ll be a snap!! :p

Okay, 2010 words completed today. That’s a total of 3981 so far out of 50000, or 7.92% completed!

Sarah finally got on the phone with Jasmira, her twin sister, and Devon, her sister’s boyfriend. We finally are getting into the meat of the story, like Sarah’s loneliness, Sarah’s constant comparisons between herself and Jasmira and, of course, her own wishes for a significant other.

All my verbosity is finally paying off…getting a better idea of characters, setting and such in action. Maybe, after I do that, the events will happen quicker.

Argle bargle nargle ZOUSE!!!

EDIT: My word counter and NaNo’s are in disagreement by some 50 words, so I’ll just be sticking with mine for now and checking NaNo’s every 7 days.

669 words during lunch. 1254 to go for today!

Ladies and gentlemen, Sarah has left the building. Thank GAWD…took long enough. I fail to see how this story is going to get ANYWHERE in 50000 words, but I think I am just suffering from beginner’s myopia.

Off to crack my neck…

That is, of course, French for “yippee.” I reached today’s goal. I did 1971 words. 48029 to go! And I’m ahead of schedule!

For the record…my goal took about three single-spaced pages in 11-point Times New Roman. it also took me about 3 to 3.5 hours, including some time staaaaaaaaring at the computer screen.

Thanks to batchix and the Loremistress for early encouragement. I will keep you in mind as a reader, LM, once this atrocious draft gets banged into more acceptable shape.

Note to self: NOTHING HAPPENS in 1971 words. It’s been about 10 minutes and Sarah is still leaving work. Of course she’s saying bye to coworkers, but still…she digresses a lot. Darn loquacious erudite narrator…

Forthwith the NaNoWriMo minutiae! Got out all my documents [character sketches, Sarah’s local calendar, list of plot events], then realized that 2 of the docs [calendar and plot] didn’t open on Word because they are Open Office, which is foreign to Word, even though OO nicely opens Word files. How annoying.

Undaunted, I pushed on to…stare at the blank screen. After dwelling with Sarah, Milly, Jasmira, Devon and everyone for over a year, I’ve grown to know them intimately. But how should I start writing, actually inscribing, about them? How can I commit these full-rounded characters to a fixed form on paper that will limit their glorious multi-dimensionality?

Answer: Just write, you perfectionist. You’re making a rough draft. You can clean it up later. The point is to take advantage of this contest and its deadline, forcing yourself to finish the story that you have so painstakingly planned.

During my lunch break, I wrote, stared, fumbled. Still getting a feel for my characters in action, I made Sarah sound like a prickly bitch… There’s a fine edge between sarcastically humorous and crabby. Unfortunately, I’m not sure where it is so I trip over it frequently.

780/1923 words done for today. 1143 more to go.

Soon I will get into my groove, and the words will come much easier. Starting off is always a challenge.

Who’s reading this drivel???

My neck and shoulders continue to hurt. [Pain started yesterday, even before I starting banging on the keys.] Let this be a reminder to stretch frequently, contort myself away from the computer and drink lots of water while resting les yeux.

Hmmm, maybe I should stop whingeing about the lack of BTVS in my life and just get the damn DVDs already.

New for this list:

Some high-quality lights for taking pictures

A good table that goes flush against the wall and doesn’t wobble for taking pictures

A bigger apartment

A blond wig for Jennifer

A pink wig for Jennifer

OrientDoll Wol $219.00

Previous wants:

Romantic Uyoo Angel: $238.00 Used open-eyed one instead.

Veronica Mars, season 1: $60.00 Got it.

Veronica Mars, season 2: $60.00 Don’t like it THAT much.

Supernatural, season 1: $60.00

Smallville, season 5: $60.00

Arthur Spiderwick’s Guide to the Fantastical World Around You: $24.95

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7): $220.00

Twilight Zone Season 1: $96.00

Twilight Zone Season 2: $80.00

Twilight Zone Season 3: $90.00

Twilight Zone Season 4: $90.00

Twilight Zone Season 5: $80.00 

Mirror Mask: $26.96 Got it.

a flatscreen monitor from newegg.com Got a new computer.

a laptop cooling board from newegg.com

a love seat Got it.

foamcore for mounting LHF backdrops Got it.

a bulletin board Got it.

Howdy, all 2 of my loyal fans [not including my heavily biased groupies…you know who you are]. I’m participating in National Novel Writing Month starting tomorrow. To that end, I’ve prepared detailed plans for the novel. 

Now come the detailed plans for actually writing it within the NaNoWriMo framework, which is….50,000 words of fiction to be written between the beginning of November [my time zone] and the end of November [my time zone].

50,000 words / 30 days of November = 1,667 [rounded up from 1,666.66666 repeating] words a day.

However, we have to account for a) Thanksgiving, b) sickness, c) insanity and d) sheer bodily fatigue. Therefore I need to have the equivalent of some weekends in this project.

30 days of November – 4 sick days = 26 writing days.

50,000 words / 26 writing days = 1,923 words a day.

I’m starting off with an aggressive goal of 1,923 words a day for week one [11/1 through 11/7], which should earn me almost 1 sick day.

Day 1 Goal: 1,923 done, 48,077 left.
Day 2 Goal: 3,846 done, 46,154 left.
Day 3 Goal: 5,769 done, 44,231 left.
Day 4 Goal: 7,692 done, 42,308 left.
Day 5 Goal: 9,615 done, 40,385 left.
Day 6 Goal: 11,538 done, 38,462 left.
Day 7 Goal: 13,461 done, 36,539 left.

I’ll be posting goals, accomplishments and general stats throughout next month to provide some positive reinforcement. I may also describe the story and characters in general terms. 

Is anyone else doing this? We can encourage each other online!

If you have a high-speed connection and you wanna watch some recent primetime telly, you can always go to the area of ABC where you can stream selected shows. The following shows are available:

Desperate Housewives [woo hoo!]

Grey’s Anatomy [??? — haven’t seen it]

Lost [???]

The Nine [???]

Six Degrees [bleh bleh]

Ugly Betty [???]

Of the shows offered, I’m most interested in DH, Grey’s Anatomy and Ugly Betty.

I’ve been listening to some programs from The Infinite Mind about the virtual 3-D community Second Life. I’m thinking that I might be able to use the high-tech avatar design features to make 3-D versions of some people and then screencap them… That would look great on my sexy new computer.

I can listen to one of the most amusing NPR shows ever, Car Talk, at its own Web site. Unfortunately, no archives are available, but you may return every week for your fix. I like this show primarily because the hosts have such a good rapport. I like to hear them laughing at each other’s bad jokes.

I started listening to The Infinite Mind last week. Each hour it focuses on a mental health [broadly construed] topic, bringing in scientists, artists and first-person commentary. So far I have listened to Sextalk, Aspergers part II and Depression in the Brain [currently]. While free streaming audio is only available for the last few months of eps, there are some interesting ones in there [if you can get them to work]. Somehow this show does not seem as rigorous as Sound & Spirit; its tone is a little too naive and gee-whiz, but it’s an agreeable time-passer.

To the Best of Our Knowledge is difficult to describe. It’s kind of like The Infinite Mind for cultural subjects. For example, the show on Laughing at Death included a segment about Southern funeral cuisine, another on the art of a good obituary and another about last meals of death row inmates. You can listen to years of previous programs, and they all work! I really like its catholic and in-depth approach.

Studio 360 is kind of a music and talk show that I just started listening to. It’s an hour long, but it typically has one or two themes per hour. In the Wizard of Oz hour, for example, we got a bio of the author, a clip of Munchkin convention, an overview of lit crit theories about the book, a discussion [and lots of samples from] the score of the 1939 movie, etc. I found this hour fascinating and the segment of another show on the Orpheus myth powerful. A well-rounded and informative show. Shows seem to be archived by segment, making a smooth listening experience difficult.

So, while listening to This American Life’s 1996 Halloween episode, I learned about the long-running TV show Dark Shadows [1965-1971], starring a vampire with a soul who lives in a creepy mansion and suffers time-traveling, werewolves, ghosts, et hoc genus omne, all while accompanied by production values so cheap that you can see the prop guy in some scenes. Yes, folks, years before supernatural soap operas had their mid-’90s boom, there was Dark Shadows, hammy, campy and funny. This may be interesting to check into and laugh at.

Remember when I showed some Toy Fair 2006 previews of accurate, detailed resin busts of Labyrinth characters? Well, now these are finally hitting the shelves. You can find two currently available goblin statues on comic-store shelves now, with Jareth apparently arriving next month. See the pre-order for a Sir Didymus toy here too at Big Bad Toy Store:

http://www.bigbadtoystore.com/bbts/menu.aspx?menu=666

Also, it appears that the 1:6 Jareth doll is back on track…as you can see, Big Bad Toy Store has sold out their pre-order for him and states that his issue date is “3rd quarter 2006,” which means right about NOW!!!

I don’t even like Smallville that much, but I’m looking forward to the release of season 5, the most recent season, primarily because JAMES MARSTERS appears as a guest star. Furthermore, there’s an especially amusing ep containing vamps [one named, in a bad homage to BTVS, Buffy Sanders]. Finally, the endless tortured posturing between Clark and Lana [who is more properly a plot device, not a character] makes for good mocking. I’m not sure which is the better bad TV: Charmed or Smallville. At least Charmed has some characterological consistency…

Clearly it is a slow day at work.

I saw The Illusionist last night. It’s a pure love triangle story between aristocratic Sophie, who is intended to marry the tantrum-throwing Crown Prince of Austria. However, she actually loves the working-class illusionist Eisenheim. After a thwarted childhood elopement, the two reunite about 15 years later. The Crown Prince hires Inspector Uhl to find out Eisenheim’s motives and magic tricks and somehow neutralize him, but Eisenheim threatens to use his magic so that he and Sophie can give the Crown Prince the ultimate slip.

While I saw the movie’s core as the aforesaid love triangle, the actual film wandered in different directions, taking a while to get started. Beginning with Eisenheim’s arrest by Uhl, the movie focuses so closely on Uhl [played by a very likeable Paul Giamatti, atoning for the BOMB Lady in the Water] that I hoped it would be a character study of him, but no such luck. The film then drifted into an extensive overview of Eisenheim’s life, which looked wonderfully atmospheric and sepia-drenched, like an early photo, but did nothing to provide insight into either Eisenheim or Sophie. The bulk of the film concerns Uhl investigating a cagey Eisenheim, who pisses off the easily pissable Crown Prince [played buffoonishly by Rufus Sewell, who clearly has bits of the scenery between his gnashing teeth] by remaining impenetrable. Not until Sophie threatens another elopement with Eisenheim does the plot really kick into gear. But wait…then there’s a whole red herring concerning spiritualism, which is an interesting subject in and of itself. But we don’t spend too long on that because somebody is dead apparently. The Illusionist frustrated me most by giving itself the perfect opportunity for a tight little character study — the close focus of a love triangle — and then meandering and digressing so that I was only half engaged when the romance and mystery really buckled down.

Anyway, I did like The Illusionist for its twilight, sfumato atmosphere, not murky, but smudgy and mysterious. Also Paul Giamatti does a really good job, a serious, smart guy with dorky tendencies, basically kind but drawn against his knowledge into questionable circles through his association with the immature Crown Prince. His character tracked an interesting, rather subtle, development from slavish devotion to the Prince to independent intelligence and an appreciation of Eisenheim’s cleverness. In this way, The Illusionist is a portrayal of Uhl as the quintessential groupie: a man who admires the illusionist because the illusionist represents the best potential of himself, something that he himself wishes to attain.

I’ve got a new essay up on the Realm. Sparked by some comments made by Brian Froud in the afterword of the new edition of Goblins of Labyrinth, it talks about the very real threats of death lurking everywhere in this seemingly innocuous movie.

Why oh why don’t they make their 1:6 action figs look this good? WHY?! All the 1:6 versions of Spike look jowly and middle-aged. Finally, when there’s a likeness that’s accurate, it’s $250.00, premium format and not articulated worth squat. Here’s the 1:6 version:

Here’s the premium format version:

Here are all the Spike lovers who want a decent, affordable likeness: 

🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

Monday’s ep of Love Has Fangs, 8.4 “Plastic Girl,” was too murky in the original draft. My attempt to create a night filter by putting a blue layer over the scene did not work…instead the characters disappeared into shadows! Well, now the comic is bright — I dispensed with the night — and you can see Velvette in all her sexy sexy glory and Dom in all his mopey denseness. Go see!

If you really want to wake up when you just get into work, stream stuff from meaningoflife.tv, where notable philosophers and thinkers are interviewed by a guy who looks distractingly like James Marsters. Luminaries such as Daniel Dennett, Steven Pinker and Edwin Wilson [associated with Tufts, MIT and Harvard, respectively — I live in a hotbed of philosophy!!] discuss consciousness, free will, faith, the existence of God and death. Do not try to listen to eps [each about an hour] successfully, or your brain will be overloaded. The interviews so far have brought me favorable memories of my college philosophy classes. I can feel my brain working….

So far, I recommend the interviews with Daniel Dennett and Sharon Salzberg. Edwin Wilson mumbles, goddammit. I wish Antonio Damasio had been interviewed, but he practices outside of the hotbed [Iowa].

The Illusionist… At first I thought this was a movie knock-off of Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell [by Suzanna Schwartz], but it’s actually based on a short story. Reports say that the movie doesn’t play well as a mystery, but it has reasonably intriguing plot and character development, not to mention magic, so I’m piqued.

Wicker Man…A remake of the 1973 classic, but this time starring Barforama Nicolas Cage and changing the sex of the grand high pagan wawbab to a woman. This movie, about heathen fertility sacrifices persisting into modern times, has been on my must-see list for about a year. I think I’ll watch the remake, throw popcorn at the screen, then go back to the original.

La Science des Reves…A French film [super-chouette!] about a naive guy whose dreams spill into his waking life and how this affects his attempted romance with a neighbor girl. I enjoy movies that explore dream imagery, and the cinematography shown in the preview got me hooked.

Stranger Than Fiction…Character discovers he’s about to be killed off by author and tries to stop it. This oughta be an interesting comedy with Emma Thompson, Will Ferrell, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Dustin Hoffmann!!

I am very annoyed because I paid ~$146.00 back in mid-July to get seasons 1 through 7 of BTVS on DVD…and they never showed. I also never received any information from the seller, despite E-mailing three times [once through personal mail, twice through My Ebay]. Besides the fact that I’m out ~$146.00, I feel especially irritated because I was really looking forward to enjoying my favorite characters and eps in a huge splurge of indulgent gratification. [Hm, that sounded obscene.] 

Of course, I’ll get over it. It’s only some DVDs, and I have put in a claim to PayPal that will hopefully get most of my money back. I just feel cross because my indulgence was thwarted.

Oh yeah, stay away from seller mclarke6666.

As the author of an online serial story, I like to read as many Web comics as possible for ideas on story, pacing, posing, angles, composition, etc. I frequently discover new ones, so I will mention them here, along with a capsule review. Forthwith, some of my favorites:

Alien Loves Predator. Preston [the Predator] and Abe [the Alien] are two bachelors living in New York, as played by a Predator action fig and an Alien action fig respectively. I like this comic because it uses figs and also because the early strips contain hilarious jabs at city life [especially about riding the subway]. The strips have drifted away from NYC absurdity and toward slapstick stupidity, but it’s still one I read religiously.

The Order of the Stick.  My second favorite Web comic consists of a bunch of D&D characters having Epic Quests with plenty of humor and fourth-wall comments. I admire the control of the complex storylines, as well as the consistently upbeat and refreshing humor. This comic demonstrates that humor doesn’t need to be at someone else’s expense.

Action Figure Diary. 1:6 action figs talk to their human owners. It’s a cramped, four-panel format, but the writing is consistently good. Again, it’s more humor at no one’s expense.

Toyville.  Toys that know they’re toys fight evil toys and make wisecracks. Worth it for the constant self-deprecation and admittedly outrageous plots, this sporadically produced series also contains the largest collection of figs you’re likely to see in your life.

9th Elsewhere. I follow this one for the story, in which the depressed, introverted heroine gets stuck in her subconscious. With the help of her flighty muse, she must learn about her own strength so she can wake up and live a good life.  A firm grounding in psychology and a graceful following of small plot points make this one a gem.

And…finally…two new ones that I found recently:

Imaginary Friends. Widowed toy salesman struggles with older son who doesn’t speak and wants to draw monsters and loud younger son with many imaginary friends.  Written economically with great characterization, this comic is drawn with a very cinematic feel. Besides the subject matter, I also appreciate the author’s handling of the “camera.”

Dreamland Chronicles. In this bubble-gum-bright adventure, a college boy goes back to his dream world after 6 years to discover that his dream friends have grown up.  The gentle humor is perfect for all ages, and the CGI-generated characters look like cute 3-D models. You have to see the art in order to admire its rich, deep backgrounds and cartoony expressiveness.

Well, I’ve been listening to WBUR at work, which means about three hours of news reporting, then four hours of talk and analysis about the news. Thus I hear the news about seven times, one time each when it’s reported, then one time the talk show hosts and callers hash it out. Needless to say, all the violence in Israel, corruption in Iraq, stupidity in the White House, bitching about gas, bitching about hurricanes, bitching about heat and bitching about the budget really bores me after a while. I feel like I’m banging my head into a wall of information and becoming bludgeoned, rather than informed.

In lieu of news and the regurgitation thereof, I’ve discovered my home state’s NPR radio station, VPR. With three hours of news and four hours of classical music, VPR gives me a happier balance of information and entertainment. While my brain is resting to classical tunes, I can absorb the events of the day. Furthermore, VPR has extra folksy touches, like Garrison Keillor reading the Writer’s Almanac every morning…and the Eye on the Sky weather reports [from the Fairbanks Museum in St. Johnsbury — hooray for Mark Breen!] and Night Sky Updates, which make me feel like I’m back up north. 

But, for the past few days, I’ve been listening to something even better — Sound and Spirit, an hour-long radio show hosted by Ellen Kushner. After having caught it on a few Sunday evenings, I sought out its [primitive] home page and found that I can listen to streaming versions of previous shows! Each S&S focuses on a different theme [this morning I listened to (1) Break-ups, (2) Satan and (3) The Lord of the Rings], pulling together vocal and instrumental music from all ages, cultures and backgrounds. Bits of famous prose, poetry, plays and sacred texts often appear as well, along with author or scholar interviews. Each hour is like a Unitarian sermon, designed to open your mind, gladden your heart and kick you in the butt. You need to download Real Player to listen to each ep, but it’s free and worth it! ‘Scuse me…gonna go listen to the S&S ep on cities.

Return to Labyrinth, a Henson Company/Tokyopop manga, should be considered a companion, rather than a sequel, to the 1986 fantasy film Labyrinth, about 15-year-old Sarah’s coming-of-age journey to save her half-brother, Toby, from the Goblin King’s Muppet-laden Labyrinth. Continue reading Blog of Eternal Stench reviews Return to Labyrinth

My favorite character from the Return… manga is Hana, the stabby, snotty, snarky Faery, who fulfills the Sir Didymus function when accompanying Toby through the Labyrinth.

Other than that, I find the story an interesting retread of Labyrinth [lots of in-jokes from the Labyrinth realm and even the Dark Crystal — even gratuitous potty humor >_<]. However, Toby doesn’t capture my interest; as vapid as Sarah and even less sympathetic [she had real problems; he’s just a whiny and spoiled kid], he doesn’t engage me at all. I also have serious questions about Jareth as the window-jumping guidance counselor and then the “retiring” [kings don’t “retire” — they ABDICATE] king. I also have questions about his sexual proclivities.

Later. I’ve got to get back to work.

P.S. Despite what you may have heard, this story is not total crap. It’s not a masterpiece either. Just remember that it neither caters to the J/S romantics or the kids who just want puppetainment. Explicitly labeled “Teen,” Return… aims at people between 12 and 16, meaning those who didn’t see the original in the theaters and then spent 20 years whacking off to it. While Return… recalls enough of the original to keep the older fans happy, the primary audience consists of kids who want a blend of action and magic — i.e., people who want what the original was trying to deliver. It succeeds modestly at its goal [action/magic/romance], but adds nothing interesting, glamorous or substantive to the Labyrinth story.

I’ll still be hacking it to pieces analyzing it, though. Heh heh heh…

Thanks to mangacast, there’s an audio recording of the San Diego Comicon panel where Tokyopop and Henson Co. reps talk about the Labyrinth and Dark Crystal manga adaptations. Excuse me while I go get Quicktime and listen to it….

EDIT: The audio quality really varies. The voices of the panelists fade out easily, but the cheering audience occasionally overwhelms the track. I can’t listen to this at work; it’s too distracting! I’ll be back later with a transcription. Amusing note: Someone [couldn’t catch who — maybe Michael Polis?] said that the germ of the Labyrinth manga came from looking at Jareth and realizing that he looked like a quintessential bishounen. HAHAHAHAHAHAH…

LHF now updates every Monday. No more Tuesday/Thursday updates. I want to focus on quality, rather than quantity. Check out the horny robot in today’s ep.

Jareth and Frank would play endlessly with the pieces in this outfit by Cheerydoll. I can imagine CERTAIN PEOPLE [that means you, Frank!] prancing around in the skirt with just underwear underneath. 😀

Well, at least according to the Web site of the illustrator, Chris Lie: “The book will be in stores everywhere in the next 10 days.” [He said that in an update yesterday.]

• Notes for the Return to Labyrinth manga:
• – Takes place after the movie, Toby (the baby the Goblins stole in the movie) is about 14 years old.
• – The plot revolves around Toby exploring the world Sarah visited in the movie, but focuses mostly on the Goblins and Goblin politics.
• – A new character created by writer Jake T. Forbes for the manga is the Goblin Mayor, who is bitter about playing second fiddle to Jareth (David Bowie’s character in the movie).
• – The plot will also explore other kingdoms neighboring Jareth’s.
• – TOKYOPOP has sold out of the first volume of the Labyrinth manga every day during the convention. They will have more for sale tomorrow (Sunday) the last day of the con.

Goblin Mayor? Competition for Jareth? I foresee utter crappiness…How can a goblin character be competition for a ball-twisting rock star? This manga is gonna hurt my brain and my fond memories of the movie…and yet I can’t stop myself from satiating my curiosity.

T-shirts, buttons and such at the Henson Company’s Cafepress store: http://www.cafepress.com/jimhensonco/  Warning: While the MM section contains buttons with all your favorite characters, all the Laby section has is shirts with the manga sequel cover on them. Yawn yawn yawn.

Submit LHF to http://www.onlinecomics.net/ !!

Also get it running in http://www.ohnorobot.com dammit!

…Is now live…or, more precisely, given the inanimation of the key characters, dead! Sorry for the lateness. Enjoy the interesting twist and erotic tension [?!?!?]. Weirdness as usual ensues.

Every so often, someone on DOA asks, “Hey, where are all the BJDs with darker skin: Indians, Hispanics, Arabs and Africans? Why the heck are they all so deathly pale?” While more dark dolls have appeared in the last year [see, for example, Luts “tanning” dolls], they have usually been darker versions of the original pale editions. In my mind, this is like making an African Barbie from the same mold as the Caucasian Barbie, changing only the color of the plastic. Skin color alone does not denote race. There are differences in facial features that most BJD companies have not reflected in their sculpts.

…Until Iplehouse Cocori, who boots SD16 Olivia’s bland lil ass out of the ballpark in terms of quality and quantity.

A server crash ate the last posted ep of Love Has Fangs and all the comments, so I reposted it, but it’s feeling lonely. Please go read Anneka’s E-mail in 7.8, “Job Hunt,” and tell her what you think of her job search. Or check out Anneka and Will’s eye-bleedingly bright outfits in 7.9, “Fiery…and Fired,” and give them some fashion advice.

Don’t forget…you too can subscribe to LHF’s syndication feed here: http://lovehasfangs.livejournal.com. All the cool people [19 of them] are doing it!!

I saw Devil Wears Prada on Sunday afternoon while waiting for the sun to reappear. While I found the book repetitive, grating, stupid, annoying, childish, clunky, lacking in plot, momentum, character development and reasons to continue reading, I really liked the movie.

Rement, a popular source of detailed 1:6 food and household items, will be offering its eminently cool products in the U.S. later this year.

Here’s the E-mail sent to Rement collectors: http://www.re-ment.us/

Here’s the US site: http://www.re-ment.us/

I have no use for it, but I want the waffle iron.

Yup, title says it all. There’s a re-issue of the art book Goblins of Labyrinth [Amazon info here], containing conceptual art by Brian Froud and a foreword by Terry Jones. But wait…that’s not all! This new edition includes a new afterword by Brian Froud and NEW ARTWORK!!! Check below the cut for a scan of the cover and an example of the new art. The picture across the top of the cover, showing Sarah with a mask, is an example of the new and unknown goodies that we will discover within the book’s covers.

The Jim Henson Fantasy Film Collection, a trio of Labyrinth, Dark Crystal and MirrorMask, appears on September 5th. This is not actually news, just a bit of creative marketing, since the DVDs and all extras are just the same as previous releases. The only things that distinguish this collection from anything else are clips from the Return to Labyrinth manga and from the MirrorMask manga. Boring. You can go back to waiting for the Labyrinth sequel manga now.

More info here: http://www.dvdtown.com/announcement/jimhensonfantasyfilmcollection/3629

Apparently the MM manga isn’t coming out till early next year. >_<

Whoo hoo! Here’s some Laby news for y’all …The Labyrinth sequel manga, officially titled Return to Labyrinth [first volume of three], comes out on August 8th. Here’s the Amazon information. Here’s the back text, as taken from the Tokyopop Web site:

“The Goblin King has kept a watchful eye on Toby: His minions secretly guiding and protecting the child… Legions of goblins work behind the scenes to ensure that Toby has whatever his heart desires… Preparing him for the day when he will return to the Labyrinth and take his rightful place beside Jareth as the heir to the Goblin Kingdom…

“That day has come…

“But no one has told Toby.”

Here’s some information from the writer himself, Jake Forbes, as posted on the Tokyopop forums, in response to people who were disappointed that Toby, rather than Sarah, was the focus:

“I’m the writer of the upcoming manga. While I don’t want to give too much away too early, you can rest assured that there are several girls in the manga of various shapes and sizes–one of whom is a lead. Sarah, the main character from the movie, shows up too, but she’s not the lead this time. In any case, it’s not a boys-only adventure by any measure, even if Toby is our protagonist.”

Annnnnd…check out images of the cover below the cut. Manga Jareth! The first is a colored version and the second uncolored version shows you all the nifty detail.

And MAN is it hard to find. And, if I do find it, it’s in languages other than English. Anyway, look below for more goodies besides the links posted yesterday:

Downloadable high-quality stills and sketches of sets from the official French site [watch out for the Pale Man]: http://www.lelabyrinthedepan.com/

Press book [en francais] from the official French site: http://www.lelabyrinthedepan.com/download_img/dp.pdf

Reports from del Toro’s panel at the San Diego ComicCon: http://www.movietack.net/id932.html and http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=23929

Rough cut of a new English-language trailer: http://www.deltorofilms.com/Features_PansLabyrinthTrailer.php

Translation for the new trailer: http://www.deltorofilms.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=257&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=90

Source for a bit of film dialog between Ofelia and Pan [official Doug Jones site]: http://www.thedougjonesexperience.com/pan.htm

Early creature designs by William Stout: http://www.thedougjonesexperience.com/pan%7Edesign.htm

While looking at upcoming movies on IMDB, I came upon El Laberinto del Fauno, or, as it will be hereinafter referred to because I know no Spanish, Pan’s Labyrinth.

I just got all 7 seasons of my favorite TV show [Buffy the Vampire Slayer] for $146.11 [each boxed separately], incl s/h. That’s $20.87 per season, way less expensive than the set that boxes all seasons together [~$340.00 list price]. I’m going to sell seasons 1 and 7 because I don’t like them. [In season 1, no one has really developed interestingly yet, and, in season 7, nothing happens and my favorite characters die.]

Hooray, that leaves me with seasons 2 through 6 to watch…particularly all those parts in season 6 where Buffy is trying to adjust to being alive…and any eps where James Marsters makes more faces than the bad-ass expression…and any eps with robots in them.

I have watched about 13 eps of Veronica Mars season 1 so far. Continue reading “It was incredible, officer. She just jumped over the shark and headed for the soap!”

While goofing off at the Doll Palace [http://www.thedollpalace.com], I discovered an avatar maker that does not crash my compooper [unlike Meez]. Naturally I made Anneka and Will. I particularly like the dollmaker dress-up feature on this site, which allows you to combine elements from different dollmakers into a customized panel. That’s how I got Will into the sarong. Continue reading What sarong with you?!

So, thanks to SailorZeo, I found a free animated avatar program, Meez. Naturally I set to work recreating my current favorite characters, Will and Anneka. The browser crashed in the middle of Anneka’s pixelated construction, so you’ll just have to enjoy Will for now. Continue reading Little Will avatars and animations

I just ordered Veronica Mars season 1, Medium season 1, Tru Calling season 1 and Charmed season 4, all used, all for less than $100.00 total, incl s/h! I saw bits of Medium season 1, but everything else will be new and delicious research for Love Has Fangs. Well, okay, the first three are for serious research. Charmed is just for potato-chip value.

http://www.sideshowtoy.com/behindtheshow/?page_id=1639&source=wp_news

Next BTVS/Angel character to be released in 12″ is Cordelia. I smell doom, especially since the prototype looks reasonable accurate. The last time SST had an accurate prototype [regular Willow], the final draft just looked…warped. Please, Sideshow, just for once, could ya NOT mess something up?

Romantic Uyoo Angel: $238.00

Veronica Mars, season 1: $60.00

Veronica Mars, season 2: $60.00

Supernatural, season 1: $60.00

Smallville, season 5: $60.00

Arthur Spiderwick’s Guide to the Fantastical World Around You: $24.95

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7): $220.00

Twilight Zone Season 1: $96.00

Twilight Zone Season 2: $80.00

Twilight Zone Season 3: $90.00

Twilight Zone Season 4: $90.00

Twilight Zone Season 5: $80.00

Mirror Mask: $26.96

a flatscreen monitor from newegg.com

a laptop cooling board from newegg.com

a love seat

foamcore for mounting LHF backdrops

a bulletin board

Damn you, Soom! Why do you have to make Uyoo so adorable? I’m gonna get a Romantic one eventually…her eyes will be much more proportionate to her head. It’s such a young, attractive, expressive sculpt. With the slightly parted lips, she looks ready to speak. She’s one of my favorite dolls.

Coming eventually to Love Has Fangs, it’s Absinthe Lefebvre, ex-sadist and the vampire who made Will… She’s a Soom Romantic Uyoo head [paper white, of course] http://www.dollsoom.com/shop/step1.php?number=1396 with the default Angel Uyoo faceup on a Limwha ToYou body. Maybe she’ll fit into all those Gothy Bratz clothes that I keep pining after…? Continue reading Absinthe Lefebvre

So I saw Superman Returns this afternoon. While Smallville leaches the superheroic magic and epic proportions out of the Man in Tights’ story, Superman Returns restores some of that power. Though the film felt overlong and populated by mostly forgettable characters as done by average actors, it did achieve a great sense of mood. All the dark, dank shots of Kryptonian crystal architecture …the drifting, serene isolation of outer space…and, most of all, the shots of Superman suspended, listening, almost overwhelmed by his power and responsibility…they really gave a wistful, melancholy key to the story. I didn’t really care about Superman as a character [or anyone else, for that matter], but I felt what he felt.

While no one figures out that Clark Kent = Superman, I finally resolved this blind spot in a way that makes perfect psychological sense at least to me. Clark and Superman just two sides to the same person, but no one can tell that because the sides just behave so differently. Clark acts inept and awkward, unable to express his emotions, while Superman has physical power and seemingly no feelings at all. People around him don’t expect Clark to be physically strong, just as they don’t expect Superman to be emotionally expressive. So when he is muscular and powerful, he seems like a separate entity from the Clark self…and when he is more vulnerable, he seems like a separate entity from the Superman self…mostly because that’s how he feels. Emotional attachments really confuse this guy; they baffle him even more than kryptonite. He may be masterful in lifting cars and small islands, but saying ‘I love you’ requires a different kind of strength, an inner strength that he’s unsure of. The bumbling human form is a physical reflection of his awkwardness. No wonder he goes out and saves the world… It’s easier for him than untangling the human heart.

Coming up: Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Devil Wears Prada!!!

Vampires like the Fourth of July too! Check out the silly Independence Day episode of Love Has Fangs. Today marks the first appearance of one of the BJD characters, little Geordie, who is Dom’s niece. She’s an Elfdoll Jin dal Re, and she asks so many questions that they can’t fit in the frame! Check it out: http://www.oddpla.net/unreal/?p=82

For Slate’s Summer Movie Week coverage, Grady Hendrix writes an interesting article about movie novelizations. You should read the whole article because it brings in novelizations, tie-in books [slightly different], fan fiction, fan message boards, why sci-fi and fantasy get novelized, but not other genres… It’s a pretty cool overview. The article observes that novelizations have the following characteristics:

…Primarily because I haven’t written it, photoed it or laid it out yet. I know all two of you were champing at the bit, but please be patient until later tonight or tomorrow. 

In other news, reviews are divided on Superman Returns. I just listened to David Edelson’s review of it on NPR, and he slammed it viciously. But even more damning than his commentary was a sound clip between Lois Lane [Kate Bosworth] and Superman [Brandon Routh], in which Lois explains why she wrote the Pulitzer-winning article Why The World Doesn’t Need Superman. The set-up allows the Lois character to bring out her true feelings. Is she bitter? Snarky? Sarcastic? Sobbing? Brittle? Tremblingly vulnerable? I have no idea how Lois feels about Clark’s disappearance and return because Bosworth just played it casually and deadpan, like she was talking about what video she wanted to see this weekend. Routh seemed a bit more expressive, but still, the music was more expressive than both of them. If that sample is any indication of the whole content, I feel skeptical about it. Bryan Singer, c’mon! You gave us such cool X movies — can’t ya make Superman soar?

…I do want to see Lex Luthor torture Superman, though.

Like BTVS, only starring a guy and less compelling and individualized characters, Smallville follows a teen with superpowers and the archetypical struggle with adolescence, adulthood, identity and superpowers, all of which even out to be the same thing. Superpowers as metaphor for puberty is a concept that I find endlessly fascinating, probably because part of me still thinks I'm a cripplingly shy 15-year-old.

In summary, on July 20th, there’s a special 20th anniversary screening of Labyrinth at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences [Beverly Hills, CA], followed by a live [as opposed to dead, I presume] conversation with Brian Henson, who voiced Hoggle. 

Also, to quote the release, “The Academy’s current exhibition ‘It’s Alive!: Bringing Animatronic Characters to Life on Film,’ which contains original animatronic puppets from the film, will be open for viewing immediately following the screening.” Drat! Actual puppets used in Labyrinth, and I’m not anywhere near California. I’ll dig around for some more information on this exhibition and get back to you.

It’s not fair.

Here we go, latest press information from the Academy’s Web site http://www.oscars.org/press/pressreleases/2006/06.06.22.html .

Will someone please explain to me why Jareth, who executed a great belly flop from the table to the floor this weekend, shows no damage whatsoever, while Frank, who has spent all this time standing around with a dirty little smirk on his face, has a chip in his lipstick? I have to reapply that fire-engine red some time this week. >_<

Also, can someone please explain why I bought a 1:3 chair expressly for Jareth and/or Frank to sit in, and Jennifer is the one who uses it all the time to do her sketching and journal writing in?

With all the hoopla about the Volks SD16 boy at the end of last year, I expected the Volks SD16 to come with a similar fanfare. Nope. Olivia Morgan just snuck in quietly as an LE 100 available only at some party and then through Fashion Doll Quarterly.

Buzz over on DOA is lukewarm. People like the more mature body, but the jointless ankles really turn them off. People also seem to like her more mature face, but everyone pretty much agrees she looks like a female form of Yukinojo. Both DOA speculation and the FDQ behind-the-scenes article conclude that Volks is chasing the American fashion doll market and therefore introducing a BJD with some of the same qualities [curvaceousness, blond hair, pointy feets] as Barbie.

I really like her. She has the type of body that Frank should have: tall, thick, strong and curvy. She also has a very sweet face that begs to be glammed up. She’s also much less expensive [as these things go] than Yukinojo. You can order her over at the FDQ site for $969 + $11 s/h in the USA. Not that I’m about to break my bank account for her. Frank could still kick her butt any day. :p Wanna see some pictures?

Continue reading Volks SD16 girl slips in under the radar.

Basic Photography: CCAE course, $149.00 no 

Summer Light: CCAE course, $125.00 got it 

The Art of Reviewing: CCAE course, $125.00 no 

Pirates, Sailors and Pasta: A North End Walk: CCAE course, $37.00 no 

What Makes Harvard Square a Square?: CCAE course, $37.00 no 

Boston’s Historic South End: A Walking Tour: CCAE course, $20.00 no

Mastering the Art of Aloneness: CCAE course, $44.00 no 

Arthur Spiderwick’s Guide to the Fantastical World Around You: $24.95 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7): $220.00 

Twilight Zone Season 1: $96.00 

Twilight Zone Season 2: $80.00 

Twilight Zone Season 3: $90.00 

Twilight Zone Season 4: $90.00 

Twilight Zone Season 5: $80.00 

Mirror Mask: $26.96 

12″ Drusilla action figure: $45.00 no 

Elfdoll Tiny Adel: ~$300.00 got Jin 

Elfdoll Rainydoll Nabee: ~$750.00 no 

a haircut got it 

a new pair of shoes got it

the domain name for my Web comic got it

and a really good computer with a flatscreen monitor and a DVD player that doesn’t seize up in the middle of Minority Report!!! no

a flatscreen monitor from newegg.com

a laptop cooling board from newegg.com

a love seat

foamcore for mounting LHF backdrops

a bulletin board

I just bought a three-comic adaptation of Labyrinth. Published in 1986, this Marvel adaptation came out in three separate issues, which were then collected in a super special. If you watch Ebay, you’ll see that the super special appears much more frequently. “What a pity,” though, because the individual issues contain exquisitely awful cover art somewhere not duplicated in the super special. 

Anyway, stay tuned to Jareth’s Realm because I will scan and upload each volume of the adaptation so that you, too, can see how amusing it is [for all the wrong reasons — not a funny story, but heinous art]. Until I get a new scanner, please content yourselves with a sample below, illustrating JARETH THE FEARSOME BOOGEYMAN WITH GLOWING CONTACT LENSES OR SOMETHING!