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Thoughts about TV shows: Bones, Fringe, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Supernatural

Thoughts about TV shows: Bones, Fringe, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Supernatural published on 1 Comment on Thoughts about TV shows: Bones, Fringe, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Supernatural

Now that some shows I watch are on Christmas break [?!] apparently, I thought I'd update my opinions on them.Continue reading Thoughts about TV shows: Bones, Fringe, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Supernatural

Caitlin Flanagan’s ego is bigger than 52% of the population.

Caitlin Flanagan’s ego is bigger than 52% of the population. published on 1 Comment on Caitlin Flanagan’s ego is bigger than 52% of the population.

In the most recent Atlantic, Caitlin Flanagan writes about "What Girls Want." Basically, she says that all girls want steadfast male devotion, like she did, which is why the Twilight series is so popular among teen female readers. She makes the horrible logical fallacy of assuming that her particular experience is universal; in doing so, she erases all possible variations of sexual maturation — due to race, class, gender, socioeconomic status, size, disability, etc. — that young girls experience. She especially erases variations in young girls’ sexual preferences, assuming that they’re all heteronormative. We ain’t no monolith, you dipstick, and we don’t all want slavishly adoring masculine suitors.

The Soggy Cult of Tuberculosis: The Davidson Poetical Trio, or Information for Absinthe

The Soggy Cult of Tuberculosis: The Davidson Poetical Trio, or Information for Absinthe published on 1 Comment on The Soggy Cult of Tuberculosis: The Davidson Poetical Trio, or Information for Absinthe

Here we go. Lucretia Maria Davidson (1808-1825) was one of the Beautiful, Virtuous, Dead Teen Poets I was talking about earlier. Margaret Miller Davidson (1823-1838), Lucretia’s younger sister, was another. Margaret Jr. was named after her mother, Margaret Sr. (1787-1844), who acted as teacher, agent and career manager for both daughters, who, depressingly enough, she outlived. All three of them exploited and were further elevated by the aforesaid Soggy Cult of Tuberculosis, which romanticized the disease that both LMD and MMD Jr. died from. Seriously, there was a whole strain of early Romantic thought linking death by tuberculosis with great sensitivity, poetic skill and tragic beauty.

Interesting information and commentary about these individuals can be found in the following places:

Robert Southey, then the British poet laureate, wrote a very laudatory article (1827) in The Quarterly Review that gave the Soggy Cult more gushing power, but I can’t find a copy of it online.

The Poetical Remains of the Late Lucretia Maria Davidson (1857) contains poems by LMD, but, more pertinent to our investigation into the Soggy Cult, a short dedication by MMD Sr. to Washington Irving, in which MMD Sr. reconstructs LMD’s life so that it might conform to the lineaments of the Soggy Myth. There is also a very long biographical sketch by Catharine Marie Sedgwick that appears to draw on familial reminiscences, unpublished poems and LMD’s letters. Amid the constant tendency to romanticize LMD, there appear many interesting details of her everyday life as a middle-class girl of the very early 1800s. These details are very important! Oh yeah, there’s also some poetry in there.

Biography and Poetical Remains of the Late Margaret Miller Davidson (1850) contains poems by LMD’s sister, MMD Jr. In service of the Soggy Cult, Washington Irving wrote a long biography, ostensibly of MMD Jr., but also encompassing much about MMD Sr., who provided the notes on which the biography is based, and also about LMD, who of necessity enters into any discussion about the MMDs.

"Margaret Miller and Lucretia Maria Davidson" (1850) represents Edgar Allan Poe’s critical response to the Soggy Cult’s libations of praise for LMD and the MMDs. He thinks Sedgwick and Irving too effusive in their evaluation of LMD and MMD Jr. Apparently, Poe will employ the tropes of the Soggy Cult for horrific effect in his fiction, but he has no use for it in real life.

I need books about Absinthe.

I need books about Absinthe. published on No Comments on I need books about Absinthe.

I need books about life in the Boston metro area in the early 1800s, which is when Absinthe was active. I find a plethora of material about Puritan Boston [when Ethan was active], witchcraft Boston [when Tituba was active], late Victorian Boston [when Will was active] and 20th century Boston [when Materyllis was active], but I have a huge gap in my historical knowledge, except for Fire and Roses, by Nancy Lusignan Schultz, which is the story of how Absinthe’s school, a convent school run by Ursuline nuns in Charlestown [now Somerville!], was burned by anti-Catholic rioters in 1834.

I think I need to find some of those soggy Romantic reports of the two young women who were poets in the early 1800s and who lived and died in Plattsburgh, NY. The lavish detail surrounding their portrayal, lives, deaths and poetry gives me a primary-source sense of the Romantic Cult of Tuberculosis, a disease that strongly affected Absinthe’s life. [She died of it.]

Juniper says, “NYAH!”

Juniper says, “NYAH!” published on No Comments on Juniper says, “NYAH!”

The next time I have $400.00+ just bonking around, begging to be spent, I’m going to commission DIM’s Minimee project to do a custom head of Juniper. She’s an original character that I created in Daz back in my electronic modeling phase. Of all the experimental 3-D renders I did, she captured my heart the most. I was going to release her as a character, meaning a custom morph and textures, with several custom poses, but I never got around to it. She reminds me of Sardonix, only much more feral.Continue reading Juniper says, “NYAH!”

Vampires: Myths and Metaphors of Enduring Evil, edited by Carla Kungl

Vampires: Myths and Metaphors of Enduring Evil, edited by Carla Kungl published on No Comments on Vampires: Myths and Metaphors of Enduring Evil, edited by Carla Kungl

Available online as an E-book. Looks like published conference proceedings covering Carmilla to BTVS. Super-chouette!

EDIT: This collection of rather short essays is at its best when covering modern vampires, although Hyun-Jung Lee’s analysis of LeFanu’s Carmilla as a threat to the very foundation of subjectivity is particularly good. In the section on vampires of today, one especially interesting essay by Elizabeth McCarthy addresses the importance of bodily mutilation inflicted by people on vampires to modern conceptions of the vampire legend. In another unusual essay, Pete Remington takes a look at Anne Rice’s vampires and their relation to the experience of the depressive self. Five essays treat BTVS and Angel, mostly the sexually problematic characters of Angel and Spike, who both embody and undermine tropes of magnetic, violent, brooding, Byronic heroism. This is a varied collection with essays of uniformly high quality, although I do wish most of the pieces were longer, with more in-depth analysis.

Also possibly of interest: Monsters: Myths and Metaphors of Enduring Evil, edited by Paul Yoder and Peter Kreuter, in the same series.

Also possibly of interest: The Monstrous Identity of Humanity, edited by Marlin Bates, by the same press.

I cannot indulge your multiverse.

I cannot indulge your multiverse. published on 1 Comment on I cannot indulge your multiverse.

So I’m poking around on Amazon, looking for comprehensive reference books about vampires, and I realize the sheer number of books devoted to critical analyses of BTVS. In no particular order, here are the ones I found, excluding those that focus primarily on shows other than BTVS:Continue reading I cannot indulge your multiverse.

Yay! Fat doll success! Here’s Margie.

Yay! Fat doll success! Here’s Margie. published on 3 Comments on Yay! Fat doll success! Here’s Margie.

Here are the results of another lazy project of mine. I was going to make Margie, Absinthe’s foster mother, as a complete, separate doll, but I got bored, so I just finished her head and stuck it on Davry’s body. I redressed Davry’s body and gave Margie some breasts made out of polyfill under her shirt. Voila.

Margie is posing next to Mark because Mark represents what Margie’s head looked like before I started work on it. To make Mark’s headsculpt into Margie’s, I carved down the forehead and the brow ridges. I also narrowed the nose and chopped a lot off the tip. I took a lot of width out of the jaw and the chin. Then I sanded with 220 grit sandpaper until most of the nicks from my crappy carving were sanded out. I gave Margie a new paint job mostly with pastels, painted her hair and made her a bun from Barbie hair.

I have now successfully made a dumpy, homely character!Continue reading Yay! Fat doll success! Here’s Margie.

Oh wait…I guess *I’M* the monster!!

Oh wait…I guess *I’M* the monster!! published on 1 Comment on Oh wait…I guess *I’M* the monster!!

Step aside, all post-apocalyptic last-man-on-earth sci fi scenarios. Richard Matheson’s 1954 novella, I Am Legend, did it first and best. A simply plotted but viscerally effective work, it focuses on Robert Neville’s efforts to stay alive, kill vampires, research the vampirism plague and retain his humanity in the face of crushing loneliness. Matheson writes with a gritty compassion about Robert’s messy desperate days, his horrific flashbacks about his wife’s death, vampiric resurrection and death again at his hands.

The best parts occur when Robert thinks he’s found other plague survivors: a dog, then a woman. Despite his best, most patient, grovelingly desperate advances, the dog dies after only providing a moment of tender respite to Robert. At this point in the novella, the reader feels about as broken-hearted as Robert; while Robert still stubbornly forges ahead in his habits of survival, the more emotionally astute reader begins to suspect that Robert’s world has no hope for humankind. The vampires are taking over. By the end of the story, Robert has the hardest, most chilling realization of all. The vampires rule the world, and they regard him as a murderous relic, a frightening aberration in their new society. He is the monster, not them. I strongly recommend this book.

Submit’s back!

Submit’s back! published on 3 Comments on Submit’s back!

I’ve finally put together all my Elfdoll Kathlens. One is Submit, obviously, and the other is either a ghost or a child vampire from some time between 1800 and 1860. The blue hair is temporary. I’m extremely pleased to have Submit back. Goddamn…that girl is cute. ^_^

Continue reading Submit’s back!

Why “women” “like” “vampires”

Why “women” “like” “vampires” published on 1 Comment on Why “women” “like” “vampires”

On the eve of the movie debut of Twilight, much pissing and swooning occurs on the subject of vampires as depicted in this film. Lots of articles wonder about the attraction that the Twilight vampires have to their audience.

Rosemary Black, New York Daily News: 1) Women are drawn to Byronic heroes. 2) We desire them because the intense fear provides orgasmic arousal. 3) They’re the ultimate symbol of a chaste sensuality. 4) They’re perpetually young, sexy and intensely devoted to their mortal lovers.

Kate Harding, Broadsheet [Salon]: 1) New York Daily News is full of shit. All the article’s arguments represent tired stereotypes about female sexuality. 2) Women are attracted to the recent crop of vampires because they are written by women and /or because there’s a focused on well-rounded female characters.

Henly 424, Salon commenter: The current iteration of the vampire, an intensely devoted, magical, eternally loving being with awesome superpowers, recapitulates the old fantasy that a supernatural creature can somehow rescue an ordinary kid from a life of boring normalcy and transform him/her into something powerful and stupendous, merely by association with the undead.

There’s not anything particularly attractive to women as a whole about vampires as a whole. For women as a whole to be attracted to vampires as a whole, both women as a whole and vampires as a whole would require definition as monadic entities. However, women are diverse in their attractions; vampires are diverse in their manifestations. The idea that "vampires" can reveal something "essential" about "feminine sexuality" can just go to hell.

Even if we’re talking about the type of vampires shown in the Twilight saga [which we probably are, even though it’s never explicitly stated], the question is still not "Why do women love vampires?" The question is "Why are these particular characters extremely popular among a huge subset of U.S. readers who are mostly teenaged and female?" There’s no ahistorical answer. I can’t stand it when people can’t frame their inquiries with appropriate exactness.

As to why the Twilight vampires are so popular with their audience, I think Laura Miller’s analysis of Bella as Mary Sue is an insightful start.

The LHF vampires are amused about the amount of critical ink being spilled in an attempt to explain their attractiveness to mortals. :p

LHF 3.6: “Soul’s Dark Night”

LHF 3.6: “Soul’s Dark Night” published on No Comments on LHF 3.6: “Soul’s Dark Night”

In which Will wakes Anneka to have an urgent discussion about their [lack of a] relationship.  http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=132

Comments: I feel bad for both characters here. Both of them are obviously in pain, and both of them aren’t really listening to each other. Hmmm, that’s the story of their life together.

Anneka’s ability to fall asleep in the middle of heart-wrenching discussions unfortunately parallels my own.

Riddances special edition: trading books

Riddances special edition: trading books published on No Comments on Riddances special edition: trading books

I discovered Paperback Swap, and it is the BESTEST site ever!! You can post books you don’t want, which other users can then request of you. You send these books for the price of postage, in turn receiving credits that you can redeem for books posted by other users. I’m very excited because I posted the requisite 10 initial books that I wanted to get rid of, and, already, within hours, 5 of them have been claimed. Good riddance!!!

1 copy of Breaking Dawn
1 copy of The Spanish Pearl
1 copy of The Dictionary of Imaginary Places
1 copy of Between Women: Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England
1 copy of Drawing Down the Moon: Witches, Druids, Goddess Worshippers and Other Pagans in America Today

Total 5 riddances
Grand total 126 riddances

Fly little books! Fly to new appreciative owners and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!

Not A Cough In A Carload: Images from the Tobacco Industry’s Campaign to Hide the Hazards of Smoking

Not A Cough In A Carload: Images from the Tobacco Industry’s Campaign to Hide the Hazards of Smoking published on No Comments on Not A Cough In A Carload: Images from the Tobacco Industry’s Campaign to Hide the Hazards of Smoking

This beautiful collection of ads, centering on U.S. ads from the 1930s through the 1950s, portrays the tobacco industry’s cover-up of their drug’s deadly effects on users. Note how the manufacturers target especially vulnerable populations such as teenagers, college students, women and people of color. Bastards.

Special edition riddances: making others happy!

Special edition riddances: making others happy! published on No Comments on Special edition riddances: making others happy!

As you can see, I’m participating in the Holiday Wishlist meme, but I come off as too greedy and picky, so I’m not going to get anything off my list. That said, I can make others happy by scanning the lists in the Holiday Wishlist community and sending items to those who desire them. The following riddances have been sent off to a far better life with people who requested them on their wishlists:

1 copy of The Phantom Tollbooth
1 copy of Red As Blood: Tales from the Sisters Grimmer
1 package of origami paper

1 riddance was donated:
1 comforter
Total 4 riddances

Grand total 121 riddances

Holiday list, I guess — Holiday wishlist meme keyword spam LQQK! NRFB MIB NR

Holiday list, I guess — Holiday wishlist meme keyword spam LQQK! NRFB MIB NR published on 1 Comment on Holiday list, I guess — Holiday wishlist meme keyword spam LQQK! NRFB MIB NR

Gotten from Andrea.
1. New readers [and COMMENTS!] of my weekly Web comic, a sarcastic melodrama about vampires in Boston, Love Has Fangs.
2. Repeal of California’s Prop 8 and other anti-gay props that recently passed in other states…or at least support of organizations working to overturn such legislation and promote marriage equality around the US.
3. A new digital camera with at least as much power as the Kodak Easy Share Z712.
4. A 5-drawer, non-Ikea dresser.
5. A fat 1:6 female action figure.
6. Sideshow Friday the 13th VII Jason 1:6 action figure.
7. Doctor Who Clockwork Droid 12" action fig.
8. Donations in my name of perishables and/or your no-longer needed clothes, books, etc. to non-religious charities.
9. Vampire schlock broadly construed!

Cross-posted here to be glossed over by the masses because I think I missed the appropriate bouncy, generous tone.

Send me an LJ message if you need to get in touch with me.
Continue reading Holiday list, I guess — Holiday wishlist meme keyword spam LQQK! NRFB MIB NR

Recent riddances and my philosophy about ridding

Recent riddances and my philosophy about ridding published on 1 Comment on Recent riddances and my philosophy about ridding

1 fleece glove lost 🙁
1 hat with ear flaps lost 🙁
1 pair of BJD hands sold
1 BJD blanket sold
1 pile of papers shredded and recycled
Total 5 riddances
Grand total 117 riddances

I suppose I should explain my ideas about riddances. No matter how large/small the space I live in and no matter how many/few things I think I have, I accumulate more things than I expect. These things collect in nooks and crannies of space, such as bookshelves, hobby drawers, closet shelves, under the bed. Basically, they stack up anywhere that it is possible to stash something and forget about it…or at least ignore it for a while. Continue reading Recent riddances and my philosophy about ridding

Antique girl with purple eyes

Antique girl with purple eyes published on No Comments on Antique girl with purple eyes

So I’m getting another Kathlen from Dolls & Friends. No one seems to be buying her [except me], though the price has hit rock-bottom, and she’s so adorable. I felt sorry for the unpurchased Kathlens and yearned after them, mostly because the open-eyed face reminds me of a more mature Submit. Thus I made an offer to Dolls & Friends so low that I didn’t think they would accept it, but they did, so another is coming my way, along with some miscellaneous Rement cosmetics and bakery items!

Anyway, each Kathlen comes with 1 body, 1 head back and 2 face plates. 1 head back + 1 sleeping face plate went to Absinthe. Since she is on an action fig body, I have 1 open-eyed face plate + 1 Kathlen body left over. I’m not sure what to do with the leftovers; they might become a Very Young Will, or they might become an original character. Anyway, I dressed the extra Kathlen and gave him/her the open-eyed face just to see what he/she would look like. Antique girl with purple eyes below. Awwwww….Continue reading Antique girl with purple eyes

THEY’RE COMING TO YOUR TOWN!

THEY’RE COMING TO YOUR TOWN! published on 3 Comments on THEY’RE COMING TO YOUR TOWN!

The American Family Association is selling a DVD about queer people becoming a visible part of Eureka Springs, Arkansas. It’s an alarmist piece of tripe of blithering homophobia that harps about the nefariousness of gay invasions. Commenters from people on Shakesville amuse me greatly, especially the alternative gay agendas. Beware the ROY G. BIV skyscrapers! Boogedy boogedy!

Tale of Two Sisters 6: “And Gemini Makes Three”

Tale of Two Sisters 6: “And Gemini Makes Three” published on No Comments on Tale of Two Sisters 6: “And Gemini Makes Three”

In which Velvette and Janet discover that Gemini has an interesting scarf. http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=128

Comments: Previously in our tangential plot, Velvette gets fed up with Janet’s insomnia-related crabbiness, so Janet tries to catch some sleep in the cemetery. Viktor, banished from the site of the man he was created for, discovers her on a sarcophagus and accosts her about his ill treatment by Sibley. Janet banishes him from her sight. Meanwhile, back at Janet and Velvette’s house, Velvette and Gemini are having some fun.

I love how Gemini’s sweet facial expression is belied by her devious mind.

Riddances: 12

Riddances: 12 published on No Comments on Riddances: 12

I haven’t been ridding myself of things for a while, but I just sold Jennifer’s body and some clothes, so I’m recording again.

11 BJD clothing items
1 BJD body
Total riddances 12
Grand total 112

Anyway, now that I have sold Jennifer’s body [for a vastly reduced price, due to the stains], I can get Ethan! [That’s Ethan Stuart, the 400-year-old walking skeleton who acts as unofficial king, judge and police of Boston vampire society.] Now I just have to find a place that sells that version of Jason for a reasonable price….

Souldoll is gonna debut a 70cm male centaur BJD!!

Souldoll is gonna debut a 70cm male centaur BJD!! published on No Comments on Souldoll is gonna debut a 70cm male centaur BJD!!

Well, normally, I don’t follow BJD news much these days, but I’m ecstatic to see the news mentioned in the subject line. [Here’s a product page which, as of yet, has nothing remotely resembling doll pictures on it.] Before this, all we had for commercially produced centaurs were the anatomically questionable [centaurs do not have 4 human feet!] Domadoll Kkotmus at about 12". Hopefully, Chiron [named after the wise teacher centaur, the only virtuous centaur in Greek mythology, yay!] will be a regular release, beginning a long line of therianthropic dolls including merfolk, general issue satyrs [as opposed to Soom’s beautiful but limited ones], nagas, sirens, et hoc genus omne.

Disturbing clothing ads: Death to cartoon characters!

Disturbing clothing ads: Death to cartoon characters! published on 2 Comments on Disturbing clothing ads: Death to cartoon characters!

What do you think of these ads over on SocIm? Frankly, they creep me out. This is what I said over there:

People of color as backdrop! Gun as penis! Murder as victory! YAAAAAAAY!

Beyond these things, I’m trying to articulate why this series is disturbing to me, perhaps because it brings cartoon characters into the non-cartoon world and gives them realistic remains. Most of the characters shown are heavily anthropomorphized, which adds an extra layer to their death. The trope of “big game hunt” doesn’t really fly for me when I see a tree with a sad humanoid face with its limbs amputated. What do other people think?

I’d like to hear opinions from other people.

LHF Tale of Two Sisters 5: “Mad Scientist in the Graveyard”

LHF Tale of Two Sisters 5: “Mad Scientist in the Graveyard” published on No Comments on LHF Tale of Two Sisters 5: “Mad Scientist in the Graveyard”

http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=126

In which a mad scientist and a robot meet in the cemetery.

In our parallel plotline so far, the aforementioned two sisters, Velvette and Janet, have been bickering. Janet suffers migraines, during which she wants Velvette to wait on her. Naturally, Velvette chafes under these demands. Meanwhile, Janet’s creation, the sexbot Viktor, suffers maltreatment at the hands of his owner, Sibley, who keeps pushing him away. Viktor has already explained his problems to Velvette, but now he decides to take his complaint to the top: his creator, Janet.

This ep marks the reappearance of Viktor’s most popular ability: vibrating. Pity that no one ever actually wants him to use it. :p

One of Will’s less tacky sartorial choices

One of Will’s less tacky sartorial choices published on No Comments on One of Will’s less tacky sartorial choices

By any standard of the imagination, it’s still quite tacky, though. Nevertheless, he looks very pleased with himself. I always imagine him dressing kind of like Oscar Wilde during his life, only with less panache and more clash.Continue reading One of Will’s less tacky sartorial choices

My writing has appeared in…

My writing has appeared in… published on No Comments on My writing has appeared in…
  • United Parenting Publications: 2004-2005
  • Out in the Mountains: 2004-2005
  • Associated Content: 2005
  • Clarion Reviews: 2005-2006, 2008-present
  • Tangent Online: 2005-2007
  • Dollicieux: 2006
  • Curve Magazine: 2007
  • The Fix Online: 2007-present
  • Sociological Images: 2008-present
  • Kirkus Discovery: 2008-present
  • Trends: 2008-2009

Hmm, not bad for a side interest spanning 4 years. My work at Sociological Images has been the most enjoyable, since I get to dissect bits of pop culture whenever I feel like it.

Doll notes: Jennifer and Absinthe

Doll notes: Jennifer and Absinthe published on 1 Comment on Doll notes: Jennifer and Absinthe

While trying to banish several fur wigs from my life, I reexamined the pictures I took of Jennifer modeling them. The pictures are not that great because she has a little peanut head, so most of the wigs are too big on her. Nevertheless, I was struck by the glowing contrast of her electric blue eyes with her milk-colored skin. She photographs very well in full-spectrum light, and I should take more pictures of her.

I finished my reincarnation of Absinthe last night. You can’t see, but she has a pair of jeans on that are the perfect height and width for her size. [She is 23 cm.] The jeans have no label, but I strongly suspect that they are Bratz Boyz clothes, which means that I have a character who can fit into Bratz clothes! She does not like Bratz girl clothes, though, so I have to find her some schlumpy casual wear among the Bratz Boyz stuff.

Speaking of Bratz Boys, I need to get some Bratz Boyz shoez and some screws. Then I will drill the screws up into the ankles of some of my dolls who don’t have feet [a surprising number], and they can have shoes! Unfortunately, Bratz Boys stuff is not as easy to find as the girl stuff.

Today’s riddances: 7

Today’s riddances: 7 published on No Comments on Today’s riddances: 7

5 books donated
2 BJD wigs sold

Total 7 riddances
Grand total 102 riddances

Well, I met the goal of getting rid of 100 things in 100 days. I am too motivated for such paltry limits! Fear my ridding skills! I still have many things to get rid of, though. I have some BJD stuff that is not moving, even though I am giving it away. I’ll try reposting. I also have 1:6 stuff, especially doll heads, in my parts bin. I need to post those too. There are a few things in my closet that I can purge as well….

A Taste for Blood: Non-Human Sanguivores

A Taste for Blood: Non-Human Sanguivores published on No Comments on A Taste for Blood: Non-Human Sanguivores

Natalie Angier writes a New York Times article about non-human organisms that subsist wholly or partly on the blood of other organisms. Most illuminating for my purposes is the commentary here:

Moreover, even though we rightly cherish our own blood as the indispensable elixir of our lives, it turns out that, as a foodstuff for others, it is surprisingly thin gruel. Blood is more than 95 percent water, with the rest consisting mostly of proteins, a sprinkling of sugars, minerals and other small molecules, but almost no fat. Tiny creatures can do fine on such light fare, which is why the great majority of exclusive blood eaters are arthropods…. For larger sanguivores, though, it is as much of a challenge to survive on blood as it is to acquire it.

Small wonder that wholehearted exclusive blood feeding is rare among vertebrates, and that two of the three species of vampire bats are found in such low numbers they are at risk of extinction….

The moral of the story is that blood, while rich in symbolism, is impoverished in actual food value. Therefore I suspect that most attempts to make an exclusively sanguivorous vampire biologically convincing are pretty silly insofar as they ignore the basic fact that a human-sized biped that runs solely on blood would have to be drinking it constantly [and pissing out all the watery plasma constantly, HAH!]. Much more believable to create an opportunistic sanguivore that likes blood and drinks it whenever possible, but does not get more than, say, 25% of its diet therefrom. Maybe like the LHF vampires, who are all united by their taste for human blood, but who also eat omnivorously??

P.S. Here’s Angier’s general paean to human blood, a "marvelous fluid tissue…that not only feeds us and cleans us," but also tastes delicious.

Spinsters and superfluous single women

Spinsters and superfluous single women published on No Comments on Spinsters and superfluous single women

As Margaret Oliphant argues, the terms in which "superfluous" women are discussed in Victorian discourse are very telling. In her analysis, the "problem" with unmarried women was not in they themselves but in their treatment by the many who held opinions on the matter.

–Rita Kranidis, The Victorian Spinster and Colonial Emigration: Contested Subjects, p. 42

I need information about the cultural perspectives on and opportunities open to unmarried Victorian women, since Mary, whose diary I transcribed, remained single all her life [1864-1938]. Thus I’m reading the aforementioned title, about the massive export of single British women to British colonies, holdings and territories in the Victorian era.

While a lot of this book concentrates on how both the women and the colonies are equally portrayed as dangerous goods to be literally marginalized so that they can benefit the center [= Great Britain], some of it is relevant. I need a general discussion of the middle/late Victorian views on unmarried women; this book is not a foundational source of information, but it’s a good supplement to those I have already amassed.

His rebus dictis, what is going on in that second sentence I quoted?!! "The problem…was not in THEY themselves?!" It should be "them themselves." I assume Kranidis was overcompensating for the odd-sounding semi-redundancy of "them themselves," but gah! She’s a scholar! With editors! Either she or her editors should have caught this mistake.

I loathe hypercorrections such as these, cases where people mistakenly use subjects instead of objects because they think the subjects sound more formal and correct. Even Barack Obama, despite being The Shining Prince Of Hope Who Will Bring Peace, Prosperity And Hypoallergenic Shelter Puppies For All, perpetrates such language abuses. In a press conference on November 7th, he said, "Well, President Bush graciously invited Michelle and I to — to meet with him and first lady Laura Bush." NOOOOO, it’s supposed to be "Michelle and me!" I hate it when people can’t grammatify correctly.

Best thing about Hellboy 2

Best thing about Hellboy 2 published on No Comments on Best thing about Hellboy 2

I really liked the aesthetic choices for the elven characters. All of them had yellowish white skin, like spoiled milk or dead cheese. Their lips were dark if not black, their irises glowing yellow, their hair the color of thin piss. They had no eyebrows, which made their eyes extra striking. They looked sickly, corpse-like and vampiric, appropriate for a race of characters going extinct.

Absinthe and her cloud of hair

Absinthe and her cloud of hair published on No Comments on Absinthe and her cloud of hair

I made Absinthe a headcap out of plastic wrap and tape. Last night and tonight I glued wefts of white mohair to it. Here is the untrimmed result. I don’t think I’ll trim it, but I do need to get it out of her face. She looks so serene and wild, which is good, because both those traits are aspects of her character. Continue reading Absinthe and her cloud of hair

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army published on No Comments on Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Yay, I finally saw Hellboy 2, in which Hellboy, Abe Sapien, Liz the firestarter and Dr. Strauss the ectoplasmic comic relief race to keep an insane elf, Prince Nuada, from activating mechanical warriors and destroying the world. Meanwhile, Hellboy and Liz have domestic disputes, which are magically resolved when Liz gets pregnant with two devil/human halfbreeds, and Abe goes gooshy and loses all dignity for the insane elf’s twin sister, Princess Nuala. Cigars are chomped; monsters are dispatched; quips are tossed off, and everyone has a silly good time.

This movie is amusing, diverting and charming, and it could be even better with a reduction of romantic goop, which is out of character for all the characters, and a greater focus on Nuada and Nuala. They’re actually interesting, since they know they’re part of a dying kind; even though Nuada fights back, both he and his sister seem to know that the elves and all the magical creatures that they represent are doomed. Thus the film argues for a manifest destiny sort of colonization of the imagination, with Hellboy et al. in especially weird positions because they’re on the colonizers’ sides. But the film ultimately prefers to wallow in sluggish love songs, rather than this interesting thematic tension.

Best images of canceled BTVS Tarot

Best images of canceled BTVS Tarot published on 1 Comment on Best images of canceled BTVS Tarot

There was going to be a BTVS tarot once, but it, in the manner of all good things, got cancelled. Saddened at the abortion of a promising artistic project, I collected the highest quality images I could find of the cards that had been previewed. Please take the links to admire the files in their full glory. The existence of almost half the Major Arcana makes me think that the art for the entire deck was completed, and we will never see it, sob sob sob.

  • 0. Fool. Here is the first Slayer at the beginning of her kind’s fateful journey.
  • 1. Magician. Buffy wields stupendous magic power in the first female interpretation of this card I’ve seen.
  • 2. High Priestess. Willow is the feminine magical principle.
  • 6. The Lovers. According to an interview with deck designer Rachel Pollack, this card shows Buffy and Angel.
  • 10. Wheel of Fortune. The Master rules the cycle of judgment, death, transformation and undeath.
  • 11. Justice. According to Pollack, this card shows Willow.
  • 13. Death. This looks like the ritual that created the first Slayer.
  • 14. Temperance. Angel in vamp mode represents a balance between all desires and duties.
  • 15. Devil. Buffy and Spike [in vamp mode] are tempted to sick carnal delights.
  • 16. Tower. This looks like Buffy sacrificing herself at the end of season 5.
  • 19. Sun. The death-dealing, life-saving power of the Slayer smites the evil vampire.

“May I please have a cheeseburger.com?”

“May I please have a cheeseburger.com?” published on No Comments on “May I please have a cheeseburger.com?”

My 6-year-old stepkidsy enjoys watching us go to icanhascheezburger.com and reading the LOLcats out loud to her. She asks to see "kitty pictures" regularly. While she certainly enjoys pictures of adorable animals doing amusing things, she has yet to grasp the inherent humor of LOLspeak, as evidenced by her hypercorrect name for icanhascheezburger.com: "mayipleasehaveacheeseburger.com." She has requested this much politer and more grammatically correct site several times on the past visits. ^_^ She also tries to make up her own LOLspeak jokes. Sometimes we can hear her trying them out: "O hai is u my kidsy?" Or, "Sleeping cat is sleeping!"

Battleground of Desire: The Struggle for Self-Control in Modern America

Battleground of Desire: The Struggle for Self-Control in Modern America published on No Comments on Battleground of Desire: The Struggle for Self-Control in Modern America

As much as I like subject-delimited histories [i.e., about sex and gender roles in the U.S. in the late Victorian Era], I actually prefer thematically based overviews, such as Battleground of Desire, which takes a general subject — controlling the body/emotions/sexual expression in the Victorian bourgeoisie — and shows how the concepts of this struggle for self-control distribute themselves through all aspects of daily life. When I read about the many ways in which the fight for self-control could manifest itself — in diary entries chastising oneself for being too passionate [something Mary does frequently], in the schoolroom punishment to “go sit in the corner and think about the consequences of your actions,” to the widespread horror of masturbation, called “self-abuse,” to the huge obsession with correct posture, to the intractable debate about restrictive corsets vs. “healthier” clothing with room to breathe– I get a better sense of what  it might have been like to live  during that period with those things on my mind. While Battleground does not go into lots of detail on any subject, it’s a learned synthesis of many individual cultural trends, and it’s based on solid research.

LHF 3.5: “Stirrings of Life”

LHF 3.5: “Stirrings of Life” published on No Comments on LHF 3.5: “Stirrings of Life”

http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=97 In which Will can’t get no satisfaction, but Velvette and Gemini can!

Comments: Welcome another character to the cast: Gemini! She’s not really new, so much as she is newly appearing. Those of you who have very long memories and attention to this sort of detail may recall the story of how Anneka’s best friend Pippilotta was turned into a vampire. It was a sordid affair in which she was exploited by one Gemini Beaumont purely to make Gemini’s squeeze jealous. Gemini comes from the wild and self-destructive End of the World, a clan based in Provincetown, so her reputation as a dangerous agent of chaos precedes her. She and Velvette seem to get along well, though.

It may be difficult to read, but Janet’s white board has lots of helpful messages on it, like “Order stem cells” and “Kraftwerk rules! <- So does Velvette” and “Remember – Velvette = sister. <- That’s not funny! <- That’s because you have no sense of humor.”

FS: Elfdoll Kathleen Winter Fantasy LE outfit + wig for 20cm/8″ dolls, $25

FS: Elfdoll Kathleen Winter Fantasy LE outfit + wig for 20cm/8″ dolls, $25 published on No Comments on FS: Elfdoll Kathleen Winter Fantasy LE outfit + wig for 20cm/8″ dolls, $25

FS: Elfdoll Kathleen Winter Fantasy LE outfit + wig for 20cm/8" dolls, $25 with domestic shipping included. Out-of-U.S. shipping is more. From the Dolls & Friends LE 20 Winter Fantasy Kathlen [same size, 20cm, as Elfdoll Hana and Doona Soah/Ryung]. Includes dress, capelet, muff, tights, shoes and wig. Never put on doll, taken out of package only for photo, then put back in. Picture of outfits alone is mine. Picture of Kathlen modeling outfit from Dolls and Friends. Doll not included!! Continue reading FS: Elfdoll Kathleen Winter Fantasy LE outfit + wig for 20cm/8″ dolls, $25

Free lot of Re-ment: drinks, coasters, stool, watering can, bowling stuff — pay shipping

Free lot of Re-ment: drinks, coasters, stool, watering can, bowling stuff — pay shipping published on 1 Comment on Free lot of Re-ment: drinks, coasters, stool, watering can, bowling stuff — pay shipping

Free lot of Re-ment: drinks, mugs, foot stool, watering can, bowling stuff — pay shipping. Will not split. Shipping is $1 in U.S., more internationally.
Continue reading Free lot of Re-ment: drinks, coasters, stool, watering can, bowling stuff — pay shipping

Mock-up of the new Absinthe

Mock-up of the new Absinthe published on No Comments on Mock-up of the new Absinthe

Here’s a mock-up of how I want Absinthe to look. I pasted a picture of her sleeping head onto a picture of old Absinthe, who has the type of hair that I want. She looks so sweet!

I decided to make Absinthe a hybrid with the Kathlen head and an Obitsu body. I’ll order it tomorrow; tonight I need some sleep!Continue reading Mock-up of the new Absinthe

Short characters in LHF

Short characters in LHF published on 1 Comment on Short characters in LHF

Kathlen arrived today! She’s such a cutie. Her head is perfect for Absinthe’s upgrade, especially the serene sleeping face. However, Kathlen’s body is much too short. Below, Kathlen stands in a line-up with some of the shortest LHF characters with my 1:6 Frank for comparison. From left to right, they are Kathlen, Susie, the old version of Absinthe, Davry, Little Will and then Frank [not an LHF cast member]. I’d like Absinthe’s upgrade to be shorter than Little Will.Continue reading Short characters in LHF

Today’s riddances: 6 — plus a note on affording Kathlen

Today’s riddances: 6 — plus a note on affording Kathlen published on No Comments on Today’s riddances: 6 — plus a note on affording Kathlen

5 books resold
1 document box recycled
Total 5 riddances
Grand total 64 riddances

NOTE: I’m doing pretty well generating some extra money to cover Kathlen. Plus shipping, she was $231.50. I’ve done 2 Clarion reviews x $50.00 a review, so there’s $100.00. I have also earned $58.58 so far from the sale of BJD items. [It would be more, but for damned Paypal fees.] Anyway, that’s $158.58. I’m on the deck for at least 1 more Clarion review x $50.00 a review and 1 Kirkus Discovery review x $50.00 [less taxes] a review, so those two assignments should bring me up around the price of Kathlen.

About Absinthe — as I mentioned earlier, she’ll either be an Obitsu/resin hybrid, which will be cheap, or a hybrid of two types of BJD, which will be costlier. I did a lot of comparisons earlier this week and narrowed down potential resin body donors to the following:

Not Doll/Roxy Pandora/Miriam/Yohimbin. Pluses: Appropriate height, appropriate color, double-jointed arms. Minuses: Single-jointed legs, "droopy" headsculpt. [I might as well try to get another 1:6 kidsy out of this with a headsculpt that I like.]

Soul Doll Soul Little Jandi. Pluses: Beautiful sculpting, double-jointed arms and legs, cute headsculpt. Minuses: Not pale enough, a bit too tall, quite robust.

Orientdoll Joong. Pluses: Inexpensive. Minuses: Too short, just 20cm, no double joints, apparently not being made any more.

I’m writing a book. Also, marriage is an elastically inclusive institution.

I’m writing a book. Also, marriage is an elastically inclusive institution. published on 1 Comment on I’m writing a book. Also, marriage is an elastically inclusive institution.

This is not anything new. I’ve been writing it for about two years now. To be fair, I should more accurately say that I’m collaborating with Mary Elizabeth Collins, an ancestor of mine [1866-1938]. She wrote a diary of her high school years in Plattsburgh, New York between 1884 and 1887, which I have transcribed. I’m in the process of annotating it. Since she writes a lot about her various courtships [and repeatedly turning down marriage proposals!!], most of my introductory material concentrates on dating and marriage in the late Victorian era.

Anyway, for my book, I was reading Nancy Cott’s Public Vows: A History of Marriage and the Nation. It’s an overview of marital practice and law on both state and local levels in the United States from colonial times to 2000. A cursory scan of the book shows American marriage as a fluid concept that steadily expands to include people of different races, married women’s property rights, no-fault divorce, parties of the same sex, etc. Though I’m still hurting from the fact that 53% of Californian voters personally hate me, I take heart from the long view proposed by Cott. Using the U.S. as a case study, she shows that marriage is an almost infinitely elastic institution. Those who campaign to stretch it always, always, always win out over those who try to keep it restrictive.

Even though Public Vows is not very relevant to my book, it’s relevant to my life, so I feel a tiny bit better.

KenMen’s makeup for men

KenMen’s makeup for men published on No Comments on KenMen’s makeup for men

Thanks to Sociological Images’ post about makeup for men, I found the KenMen Web site, where appear many types of makeup and skin care products for men. Or, at least, they are aimed at men, with language that connotes machismo and aggression. The defensive deployment of language all over the site — in a strident attempt to convince consumers that the products are not coded either feminine or queer — is enthralling. Interestingly enough, despite KenMen’s exertions to heterosexualize and masculinize makeup, it still sells foundation with the name Cream Me Face Base. To me, at least, the phrase "cream me" says "ejaculate on my face," which, if the implied consumer is a man getting ejaculated on, sounds rather gay.

P.S. Someone needs to take an international poll about the associations of the name Ken. My first association is with Barbie’s boyfriend, who is connoted as an anatomically incorrect, bland, largely useless and even outright stupid character. Therefore, I don’t find KenMen an auspicious name for a men’s makeup company. But perhaps the name has different associations elsewhere around the world.

Fur BJD wigs for $2, MSD/SD/Dollshe/Mecha Angel — and some free mohair

Fur BJD wigs for $2, MSD/SD/Dollshe/Mecha Angel — and some free mohair published on No Comments on Fur BJD wigs for $2, MSD/SD/Dollshe/Mecha Angel — and some free mohair

Hey hey hey and welcome to MW’s Please Get It Out Of My House Sale, where you benefit from ridiculously low prices, and I benefit from less stuff in my life.

All wigs shown on my Obitsu Friend Gretel, whose head is somewhere between SD and MSD size. All are $2 apiece, except for the mohair, which is free. Shipping is $1 in the US, more internationally. Paypal only, unless you’re local.Continue reading Fur BJD wigs for $2, MSD/SD/Dollshe/Mecha Angel — and some free mohair

Hi there, Absinthe!

Hi there, Absinthe! published on No Comments on Hi there, Absinthe!

Sadly, Dolls and Friends is closing early in December, so the U.S. loses another reseller of Asian BJDs. Happily for me, all remaining stock is deeply discounted, so I got Elfdoll Kathlen, a 20cm BJD with 2 faceplates [awake and asleep], outfit, eyes and wig, for $221.00 without shipping.  Her original price was $340.00, so that’s 35% off. Continue reading Hi there, Absinthe!

Mneh.

Mneh. published on No Comments on Mneh.

Obama won the presidency, which is good, assuming that a) he actually delivers on some of the liberal tendencies he’s been talking about and b) no one tries to assassinate him. Also, Massachusetts keeps its income tax, decriminalizes small amounts of marijuana and bans dog racing. That’s also good.

More depressingly, California passes Prop 8 to outlaw gay marriage; gay marriage bans are also passing in Arizona and Florida, while, in Arkansas, unmarried couples are now banned from being foster or adoptive parents. Ah, the good ol’ USA, home to lip service of equality and practice of segregation. Why do these country’s institutions hate people so much if they’re not straight, white, rich, non-disabled men? No…seriously…why do this country’s institutions so venomously and murderously despise most of its citizenry? I’m exhausted.

Assignment: Convert hatred to understanding and acceptance. Prognosis: Doubtful.

“Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.” / “A little glass vial?” / “A little glass vial!”

“Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.” / “A little glass vial?” / “A little glass vial!” published on No Comments on “Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.” / “A little glass vial?” / “A little glass vial!”

So I just watched a Youtube version of Zydrate Anatomy, a song from Repo! The Genetic Opera. Murky and full of visual hiccups, it featured Alexa Vega and Paris Hilton and some guy who looked like he was out of a steampunk Liaisons Dangereuses. I am reminded favorably of Marilyn Manson and the New York Dolls in both concept and costumes. Perhaps this would be an interesting movie to see, although, of course, it’s probably not showing anywhere near me. [Trailer here.]

LHF 3.4: “Freaks’ Night Out”

LHF 3.4: “Freaks’ Night Out” published on No Comments on LHF 3.4: “Freaks’ Night Out”

In which Anneka avoids her grief by partying with friends. http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=93

Comments: Time for some new characters! Davry previously appeared in Tale of Two Sisters 2 “Fighting the Robot,” but here we learn a bit more about him: namely, that he’s a rather annoying progressive. I think Andrew purposefully highlights her red-blooded manliness just to annoy Davry. Hee hee.

I took pictures of Central Square for the backgrounds on a cloudy early fall morning. Anyone who says it’s too light out for vampires will be summarily ignored. :p

The dolls are alive…we’ve diagrammed their life cycle.

The dolls are alive…we’ve diagrammed their life cycle. published on No Comments on The dolls are alive…we’ve diagrammed their life cycle.

Thanks, Volks. This chart explains everything: how dolls are born, how they grow, how they have lives, how they die?! …But I wonder about hybrid dolls. Does Frank, a Volks Yukinojo head on a Dollmore Model Doll body with Twiglimbs arms, have only 1/3 of a soul or something? The chart is silent. Noooooo !  Just when I think this hobby is all about people having fun and playing with dolls, something reminds me that there are some big cultural differences between my perceptions of dolls and other BJD owners’ perceptions.  Continue reading The dolls are alive…we’ve diagrammed their life cycle.

Yesterday and today’s riddances: 7

Yesterday and today’s riddances: 7 published on No Comments on Yesterday and today’s riddances: 7

Yesterday’s riddances
1 pile shredded mail recycled
1 pile 1:6 related papers recycled
1 flat cardboard recycled

Today’s riddances
1 pair dress shoes donated
1 doll magazine recycled
1 BJD dress sold
1 pair BJD shoes sold

Total 5 riddances
Grand total 26 riddances

Some undead information for Halloween

Some undead information for Halloween published on No Comments on Some undead information for Halloween

How Stuff Works provides an overview of zombies, including some interesting info about Clairvius Narcisse, supposedly a verified zombie, and the ingredients of Haitian zombie powder, which may have ingredients scientifically proven to produce feels of paralysis and disorientation.

How Stuff Works also has an overview of vampiric creatures around the world, with an especially interesting segment on ancient Assyrian and Babylonian creatures.

The same site also discusses werewolves and the influence of Hollywood on traditional beliefs about these shapeshifters.

Today’s riddances: 19

Today’s riddances: 19 published on No Comments on Today’s riddances: 19

1 double-headed lamp donated
1 blank book donated
1 pair pajama pants donated
1 blouse donated
1 pair novelty gloves donated
1 pair too-small underwear trashed
1 package expired body gel trashed
1 windbreaker donated
1 skirt donated
1 long-sleeved shirt donated
2 history books donated
1 movie DVD resold
1 set TV show DVDs resold
1 children’s book donated
1 non-fiction book donated
1 BJD wrap dress trashed
1 BJD miniskirt trashed
1 BJD shirt trashed
Total: 19 riddances
Grand total: 19 riddances

Constipated werewolf demands to know the location of his pants!!!

Constipated werewolf demands to know the location of his pants!!! published on 1 Comment on Constipated werewolf demands to know the location of his pants!!!

Soom has been doing a series of unusual dolls with elaborate costumes, therianthropic body parts and accessories — all inspired by signs of the zodiac. For August and the sign of Leo, they issued Io Windwalker, a hunter with a spear and lion-related accessories: a skirt trimmed with lion fur, a claw necklace and a maned headdress representing a lion's head. As you can see on the product page, Io lives up to Soom's usual standards of high quality. He's both a lithely sculpted, attractive doll and an original concept with an expert execution.
Continue reading Constipated werewolf demands to know the location of his pants!!!

Finding my Curve bylines

Finding my Curve bylines published on 1 Comment on Finding my Curve bylines

I should hunt some up and scan them [mostly from the end of 2007]. None of them are online because they were short book reviews in the print editions. Anyway, the main branch of Cambridge Public Library has back issues. Now I need to find out where the main branch is temporarily housed….

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie published on No Comments on The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

Sherman Alexie was on The Colbert Report last night, where he managed to be witty, intelligent, gracious and generally stupendous in the face of Stephen Colbert’s buffoonish mockery. Alexie’s repartee even drove Colbert to a stand-still, where he just shook his head at Alexie, smiled and ended the interview. Given Alexie’s masterful performance, I am interested to see if his book reflects the same keen mind and incisive word use.

Selected freelance credentials, arranged by publication, then by date

Selected freelance credentials, arranged by publication, then by date published on No Comments on Selected freelance credentials, arranged by publication, then by date

Associated Content

  • Labyrinth Special Edition DVD: Worth $50? Published October 27, 2005.
  • Film Adaptation of C.S. Lewis’ Narnia A Pleasant Surprise. Published December 8, 2005.
  • Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls: Collecting These Dolls Is a Great Hobby. Published January 18, 2006.

Clarion Reviews

  • Camille Claudel: A Novel, by Alta Brown. Reviewed winter, 2005.
  • Past the Line, by E.T. Milligan. Reviewed winter, 2005.
  • An Unchaste Life: Memoir of a Tudor Queen, by Anne Cato. Reviewed spring, 2006.

Curve Magazine

  • Page Turners [various short book reviews]. Published April, 2007.
  • Page Turners [various short book reviews]. Published, May, 2007.

Dollicieux

  • Dolls With Souls: The Power of Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls, Part I. Published January, 2006.
  • Dolls With Souls: The Power of Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls, Part II: Published February, 2006.
  • Dolls With Souls: The Power of Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls, Part III. Published April, 2006.

The Fix Online 

  • So Fey: Queer Fairy Fiction, edited by Steve Berman. Reviewed October 13, 2007.
  • Heroes in Training, edited by Martin H. Greenberg and Jim C. Hines. Reviewed October 21, 2007.
  • Inferno: New Tales of Terror and the Supernatural, edited by Ellen Datlow. Reviewed December 7, 2007.
  • Petits Fours, Scrimshaw and Training Bikes: Metaphors for Fiction — An Interview with Ellen Klages. [Includes discussion of Portable Childhoods by Ellen Klages.] Published March 15, 2008.
  • The Duke in His Castle, by Vera Nazarian. Reviewed June 15, 2008.

Out in the Mountains

  • Spring Fire, by Vin Packer. Reviewed October, 2004.
  • Girls Who Bite Back: Witches, Mutants, Slayers and Freaks, edited by Emily Pohl-Weary. Reviewed January, 2005.
  • Light Before Day, by Christopher Rice. Reviewed April, 2005.
  • Beauty and Darkness: An Interview with Susie Wizowaty. [Includes review of A Tour of Evil, by Susie Wizowaty.] Published November, 2005.

Tangent Online

  • Fantasy & Science Fiction, February 2006 issue. Reviewed December 29, 2005.
  • Fantasy & Science Fiction, March 2006 issue. Reviewed January 30, 2006.
  • Modern Magic: Tales of Fantasy and Horror, edited by W.H. Horner. Reviewed June 25, 2006.
  • The Fair Folk, edited by Marvin Kaye. Reviewed August 17, 2006.
  • Escape From Earth: New Adventures in Space, edited by Jack Dann and Gardner Dozois. Reviewed November 15, 2006.
  • North of Infinity II, edited by Mark Leslie. Reviewed November 15, 2006.

The last episode of Supernatural was so bad…

The last episode of Supernatural was so bad… published on No Comments on The last episode of Supernatural was so bad…

…that they ended it 90 seconds early, preferring to spare us the atrocious plot and give us Jensen Ackles lip-synching to Eye of the Tiger, which, while hilarious, doesn’t make up for a largely uninteresting ep with serious moral vacuity.Continue reading The last episode of Supernatural was so bad…

Laurell K. Hamilton and the neverending series of DOOM!

Laurell K. Hamilton and the neverending series of DOOM! published on 1 Comment on Laurell K. Hamilton and the neverending series of DOOM!

Thanks to sailorzeo, who sent me the first 12 books of Laurell Hamilton’s Anita Blaker Vampire Hunter series [previously discussed here], I can now summarize books 1-6 for you.

1. Mary Sue Anita uses her Super-Awesome Bestest Zombie Powers in the whole wide world!!!!!! to solve a police procedural in which yet another Evil Sick Twisted Bastard Beyond Imagining is seriously fucking shit up. The audience turns its brains off and goes for the ride.

2. Mary Sue Anita fights with her main snooze squeeze, Richard the Hairy Wolf Dude, about how he should kill other werewolves in order to insure his status as alpha male. The audience wonders what these two see in each other, since they have no common interests and about as much chemistry of a heap of wet pine needles.

3. Mary Sue Anita fights with other main squeeze, the vampiric and ridiculously dressed Jean-Claude. The audience chokes on its laughter, since Jean-Claude appears to take fashion cues from Jareth the Goblin King in Labyrinth, only with less sense of humor. The audience then reads the scenes between Mary Sue and Clotheshorse much more avidly, since these two seem well-matched, but Clotheshorse soon flits away, leaving the audience in a semi-dormant torpor once more.

4. Gratuitous descriptions of PARTLY DISMEMBERED BODIES!!! The audience rolls its eyes.

5. Gratuitous fight between Mary Sue and some rival for either Hair Club’s or Clotheshorse’s affections. The audience secretly roots for the rival to kick Mary Sue’s ass, but Mary Sue’s ass is impenetrable, even by her "preternatural" [which means "unusual," LKH, not "supernatural" — DAMN YOU!] butt monkeys.

6. Repetition ad nauseam of the following: Anita’s age [24], Anita’s "tough-as-nails" demeanor, Jean-Claude’s entirely-masculine-and-so-totally-not-at- all-androgynous-and-not-the-least-bit-sexually-ambiguous-why-would-you-even-say-that-I’m-STRAIGHT-straight-I-tell-you-iiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee! physique, Jean-Claude’s "beautiful mask" of a face, fur "flowing" [?!] over a transforming lycanthrope, vampires who "flash fangs" [they never "flash THEIR fangs," which irritates me to no end], and the conspicuous absence of any gay tension between Furface and Fangface, despite the fact that they are in a menage a trois with Mary Sue, and Jean-Claude seems like the omnisexual type to use sex as a form of power.

7. Profit!

In other words, these books provided an entire weekend of mindless entertainment. But my vampires are better.

Notes on how to take background photos

Notes on how to take background photos published on No Comments on Notes on how to take background photos

I’ve learned a few things while taking outdoor shots for LHF backgrounds:

1. I should NOT use regular AA batteries or regular rechargables for my camera. My camera eats them quickly. Lithium ion ones are the best. Sources say that they last a lot longer.

2. I should not take pictures at night time. Pictures at night time on the street usually have two colors: black and BILIOUSLY YELLOW [from the streetlights].

3. There are four meteorological conditions that provide an acceptable substitute for night time: right around sunrise, right around sunset, cloudy [but not rainy] weather and rainy weather. All of these conditions balance my need for distinguishable detail with my need for a sense of dimness. Anyone who claims that sunrise, sunset, clouds and/or rain make backgrounds that are "too light" for my characters will be summarily ignored.

4. I should not take too many pictures with snow on the ground, since this dates the pictures too obviously in winter. Instead, I should take pictures with bare ground.

5. Pictures with green leaves can successfully signify late spring, summer and early fall. Green leaves have a broad applicability of dates.

6. Pictures with brown, yellow, red or orange leaves successfully signify fall and early winter. Fall leaves tend to date pictures too narrowly.

7. Pictures with no leaves can successfully signify fall, winter and early spring. Pictures with no leaves have a broad applicability of dates.

8. I should avoid taking pictures of people, but sometimes they will get in front of my camera.  Fortunately, if they keep moving, they will blur, so they are easy to anonymize.

9. Pictures should never, ever, ever, EVER be taken inside a business, including one’s workplace, even with permission from the head honchos. Pictures may be taken inside the private homes of friends and family with permission.

10. Pictures at the following locations are best taken early in the week, when crowds aren’t so large: parks, gardens, squares, campuses, malls, stores, sidewalks and streets in general.

11. However, pictures at the following locations are best taken early in the morning on the weekends, when almost no one is there: subway station exteriors, subway station interiors, subway car interiors.

12. Cemeteries are in their own category as far as scheduling photos. The best times to photograph them are on weekdays early in the morning and early in the evening. The heavily trafficked Granary and Kings Chapel cemeteries in Park Street should ideally be shot just after opening or just before closing because, unfortunately, they are locked at night, and, during the day, they attract hordes of tourists.

13. Background shots should be simply framed from simple angles, such as front view, side views from both sides, back view and maybe some three-quarters views. Side views from both sides should be taken so that the characters can have some variety to stand in front of. Background shots are not about artsiness or individual details, but about a sense of place.

14. Background shots should capture the distinguishing feel of a place, but they do not need to be comprehensive. E.g., photos of Central Square do not need to get the Town Hall and the view toward Boston and the aboveground entrances to Central Station and all the bus shelters and the crosswalks and the painted utility covers and all the benches…. Likewise, photos of the Old Burying Ground in Cambridge do not need to cover every single inch of the cemetery.

Quabbin Reservoir eats Massachusetts towns

Quabbin Reservoir eats Massachusetts towns published on 2 Comments on Quabbin Reservoir eats Massachusetts towns

In the late 1930s, Massachusetts flooded four little towns — Dana, Enfield, Greenwich and Prescott —  to make a reservoir so that Boston metro could have even more drinking water. The resultant Quabbin Reservoir, one of the largest man-made reservoirs in the world, now contains both natural, wild beauty and the rather ghostly remains of the 2,500 lives it displaced. Old foundations and overgrown roads still appear above the water line, and, apparently, if you look down into the water, you can see old houses!!

It’s an incredibly eldritch and fascinating place, from what I’ve heard. I’d love to go there. I bet vampires hang out there… The public radio documentary Haunting the Quabbin gives a detailed, personal view of the creation of the reservoir, as viewed by former residents of the displaced towns and others involved in the project.

Time travel to the recent past in NBC’s canceled gem Journeyman

Time travel to the recent past in NBC’s canceled gem Journeyman published on No Comments on Time travel to the recent past in NBC’s canceled gem Journeyman

I just discovered a tragicallly truncated series, cut down in the bloom of youth as was American Gothic: Journeyman. It’s about a man who involuntarily time travels to the recent past, no earlier than the 1960s, to fix people’s lives gone awry. Guided by his fiancee who supposedly died but really disappeared because she’s a time traveler too, Dan tries to figure out his powers and keep his family together. His wife and son find his unpredictable disappearances rattling, to say the least, and his cop brother suspects him of being mentally unstable. Meanwhile, a rogue FBI agent and an astrophysics professor may know more about time travel and others like Dan than they are letting on.

Grounded by a performance balancing both grit and heart from the understated [and very hot] Kevin McKidd, Journeyman derives much of its power from the tragic irony inherent in the protagonist’s situation. He is surrounded by a close-knit group of loved ones, including his cool, smooth and sexy ex-fiancee Livia [played with calm and witty competence by Moon Bloodgood], his on-edge, brittle, but still devoted wife [played by Gretchen Egolf], his pig-headed cop brother Jack [Reed Diamond, successfully doing a jerk with layers who has a weak spot for his brother], nauseatingly cute son Zach, his boss at the paper, etc. Dan bounces to the past to bring together old flames, protect siblings, reunite parents and children, etc., but all of his exertions to keep families together end up tearing his own apart. In the present, all of Dan’s friends and family forgive him again and again, but his new vocation forces rifts open between him and others. The series starts slow, but, around ep 5, all the plot threads start coming into play, rewarding viewers with an emotionally involving, increasingly suspenseful ride of 13 eps.

Okay, I lied. While canceled due to the 2007 writers’ strike, Journeyman ultimately does not suffer from its abortion. I would have liked an entire season to wrap up all the promising, thrilling interconnections, but the eps we do have stand on their own as engaging, high-caliber TV. Watch it on Hulu because time travel is awesome!!!

Let The Right One In comes to Kendall!

Let The Right One In comes to Kendall! published on 4 Comments on Let The Right One In comes to Kendall!

On November 14th, Let The Right One In is coming to the Kendall!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also the book comes out in paperback on October 28th. I will read it.

EDIT: Let The Right One In has already been issued in paperback in 2007 under the title Let Me In. The upcoming release represents a title change and a tie-in to the US release of the film. Anyway, I’m getting Let Me In through interlibrary loan!!

Minor LHF characters: Zaezae and Angelie

Minor LHF characters: Zaezae and Angelie published on No Comments on Minor LHF characters: Zaezae and Angelie

So I made up two minor characters for LHF tonight for two beautiful Integrity/Barbie combos that Andrea sold me. One Integrity head went to Cory, my manananggal, but I had two dolls left over without personalities, names or even clothes. Now they have names and clothes, maybe even some personalities.

The one on the left is Maria de Sao Jose, otherwise known as Zaezae. She is a young member of the Irmas de Maria, a clan of Portuguese-American female vampires who live for several hundred years and have healing powers. She is about 50, which is the equivalent of 20 or so human years. She is flamboyant, somewhat dramatic, prone to exaggeration and bubbly. With her zest for life, she is enjoyable to be around.

The one on the right is Angelie Kim, a Korean-American who died in the very early 1990s [hence the outfit]. She’s a quiet, rather intense person. She has an unhealthy obession with aerobic exercise and can often be seen doing Jazzercise, step aerobics or jogging [in neon gear] around Boston metro. She is peripherally associated with both the Plainsfolk and the UUUs, but she also feels attracted to the Hun, in part because she has a crush on Chow. She also finds the Plainsfolk and the UUUs too liberal for her tastes, so the Hun represent a more palatable conservatism.Continue reading Minor LHF characters: Zaezae and Angelie

LHF Meanwhile 11: “Waste Disposal”

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In which Alexandra, Anneka’s mom, catches Max, Anneka’s dad, using the toilet for an unusual purpose. http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=74

Comments: When we last left Anneka’s parents, they were on edge because of the declining health of Minerva, Anneka’s grandmother and Max’ mom. Alexandra tried to diagnose everyone’s emotional distress and forcibly promote family togetherness, while Max preferred to hide behind the Burlington Free Press. Apparently they’re still disagreeing, as evidenced by this, their yearly dispute over Max’ antidepressants.

This Meanwhile actually comes from the previous iteration of LHF, but I’ve updated it and moved it to the current version for several reasons. 1) I like the character development and details of Anneka’s parents’ relationship. 2) It gives me an excuse to show off my new kitchen set/backdrop. 3) Ever since the first version of this ep debuted 2 and a half years ago, I’ve wanted to get a Max doll to go with my Alexandra doll. Now both exist in doll form, and Max even has a wheelchair! 4) If I hadn’t linked to it, you wouldn’t have remembered the original anyway, so there.

Why yes, the Max doll does differ from the 3-D rendering of him. I rationalize this by saying that the 3-D rendering of Max portrayed him as inaccurately hairless because I couldn’t find an appropriate hairstyle or beard for him. The doll of Max accurately shows what he is supposed to look like. No, I don’t know why he has a dorky-looking hat on, but it runs in the family….

The kitchen is a Barbie My Home kitchen base customized by me. I added the paper towel roll, pot holders, tongs and towel rack. Many of the kitchen utensils are made by Re-ment, although I made the stuff in the pitcher [potato masher, bottle brush, scissors and wooden spoon] myself.

Depictions of Native Americans in pop culture

Depictions of Native Americans in pop culture published on No Comments on Depictions of Native Americans in pop culture

Collected at Newspaper Rock.

Native Americans in Children’s Literature covers that subject critically and thoroughly. Beverly Slapin has an especially accurate and trenchant essay about the stupidities perpetrated by ignorant non-Native authors trying to write YA novels with Native American characters.

Much better Ethan

Much better Ethan published on No Comments on Much better Ethan

Back in 2005, Sideshow did a 12" version of Jason from Friday the 13th 7. As I see from Michael Crawford’s site, the Sideshow version looks much gaunter than the Mezco upcoming version [mentioned previously], so I think I will try to track down a Sideshow version of this dude for Ethan. Anyway, amazingly enough, the Sideshow Jason 7 has a relatively relaxed, neutral expression for a man in the process of decaying.  Hooray! I’ve been looking for a sculpt like this for some time…The Sideshow sculpt looks great, except for those white things on his face. At first I thought they were grains of rice [hahah!], but I think they’re supposed to be maggots.

Realistic fake blood with realistic fake donor label

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Okay, I laminated my fake donor label and hot-glued it to my fake blood bag. Looks pretty convincing, if I do say so myself. I have to figure out some way to duplicate these in 1:6.Continue reading Realistic fake blood with realistic fake donor label

Vampire food in the drug stores! Blood bag for my costume…

Vampire food in the drug stores! Blood bag for my costume… published on No Comments on Vampire food in the drug stores! Blood bag for my costume…

freak42  found me a bag of blood for my Halloween costume. Apparently he dug it up in a humungous suburban Walgreens for, as you can see, $1.99. I now seek a realistic label for a blood bag that a hospital might use. Then I can put it on my vampire juice box.

I really like the detail on this cheap novelty candy, including the heavy plastic of the bag itself and the clip at the end of the tube. You can’t see it, but there’s a lanyard under the label so it can be hung around one’s neck.

Continue reading Vampire food in the drug stores! Blood bag for my costume…

Ethan, is that you?!

Ethan, is that you?! published on 1 Comment on Ethan, is that you?!

One of my hardest LHF characters to capture in plastic has been Ethan Stuart, the oldest known vampire in New England. Born at the tail end of the 1500s [!!], he’s just over 4 centuries. He was old in the first place because he was turned when he was 91, but the years are really taking their toll on him. Furthermore, he’s wasting away, so he basically looks like an exhausted skeleton with skin.

I considered several possibilities for his 1:6 form. I thought I might use a cheap 12" Halloween skeleton with basic articulation, but that would require lots of building UP with Sculpey, and a) I only do well with simple building up, like hair and b) I’m much better at carving AWAY.

I thought I might like to get a Peril Unlimited zombie, as reviewed here, but a) he looks pissed, rather than tragic and b) he’s sold out. Most zombie figs I’ve seen look pissed and/or stupid [like Zinnia Pascale, who looks like she’s permanently pained by the lack of intelligence exhibited by humans]. [No zombie figs ever look depressed to be dead. I wonder why.]

Now I think that I may have found a good base for Ethan in Mezco’s upcoming 12" Jason Voorhees as seen in Friday the 13th part 9,000,000,000 7. As you can see in the linked review, he looks skeletal and aged without appearing too stupid or annoyed. This is probably because he does not have enough face left to be expressive with. I could sand his head to give him a more even distribution of skin, since Ethan is not wounded, just really old and etoliated. I’d also repaint him as less putrefying and more aged. It could work!!

My TV viewing this season

My TV viewing this season published on No Comments on My TV viewing this season

I watch TV shows exclusively online because a) I’m not tied to a specific airing time and b) I can stream them in the background while working. Interestingly enough, I find that many TV shows work perfectly fine without the images as radio shows because the clearly differentiated voices and the overdetermining music provide enough clues as to what’s going on so that actually seeing the screen isn’t necessary. Forthwith, my current slate:

Bones. I watch this primarily for the great chemistry between David Boreanaz [Seeley] and Emily Deschanel [Bones]. After a flaccid, frankly  boring start to season 3, the quality has picked up, both in the writing and in the mysteries. Though I find the increased prominence of the earnest, lonely, overanalytical and geeky psychologist Sweets charming, I’m still bitter at the writers for dispensing with Zach at the end of Season 2. His out-of-character departure ruined the wonderful rapport between the "squints" on Bones’ team.

The Colbert Report. Amusing mild parody. I enjoy watching how much fun Stephen Colbert has with his character.

The Daily Show. Amusing mild parody. Jon Stewart’s straight-man mugging STILL hasn’t gotten old for me.

Fringe. Painfully stupid, chronically incoherent and blitheringly underpsychologized, this simplistic show is one that I love to hate. I also like listening to it because it’s so anvilicious that I don’t even need to look at the pictures. Will never be forgiven for its mangling of the "Boston" setting.

Heroes. You know, back in season 1, I used to like this show. However, I think it hit its peak with the season 1 ep, "Company Man," focusing on Noah Bennet and family. Since then it has imploded on itself repeatedly, reformatting character development multiple times, introducing and dropping characters at alarming speed, creating plot holes so large that they could expand and engulf the universe and, msot criminally, turning all the characters into impetuous, stupid morons. Like Fringe, it requires no brains or even eyeballs to appreciate its schlockiness.

House. I actually really like this show, mostly because I really like watching Hugh Laurie act like an arrogant genius bastard. Brilliant comedy!

The Office. I watch this not for the plot or even the characters, but because its small moments accurately capture the combination of zealotry, awkwardness and puzzlement characterizing white-collar at-work interactions. The characters’ strange antics aren’t so amusing as the other characters’ often deadpan reactions to said antics.

Psych. I’m conflicted about this show. It’s a comic detective show about a guy who pretends to be a psychic for a police department. It would be a slight, silly diversion, except for the fact that the fake psychic’s reluctant partner and best friend is a black dude who suffers slapstick indignities and gets ordered around by the fake psychic all the time. Very Stepin Fetchit. No new eps until January, by which time I will probably have conclusively determined that it’s a racist cesspool and therefore left it alone.

Supernatural. Even though this show suffered a largely plotless third season and even though it suffers from such misogyny that it kills off all female characters or makes them disappear, I’m still a loyal fan of this show who will be watching it through the bitter end of season 5. Actually, it’s more accurate to say that I will be watching JENSEN ACKLES AS DEAN WINCHESTER through the bitter end of season 5. Ackles and co-star Padalecki consistently use their nuanced portrayals of the brothers to turn the occasional mediocre script and hammy line into a sincere, layered portrayal of fraternal devotion. Also, in case you haven’t noticed, I think Ackles is hot. With an angel charging Dean with aversion of the Apocalypse, there seems to be an interesting plot for season 4, so I’m excited about the show on a structural level again, which I haven’t been since the end of season 1. Let’s hope that the Apocalypse doesn’t fizzle like the demon war that was supposed to happen after the Winchesters opened up the gate of Hell.

LHF Meanwhile 10: “You Are What You Eat”

LHF Meanwhile 10: “You Are What You Eat” published on No Comments on LHF Meanwhile 10: “You Are What You Eat”

In which we learn what the LHF cast’s diets reveal about their personalities. http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=62

Comments: I’ve been amassing quite the collection of 1:6 foods — a seemingly useless endeavor since most of my 1:6ers run on bloods. However, LHF vampires CAN eat food, although it’s about as nutritional for them as celery is for mortals; my vampires prefer blood, but eat mortal food for nostalgic reasons and because they like the taste.

Anyway, this ep exists primarily to show off a very small fraction of my mini edibles. Will is eating a soft-serve chocolate cone eraser from Iwako. Iwako is an awesome importer of Japanese erasers in the shape of food, household items and animals. Anneka is eating an Iwako sandwich, disassemblable to reveal tomato slices and lettuce. Janet is drinking out of an Iwako coffee cup. Velvette has a plate with an Iwako corn cob and some veggies I made myself. The carrots are painted toothpicks. The cucumbers are painted slices of a glue stick. Rori is chugging from an Iwako carton. Andrew is eating an Iwako burger, disassemblable to reveal separate patty and lettuce. Davry is making orange juice with an orange, juicer and pitcher from a Rement set. Baozha is eating Iwako soup. Chow uses a functional clay teapot that I picked up in Chinatown. Materyllis is tasting some food that came with the Barbie My Home Kitchen [seen in background]. Mark holds an Iwako canteloupe. Zinnia Pascale’s can of brains is made by me with a reduced picture of the label pasted on a length of gluestick.

1:6 zombie chow

1:6 zombie chow published on No Comments on 1:6 zombie chow

Zombies can’t always get fresh brains, you know!

Because my Boston area grocery store does not carry canned pork brains in milk gravy D: , I am approximating this 1:6 label with images that have been circulating on the Net. If I ever get a can of pork brains for myself, I will redo this 1:6 label, assuming I don’t vomit copiously and render myself unable to complete this vital task.

If anyone wants to take one for the team and get me a can of pork brains…or at least send me the label, I’d pukiferously eternally appreciate it.

This should print at about 0.75 inches high x 1.5 inches long, but I haven’t tested it.

EDIT: In order for this label to print at the correct size, save the picture to your computer. Then open it with an image editing program like Photoshop or Gimp. You need the imaging program to read the correct sizing information embedded in the file. Otherwise, the label will print out too big.
Continue reading 1:6 zombie chow

Cory, my manananggal in progress

Cory, my manananggal in progress published on 2 Comments on Cory, my manananggal in progress

I got a box of about 8 dolls from Andrea today: 3 arti Barbie bodies, each with an Integrity Toys head, a Candi head, plus 4 or 5 Eversparkle male figs.

I picked up the Eversparkles so that minor male characters can have basic bodies. I also intend to modify one so that Margie, my fat doll, can use it for her body.

I picked up the Integrity Toys dolls because all of their playline headsculpts are extremely hot, but unfortunately out of print. I also thought that the strong, stylized lines of the Integrity sculpts might give me a basis for a doll of Cory, my manananggal.

These are the Integrity Toys dolls I bought from Andrea as they came to me. Andrea took this picture.Continue reading Cory, my manananggal in progress

“Civilized vampire” Halloween costume in progress

“Civilized vampire” Halloween costume in progress published on 1 Comment on “Civilized vampire” Halloween costume in progress

I got a pair of fangs from W**-M**t a few weeks ago for a dollar. I’m very surprised that anything can be purchased for just a buck these days.

Just now I ordered my gravestone shirt from Gravestone Artwear. It’s a black long-sleeved T-shirt with as many emblems of mortality as can possibly be crammed onto one headstone: a skeleton with laurels [=Death victorious] and a scythe holding the sun and the moon, an ouroboros [=eternity], angels and bats. In case that’s not enough death-related imagery, the sleeves have running borders of crossed spades and mattocks, coffins and little death’s heads. If you want to see a picture of the design, go to T-Shirts, then New England Gravestone Rubbing section, then look for the Susanna Jayne stone. It’s beautiful!

I WAS going to order a fake blood bag, but the list price is about $7.00 + the same amount for shipping, and I’m NOT paying that much for a glorified juice box. I think I will try to make my own. If I can do so, then I can miniaturize the pattern and make blood bags for my 1:6 vampires too.

Since I have black pants, the basic parts of my costume are now pretty much set. I’m looking for some more "civilized vampire" accessories, however. I think I’m going to make a button that says "Vampires do it in cold blood" at Zazzle.

1:6 [playscale] vintage canned food labels for Barbies, GI Joes, Cy Girls, etc.

1:6 [playscale] vintage canned food labels for Barbies, GI Joes, Cy Girls, etc. published on No Comments on 1:6 [playscale] vintage canned food labels for Barbies, GI Joes, Cy Girls, etc.

Are your 1:6 dolls, such as Barbies, GI Joes, Cy Girls, etc., hungry? Now you can make them some 1:6 canned goods. I have taken public-domain images of vintage [1910s-1950s] canned goods and reduced them to 1:6, while still maintaining the crispness and detail of each image.

The 11 labels include lima beans, fruit salad, clams, beets, wax beans, spinach, salmon, potatoes, pineapple, peas and pears.

To use these labels, take a link to the PDF or the Word 2003 doc. Cut out each label and wrap it around a cylindrical shape, such as a dowel, a glue stick or a bit of tubing. Labels can be affixed to cans with glue or tape.

Here is the PDF of the labels. Here is the Word 2003 doc of the labels.

Farber Gravestone Collection

Farber Gravestone Collection published on No Comments on Farber Gravestone Collection

In the Farber Gravestone Collection, the American Antiquarian Society collects over 13,000 images of pre-1800 gravestones, many in Massachusetts. Daniel and Jessie Farber were photographers active in the early 20th century. The collection also incorporates the work of other gravestone photographers. It’s very Massachusetts-based. More later after I poke.

Notes about lighting my photos

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Now that I have a designated photo studio [= a corner of my desk], I also have designated photo lights. One is a pharmacy lamp with a regular fluorescent bulb in it. The other is a gooseneck lamp with a full-spectrum bulb in it. I have been taking pictures with various combinations of lights and backgrounds. Here are my results:
Continue reading Notes about lighting my photos

MORE Pirates of the Caribbean? And MORE Princess and the Frog dipshittery.

MORE Pirates of the Caribbean? And MORE Princess and the Frog dipshittery. published on No Comments on MORE Pirates of the Caribbean? And MORE Princess and the Frog dipshittery.

Johnny Depp signs on to do Pirates 4. Stop beating a dead horse to death, Disney.

Also, we get a preview of Disney’s horrid Princess and the Frog [previously discussed here], with a princess of color, and ohhhhhh…it’s sick. Why in the squackity squack is the firefly missing teeth and talking like Jiminy Cricket in blackface? Also, "Tiana’s" very stretchy face and wide mouth make her a knock-off of Ariel. It makes me want to PUKE kick my heels up and PUKE throw my hands up and PUKE throw my head back and PUKE… [Apologies to the Temptations.]

Fat doll

Fat doll published on No Comments on Fat doll

One thing that pisses me off about 1:6 dolls is the lack of variety in body shapes. In terms of easily available bodies for fems, you’ve got the Cy Girl shape [curvy, busty and hippy], the Barbie shape [scrawny and pointily boobular] and the Obitsu shape [slim and roundedly boobular]. However, the average woman is pear-shaped, therefore best approximated by a wider Cy Girl pulled down by gravity. Thus, I have no average-shaped women in my cast, though I do like to make them meaty and broad in the beam by using CG bodies as a base for most.

Not only do I have no really average-shaped women in my cast, but I have no fat women! I mean, God forbid that anyone make a doll with a double chin, wide neck, saggy tummy rolls, massive thighs and jiggly upper arms! I would totally get one.

Since no company I know makes fem dolls with realistic fats, I have to make one myself. She’s going to be a minor character, Absinthe’s sort-of foster mother, Margie, a mortal Native American hairdresser whose last name escapes me at the moment, but it’s something French-Canadian, I think.

I’m thinking that I will use a male body, probably a Dragon one, for the base, since that will provide some bulk across the chest, arms and legs. I’m also thinking that her breasts and her fats around the upper arms, upper legs and torso can be created by cotton batting. The cotton batting will create the appropriate girth, while also being compressible and thus poseable.

As for Margie’s head, I’m looking for a headsculpt that’s full and round already. CG02 [Jet/Kat/Sky] is a possibility. Mattel’s Rosie O’Donnell doll is also a possibility, but I really don’t like that stupid smile of hers. I’m sure there are some male sculpts that could work with a little carving. [I swear…so many of the male sculpts have HUGE schnozzes.]

LHF 2.8: “Deliver Me from Evil”

LHF 2.8: “Deliver Me from Evil” published on No Comments on LHF 2.8: “Deliver Me from Evil”

In which we learn how Will died. 

Comments: Previously, in LHF, Anneka and Will were up in Vermont, struggling in their own ways with Anneka’s grandmother’s death. Disturbed by flashbacks of the deaths of himself and his parents, Will finally reveals to Anneka what’s on his mind. We find out how Will was turned into a vampire and just how stupid his first clan was.

Again, both Anneka and Will are in distress and, again, they aren’t touching. This does not bode well.

 http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=58

Lazy furniture: stool, end table, vanity

Lazy furniture: stool, end table, vanity published on 1 Comment on Lazy furniture: stool, end table, vanity

See photos of some of my lazy 1:6 furniture below, including a list of materials of those things I made myself. Tonight we’re looking at Will’s vanity, a generic end table and a stool from the Nightcrawler. Continue reading Lazy furniture: stool, end table, vanity

Things I Learned from British Ballads

Things I Learned from British Ballads published on No Comments on Things I Learned from British Ballads

The original post is a hilarious summation of depressing ballad plotlines, as sung in the British Isles. The comments, though, with their submissions of dry humor from hundreds of commenters, really elevate the original post to supernal heights. I’m giving this its own tag because I like to find this post periodically and laugh at it.

Woo hoo! I found a 1:6 cafe table top!

Woo hoo! I found a 1:6 cafe table top! published on No Comments on Woo hoo! I found a 1:6 cafe table top!

I got a round plastic lid from an industrial-size jar of pretzels at work. The lid, besides being bright red and therefore fabulous, is just the right size for the cafe table I need for the Nightcrawler [or dining room scenes]. I can use some of my carpentry scraps to make a pedestal for it. It will then fit in beautifully with the rest of my furniture made out of cardboard boxes, wooden crates, music boxes, etc. I should take pictures of some of my "lazy furniture" and "lazy decor." While I have purchased some things, about 50% of my furniture and accessories are things that I have assembled myself.

Little Will’s little hair

Little Will’s little hair published on No Comments on Little Will’s little hair

Size 4-5 Erika wig from Monique looks about right. $13.50. [Also in the same general style are Andrea, Bernadette, Breanna and Clarissa.] Goddamn…at the rate Little Will is going, he is going to get his own storyline because I have sunk a lot of money into him trying to get him to look appropriately Victorian. >:

Experiments with desktop photo studio

Experiments with desktop photo studio published on 1 Comment on Experiments with desktop photo studio

Tonight I was filming an ep. I accidentally discovered that the colors as seen under my full-spectrum light were more realistic and much less yellow than those seen under fluorescents. Therefore I placed one full-spectrum in front of my subject as shown and then took some example shots.

Conclusions: Full-spectrum light obviates yellow correction in post-production. Full-spectrum also errs on the side of excess blue, but, since most of my characters are cold and dead, I welcome the increase in blue light, which seems thinner and crisper than the thick, yellow, sludgy light.

Also, the crisper the light, the better my photos. My wienie of a camera functions best in full-blown natural light, which is best approximated by full-spectrum bulbs. Ergo, under my full-spectrum experiments tonight, I achieved sharp levels of detail and color more accurate than that under fluorescents.

Also, Will looks incredibly sexy in black.Continue reading Experiments with desktop photo studio

Little Will has little Victorian clothes!

Little Will has little Victorian clothes! published on 1 Comment on Little Will has little Victorian clothes!

Andrea sold me the Antique Dreaming Momoko outfit for Little Will. Here’s a link to the doll displaying the outfit. Unfortunately, the doll is not included in my purchase. However, the outfit includes a long-sleeved, somber dress, a pinafore and BLOOMERS! [Also socks and shoes.] I’m very excited about the bloomers, which make the outfit that much more stupendous. I really should take a whack out of Little Will’s legs and make his hair more Victorian [e.g., ringlets].

LHF Tale of Two Sisters: “The Guiltbot”

LHF Tale of Two Sisters: “The Guiltbot” published on No Comments on LHF Tale of Two Sisters: “The Guiltbot”

In which Velvette and Viktor frolic in a cemetery…

Comments: In the last Tale of Two Sisters,  we watched as Viktor, a sexbot created by one of said sisters, Janet, fought with his owner, Sibley. Now we watch the fallout of Viktor’s fight with Sibley as Viktor takes his master’s commands to heart…

http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=52

Photo studio on desk and results

Photo studio on desk and results published on 1 Comment on Photo studio on desk and results

I got some new lamps recently and made the following set-up… Below that is a picture of the results, slightly corrected for color and darkness. I’m pleased with the results. With proper lighting, my crappy camera takes crisp photos!
Continue reading Photo studio on desk and results

1:6ers I lust after

1:6ers I lust after published on 1 Comment on 1:6ers I lust after

I’ve found my cut-off point beyond which I think a 1:6 doll is not worth the price: $100. Even dolls that hit the $100 mark make me pause. Unfortunately, there are several dolls in the $100+ category that I’ve been coveting for years, but which I can’t really justify the cost of.

1. Momoko. Her neat little engaging face has always charmed me. I like the ones with dark hair and subdued makeup. I really like Mama Told Me [available at Junky Spot], but she’s $160, $100 of which seems to be for the doll itself and $60 for the outfit. I’m NOT paying that much for an outfit, no matter how attractive it is, if it can’t fit more than one of my dolls. Of all the dolls on this list, it is most probable that I will eventually get a Momoko, especially if I can find one nude <$70.

2. Sakurana. It’s the side-glancing eyes and the little smirk that get me. She looks like she’s up to something devious. Deviousness does not come cheap, though, because her price ranges between $140 and $160 [available at Manika]. Sigh…I have a weakness for smirky dollies.

3. Misaki. Integrity Toys only releases these Fashion Royalty dolls in limited editions, which drives up the price even more. I like the Misaki headsculpt in general, with its strong jawline and overblown lips, but I’m particularly enamored of Posh Girl Misaki, with her smart tailored outfit, stylized freckles and dark lips. However, she’s north of $200 [also available at Manika at the same link as Sakurana].

Fringe — blah.

Fringe — blah. published on No Comments on Fringe — blah.

The much-vaunted Fringe is an X-Files knock-off concerning FBI agent Olivia Dunham, mad scientist Walter Something-or-Other and his annoying genius caretaker son Peter. They run around Boston and environs investigating things like synthetic diseases that dissolve your skin and murderous psychopaths who feed on the pituitary glands of dead prostitutes. They get regular help from a band called Massive Attack company called Massive Dynamic and regular encouragements from their director, who thinks that these "fringe science" events are all part of a weird Pattern.

All the characters neglect to notice the most sinister evidence of the Patten. Namely, it has messed up the very fabric of the Boston metro area! Suddenly, Harvard allows mad genius’ labs to a) take up the whole cellar of a building, b) remain untouched for 17 years and c) house Holsteins without special permits! Creepy ornate mental institutions appear on pastoral grounds in Essex County! The Fenway suddenly boasts an elevated highway! Stoughton apparently has a riverside or seaside warehouse section! And viewers across the state hurl their TVs or computers across the room in frustration!

Did I mention that I don’t care about any of the characters and I don’t know why they’re so interested in this Pattern?

Verdict: It’s a third-rate X-Files with no sense of place. May stave off boredom during really slow days at work, but don’t expect anything truly interesting.

Today’s topic sentence: Rements are awesome.

Today’s topic sentence: Rements are awesome. published on No Comments on Today’s topic sentence: Rements are awesome.

Rement’s a brand name for small, plastic, realistically colored, finely molded, hand-painted models of food, household goods, animals and other related stuff, made by a Japanese company called Rement. The stuff is ~1:6, usually a bit smaller, so it works well with fashion dolls and 12" action figs, a.k.a. the cast of LHF. It is made in themed sets, like "Princess Tea Party," "What’s For Dinner?,""Kawaii Kitchen," etc. Rement is the company name, and the stuff goes by Puchi Petites in the US, but most people I know call the models Rements. Because of their high levels of both quality and cuteness, Rements cause masturbation mass evacuation of wallets non-stop high-pitched squealing to those who are interested in these things.Continue reading Today’s topic sentence: Rements are awesome.

Better photography I: better lights!

Better photography I: better lights! published on 1 Comment on Better photography I: better lights!

Since the days are growing shorter up here in the North Pole Boston metro area, I cannot depend on natural sunlight to illuminate my photostories, especially if I want to take pictures after work. Therefore, I need artificial lights.Continue reading Better photography I: better lights!

Note to “values voters”: racism AIN’T political satire

Note to “values voters”: racism AIN’T political satire published on No Comments on Note to “values voters”: racism AIN’T political satire

At the recent Value Voters Summit, 2 grade A nimrods sold souvenir boxes of Obama Waffles, linking Obama with Aunt Jemima, Muslim myths ["Point box toward Mecca for better waffles!"], stereotypes about rap [bilge on side of box] and generations of pop-eyed African-American mascots with smiles bigger than their heads. See this video for details of Obama waffles packaging and the disingenuous justifications of the nimrods for spreading their hatred.

When confronted directly with this train wreck of sexism, racism, exoticism and general stupidity, said nimrods protested that they "didn't even think of" the Aunt Jemima comparisons. They insisted that their product was "political satire." No, it's not. They're just bigots trying to fit into satirists' clothing. What dipsticks!

LHF 2.7: “Lonely Hour”

LHF 2.7: “Lonely Hour” published on No Comments on LHF 2.7: “Lonely Hour”

In which Anneka discusses with Pippilotta the difficulties of death. http://oddpla.net/lhf/?p=51
Comments: When we last checked in with our undead protagonists, Anneka and Will were up in Vermont with Anneka’s dying grandmother. While Will has flashbacks to his own death, Anneka also takes her grandma’s illness hard and tries to console herself with help from her best friend.

LHF books to get

LHF books to get published on No Comments on LHF books to get

Preachers, Patriots and Plain Folks, sold by the Association for Gravestone Studies, covers the Granary, King’s Chapel and Central cemeteries in Boston. Chow is buried in Central.

The Log of the Union
is a log of a global circumnavigation by Chow’s employer, Captain John Boit Jr., in 1794-1796.

Tituba, Reluctant Witch of Salem Village is an educated reconstruction of Tituba’s life before, during and after the Salem witch trials.

Food for the Dead is about rural New Englanders’ folk medicine against the threat of tuberculosis. Absinthe’s corpse was burned in this tradition.

My putative Halloween costume

My putative Halloween costume published on No Comments on My putative Halloween costume

We might be going to a Halloween party this year. If I go, I think I’ll be a vampire, you know, like an LHF vampire, only slightly more conspicuous, with…

Black outfit, including T-shirt with a headstone on it
Plastic fangs
IV bag with blood in it attached to pants [vampiric equivalent of a water bottle]
Button with a garlic bulb on it and a line through it [NO GARLIC]
Button with VAMPIRES DO IT IN COLD BLOOD
Coffin purse to carry things in
Sunglasses [or flip-down sunglasses attached to my glasses]
Something to protect myself from vampire killers

The good news is that all of this is easily procurable, except for the IV / blood bag.

I found a blood bag!

Also beautiful gravestone T-shirts with Massachusetts stone designs on them. Or I could design my own.

Charlie Gibson interviewing a highly unqualified Sarah Palin

Charlie Gibson interviewing a highly unqualified Sarah Palin published on 1 Comment on Charlie Gibson interviewing a highly unqualified Sarah Palin

As far as I can tell, the entire interview went something like this:

Gibson: [Incisive question seeking specifics about Palin’s policies and qualifications.]

Palin: [Irrelevant canned blather full of generalities and evasion.]

Here’s the part that really highlighted her evasion:
Continue reading Charlie Gibson interviewing a highly unqualified Sarah Palin

Karito Kids dolls

Karito Kids dolls published on 2 Comments on Karito Kids dolls

Every time I’m in Arlington Center, I stop by Henry Bear’s Park, an independent toy store that stocks a pleasing array of Japanese food erasers. Besides the erasers, I also like to admire the dolls, especially the Only Hearts Club and the Groovy Girls. Recently, I’ve been ogling the Karito Kids.

These newcomers to the doll scene are about 22" high, their minimal articulation compensated for by their friendly, engaging faces [they all have slight half-smirks] and high-quality clothes. In another bonus, they span different ethnicities, with slightly different sculpts for each doll. I’ve only seen Gia up close, but I can attest that all the dolls are cute and very huggable, with a pleasing heft.

There’s some painfully hipsterish charity option attached to the purchase of each Karito Kid, but I don’t really care because they are awesome, and I want one. They are about $100 each, which is cheaper than your average high-end 1:6 action figure [I’m looking at YOU, Hot Toys Young Indiana Jones] and much cheaper than anything in resin.

Halogen work lights!

Halogen work lights! published on 2 Comments on Halogen work lights!

A bike photographer, Ray Dobbins, describes his simple, inexpensive set-up for taking clear photos with realistic color balance. His secret weapon is HALOGEN WORK LIGHTS. He uses 2, pointed at the ceiling, and apparently this sheds enough white ambient light all around to provide sharp, detailed pictures with relatively accurate color. Obviously I need some of these before I get so frustrated with all my yellow fluorescents that I launch them out the window.

The comments about this page on BoingBoing add some alternatives to the main set-up.

I want an Anus.

I want an Anus. published on No Comments on I want an Anus.

I’ll name her Asshole! That’s pronounced ah-SHOW-lee, philistines.

Interestingly enough, DOA does not seem to have picked up on the awesomeness of Anus, either in news or discussion threads.

No, seriously, I kind of do want one for shits and giggles [but mostly shits :p]. She’s like Lishe’s hot older sister. Plus, she has a hilarious name. It’s the kind of $600+ joke that keeps on giving.

EDIT: It’s the $250 joke that keeps on giving. That’s a pretty high price for some head…

2.5 minutes of pure, super-saturated fun: Oktapodi

2.5 minutes of pure, super-saturated fun: Oktapodi published on 2 Comments on 2.5 minutes of pure, super-saturated fun: Oktapodi

Watch two octopi try to escape obsessed sushi truck driver in this brilliant animated short. Best parts: The squeaking sound effects for the octopi…also the exasperated look that the pink one gets on its face right before the very end. This is almost making up for the crappy week I’m having.

Immortality of Soul’s Anus

Immortality of Soul’s Anus published on 2 Comments on Immortality of Soul’s Anus

Korean BJD company Immortality of Soul has a new girl doll out. She’s actually quite beautiful, except for her name. Her name is Anus. Insert your own sexual and scatalogical jokes here. All I have to say is this: Anus is a doll born to wear Pubis Club.Continue reading Immortality of Soul’s Anus

Third-rate superhero of the day: Pierce, Master of Tunnels

Third-rate superhero of the day: Pierce, Master of Tunnels published on 1 Comment on Third-rate superhero of the day: Pierce, Master of Tunnels

Pierce is a young woman whose talent is making tunnels in inanimate objects. She discovered her power when she was shoveling the driveway of her childhood home and she got trapped under an avalanche of April Vermont snowbanks. She dug herself out and discovered that her talent for piercing things extended to materials beyond snow.

Pierce is, of course, heavily pierced, as are her clothes. Her interests incude confetti-making and needlepoint. For extreme thrills, she practices self-suspension. She makes her best holes when she is really angry, excited or turned on. For this reason, she keeps a cordless drill on her at all times. There are lots of holes in her crafting table and her bedstead.

Pierce lives in the Boston area, where she moved because she is the only person in the region who thinks that the Big Dig is fucking awesome. She works as a document technician for Boring Investments Transnational, located in the Financial District, which means that she prints and binds documents. She likes her job because she gets to punch holes in things.

And I am really really not, no never, going to make a doll of her, despite the fact that she could have all these little piercings and beads dangling from her clothes, and her accessories could be a little cordless drill and a bag of 1:6 confetti, and I could take pictures of her next to various parts of the Callahan Tunnel and other parts of the former Big Dig, and she could be saying, "Wow!" and everyone else would be rolling their eyes….

Oh, who am I kidding?

Tonner, yum yum, and Medicom, sigh sigh.

Tonner, yum yum, and Medicom, sigh sigh. published on 1 Comment on Tonner, yum yum, and Medicom, sigh sigh.

I've always enjoyed looking at Tonner's 1:4 offerings, though I've never had sufficient incentive to branch out into YET ANOTHER scale. Tonner used to be all dull, baby-faced fashion dolls with ridiculously foreshortened skulls, but they've really grown up and improved over the past 10 years. They now boast a wide variety of desirable licenses and original characters. DeeAnna Denton, with a figure reminiscent of a voluptuous 1950s pinup, caught my eye just now. Both her facial features and her physique remind me of Bettie Page. I think someone could use a DeeAnna as a perfect base for Page.

In other news, I still have a crush on Hot Toys' Medicom's forthcoming 1:6 Young Indiana Jones doll, in part because it looks like Will and also because all their celebrity sculpts are so detailed and realistic. Damn $150 1:6ers. 🙁

Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia

Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia published on No Comments on Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia

This Web site contains overviews of stereotypes working against black men and women. It will help me whenever I write that illustrated essay about Aunt Jemima ads, which the site puts into context with the essay about the Mammy stereotype. For modern pertinence, I particularly recommend the essay about the Sapphire stereotype [rude, bossy, critical black woman] and current attempts to squish Michelle Obama into said little box.

1:6 “sexy schoolgirl” Sarah Palin :(

1:6 “sexy schoolgirl” Sarah Palin :( published on 3 Comments on 1:6 “sexy schoolgirl” Sarah Palin :(

Herobuilders, home of right-wing wing-nut crappy action figures of political figures, offers a Sarah Palin doll in various outfits, such as a pantsuit, a sexy schoolgirl outfit and a leather superspy. It’s so offensively bad on all levels, from the virulent sexism and misogyny to the shoddy craftsmanship, cheap opportunism and associated ranting narrow-minded conservative bilge. I’m deeply offended as a woman, a liberal AND a doll dude.

Oh hey sexism against Palin! aka Salon is not progressive.

Oh hey sexism against Palin! aka Salon is not progressive. published on 2 Comments on Oh hey sexism against Palin! aka Salon is not progressive.

As illustration for a dipshitty article about "Mistress Palin," the dipshits at Salon added a dipshitty Photoshop of Palin dominating a moose, which is supposed to represent the country.Continue reading Oh hey sexism against Palin! aka Salon is not progressive.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: Mediocre.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: Mediocre. published on No Comments on Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: Mediocre.

So I just checked out a 42-minute movie, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, on Hulu. It’s a love triangle story between aspiring evil mad scientist Dr. Horrible, macho doofus Captain Hammer and activist mushball Penny. It was truly tragic that such witty dialog, catchy songs and all-around solid performances were called into service for an UTTERLY UNORIGINAL AND SEXIST PLOT. I object to the purity, innocence, naivete and kindness of the mushball Penny because these qualities did not make her an effective foil character for the guys; they just objectified her and made her an unintelligent, unperceptive pawn. Her character was so unoriginal, boring and unattractive that I almost quit watching. Vomit vomit vomit. I’m especially annoyed by the putrid sexual politics of this movie because the creators, Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, are known for slightly more complex, interesting and dynamic portrayals of important female characters. The songs, acting and script were all good, but the plot fucking sucked. Therefore, the film overall gets a mediocre rating, and I’m so deeply offended by the stale sexism that I can’t, in good conscience, recommend this to anyone.

P.S. Stalking is not cute, comedic or romantic.

Review of Sideshow’s The Dead Babysitter, aka ZINNIA PASCALE IS HERE!

Review of Sideshow’s The Dead Babysitter, aka ZINNIA PASCALE IS HERE! published on No Comments on Review of Sideshow’s The Dead Babysitter, aka ZINNIA PASCALE IS HERE!

Zinnia Pascale arrived Tuesday. I took pictures of her for a pictorial review, as no one on the Web has done so for this Sideshow fig. So, forthwith, a review of the Sideshow Toy The Dead Babysitter 1:6 action figure. 
Continue reading Review of Sideshow’s The Dead Babysitter, aka ZINNIA PASCALE IS HERE!

Spam + peaches + broiler = fiesta?

Spam + peaches + broiler = fiesta? published on 1 Comment on Spam + peaches + broiler = fiesta?

An ad for "Spam Fiesta Peach Cups" in Family Circle, April, 1956, would have you think so. Even given some of the gloriously flamboyant casseroles of this period, this recipe still sounds like the half-baked brain fart of a desperate, hung-over promotions board hopped up on Vivarin.Continue reading Spam + peaches + broiler = fiesta?

Wheelchairs keep you from EVER having fun.

Wheelchairs keep you from EVER having fun. published on No Comments on Wheelchairs keep you from EVER having fun.

So implies this ad for Goodyear Tires from the August 2, 1937 issue of Life. Everyone looks depressed about the fact that the boy’s in a wheelchair, from the boy himself to his sister and even the dog. I’d be kind of depressed too if I were teetering on the edge of a porch [notice that Sis has one leg up on a step] without a freakin’ guard rail.

Besides the equation of wheelchair use and complete cessation of enjoyable life, also note ad’s use to guilt to sell you tires: "Buy these tires or your son will end up CRIPPLED and MISERABLE because YOU didn’t by blow-out-proof tires."

Thank you, Gallery of Graphic Design, for this ad, along with an endless bounty of other 20th-century ads.
Continue reading Wheelchairs keep you from EVER having fun.

More anti-Palin sexism

More anti-Palin sexism published on No Comments on More anti-Palin sexism

Oh joy, there’s more misogynistic goodness added to my SocIm post about anti-Palin sexism, including more heinous examples contributed by commenters. There’s enough material to criticize her on, including her anti-choice, pro-guns, anti-sex-end, pro-abstinence, politically corrupt, nepotistic wheeling and dealing. One’s sex is not a point of criticism, mockery or contention. Grow up, you stupid bigots! Man, I get so exhausted at societal stupidity sometimes. 

I laughed; I cried; I horked. Therianthropes and abominations…

I laughed; I cried; I horked. Therianthropes and abominations… published on No Comments on I laughed; I cried; I horked. Therianthropes and abominations…

You know how I was talking about the Old Spice centaur recently? Well, apparently, the Web site for the Double Impact shower gel shows the male model in hybrids with other animals and things [YouTube video here].

1. Man/slug. [Why are his pecs heaving like that?]

2. Man/cannon [aimed right at you, ready to fire balls].

3. Man/"mighty redwood tree."

4. Man/cobra.

5. Man/octopus.

6. Man/fishstick.

7. Man/tap-dancing cowboy.

8. Man/tank [gun pointed directly at you].

Eurgh. That video made me want to throw up. I love therianthropes, even if they are people combined with tentacular things or snakes, so I’m certainly not puking at the combination of humans with non-human animals. I’m puking at the crappy artistic values of the hybridization and the undiscriminating stupidity of the philosophical concept behind the commercial. Not only are all the non-human parts obviously static and image-doctored, but they are also completely inconsistent, including living things, non-living things, other humans, non-human animals, plants, food and weapons. Pick a class of objects and stick with it, people. Seriously, watching that video gives me a stomach-turning case of thematic whiplash.

La Revolte des Mannequins: life-size, changing tableaux

La Revolte des Mannequins: life-size, changing tableaux published on No Comments on La Revolte des Mannequins: life-size, changing tableaux

Over a period of 10 days in February this year, mannequins were set up in successive poses in Nice, France to illustrate tableau-style various episodes of several running storylines. At the end of each day, workers removed the mannequins from their positions and posed them in new positions and outfits to reflect the progress of their associated storyline. There were 14 storylines to follow during this exhibition, all of them weird to begin with and made even eerier by the use of 1:1 dolls. Visit the blog, with photos of all stories, at La Revolte des Mannequins. I especially recommend L’Anniversaire de Grand-Pere [Grandpa’s Birthday], in which a little girl vampire wakes her granddad out of his coffin to celebrate his birthday.

“Here’s an F.Y.I. You’re all gonna die screaming”: the awesomeness of zombies part V

“Here’s an F.Y.I. You’re all gonna die screaming”: the awesomeness of zombies part V published on 1 Comment on “Here’s an F.Y.I. You’re all gonna die screaming”: the awesomeness of zombies part V

Okay, I know all zero of you were on tenterhooks, waiting for the final installment in my epic examination of the kick-assitude of modern pop zombies, so here it is. After reviewing several reasons for the pandemic of modern pop zombies in parts one, two and three, I gave my own explanation in part four. Zombies are extreme vampires. I explain what that means here in part five.

Zombies are more extreme than vampires in a few ways.

Continue reading “Here’s an F.Y.I. You’re all gonna die screaming”: the awesomeness of zombies part V

Now ranting about pop culture for a larger audience!

Now ranting about pop culture for a larger audience! published on 1 Comment on Now ranting about pop culture for a larger audience!

As of this weekend, I’m a member blogger at Sociological Images, a blog staffed mostly by people with advanced sociological degrees who collect pop culture images for sociological commentary and analysis. In my inaugural post, I discuss the sexist "McCain/MILF ’08" crap that’s already being marketed mere seconds after the news that Alaskan gov Sarah Palin is McCain’s VP pick. I’m looking forward to blogging there; I think it will be a lot of fun.

Tale of Two Sisters 3: “Metallic Man”

Tale of Two Sisters 3: “Metallic Man” published on No Comments on Tale of Two Sisters 3: “Metallic Man”

When we last left The Tale of Two Sisters, said sisters Velvette and Janet weren’t getting along. Janet’s creation, the cyborg Viktor, is also not getting along with his master Sibley [who has a potty mouth!]. They’re even taking their fights out in public, much to the distress of mild-mannered bookstore owner Mark.

Decora V: Am I tacky yet?

Decora V: Am I tacky yet? published on 2 Comments on Decora V: Am I tacky yet?

I got some beading elastic, fake fur and pompoms last night. New developments in decora include elastic bracelets made of small glass beads and FURRY LEGWARMERS WITH POMPOMS!!!! The more that I photograph Frank in this style, the more I see how its loud, bright flourishes of pattern and color are perfect for his flamboyant, cheerful personality. I fear it will be difficult to pry the clothes away from him when Zinnia Pascale arrives….Continue reading Decora V: Am I tacky yet?

Decora four-a: more stripes! More glitter!

Decora four-a: more stripes! More glitter! published on 1 Comment on Decora four-a: more stripes! More glitter!

Following Andrea’s advice to eschew unpatterned solids, I removed the white arm sleeves, pink stockings and red pleather vest. Now the stockings are multi-colored stripes. The vest is purple with silver glittery spots. I subbed the origami choker for a ruby/diamond ring and a lock pendant with rhinestones. Still to do: Make hair doo-dads. Make eyepatch [as Zinnia Pascale is missing an eye]. Make one earring [or two, depending on how many ears she has].
Continue reading Decora four-a: more stripes! More glitter!

“Things are okay, except that I’m a zombie now”: the ubiquity of zombies IV

“Things are okay, except that I’m a zombie now”: the ubiquity of zombies IV published on No Comments on “Things are okay, except that I’m a zombie now”: the ubiquity of zombies IV

My fantastically fascinating essay about zombies in modern pop culture continues, trying to find out why we think zombies are so rockin’ awesome. Parts I and II looked at political parallels between us and zombies, while part III looked at the links between the administrative industry and zombiehood. None of these aforementioned theories about the prevalence of zombies are my original ideas, but I do have some speculation of my own about the origins of our collective zombiephilia.

This is my interpretation: Part of the reason we like zombies so much is that, as portrayed in modern pop media, they are extreme vampires. They are perfectly modern monsters in that they threaten humans at the essential seat of their humanity — the brain — thus updating the cannibalistic implications of the vampire for our current scientific state of knowledge.
Continue reading “Things are okay, except that I’m a zombie now”: the ubiquity of zombies IV

Old Spice ad: centaur shills body wash

Old Spice ad: centaur shills body wash published on No Comments on Old Spice ad: centaur shills body wash

Yay! I love centaurs. They are one of my favorite therianthropic creatures. Here’s one shilling for Old Spice Double Impact body wash. Watch the commercial on YouTube, and see a screencap below.
Continue reading Old Spice ad: centaur shills body wash

Decora III: are there enough patterns at work in this outfit?

Decora III: are there enough patterns at work in this outfit? published on 1 Comment on Decora III: are there enough patterns at work in this outfit?

I don’t think so. I think I need ribbon and seed beads for hair doo-dads. Made some more origami bracelets and sewed the flowers onto the vest and the belt. They remind me of squirty flowers for clowns.Continue reading Decora III: are there enough patterns at work in this outfit?

“I’m not a monster, Tom. Well, technically, I am”: the niftiness of zombies part III

“I’m not a monster, Tom. Well, technically, I am”: the niftiness of zombies part III published on No Comments on “I’m not a monster, Tom. Well, technically, I am”: the niftiness of zombies part III

In the past two sections, I’ve been answering the question: Why are zombies so popular here and now?? Section 1 proposed that they are a good metaphor for biological terrorism, while section 2 noted that zombies are perfect metaphors for the American climate of fear and recent governmental hawkishness. Section 3 looks at zombies as embodiments of the white-collar workplace.
 

Continue reading “I’m not a monster, Tom. Well, technically, I am”: the niftiness of zombies part III

“I’ll report back to my colleagues who are chewing on the door”: why zombies are so awesome part II

“I’ll report back to my colleagues who are chewing on the door”: why zombies are so awesome part II published on No Comments on “I’ll report back to my colleagues who are chewing on the door”: why zombies are so awesome part II

I’m exploring the current trendiness of zombies. In a previous section of this essay, I proposed one reason for their current prevalence: They are great metaphors for biological warfare, about which the American populace has been pretty freaked ever since 2001. There are more interesting thematic currents in the zombie bloodstream, though…

Related to my first reason, zombies may also be so popular because people perceive them as an accurate metaphor for the general mental state of the populace: one of loose-brained anxiety. Continue reading “I’ll report back to my colleagues who are chewing on the door”: why zombies are so awesome part II

“All we want to do is eat your brains…”: why zombies are so cool part I

“All we want to do is eat your brains…”: why zombies are so cool part I published on No Comments on “All we want to do is eat your brains…”: why zombies are so cool part I

I’ve been singing Jonathan Coulton’s "Re: Your Brains" for the past few days as I wait for Zinnia Pascale [who shipped today!] and contemplate the intriguing question: Why are zombies so prevalent in pop culture right now?

Zombies are everywhere these days, especially as of the last decade and a half. The Resident Evil video game debuted in 1996, soon spawning a series of both games and films [2002, 2004, 2007] in which impossibly sexy people fight zombies. Combining both the contemporary vogue for cannibalistic undead and how-to manuals, Max Brook’s Zombie Survival Guide appeared in 2003. In 2004, there was a remake of the classic zombie flick Dawn of the Dead, as well as an homage ["hommidge"], Shaun of the Dead. In 2005, as this blog entry notes, flash mobs with people dressed up as zombies were all the rage, a statement supported by San Francisco Zombie Mob, a similar performance project that began in the same year.  The aforementioned song by Jonathan Coulton linking brain-sucking cubicle hell and zombiehood, "Re: Your Brains," was composed in 2006 and quickly gained massive Internet popularity. In 2007, Sideshow Toy, a company that produces fantasy/sci-fi movie and TV collectibles, even started its own original line of 12" figures, The Dead [whence Zinnia Pascale]. The stereotypical zombie cry of "Braaaaaaaains!" has now so saturated the general consciousness that it’s even been parodied with this 2008 T-shirt design by Dennis Culver, in which a "vegan zombie" is saying, "Graaaaaains." I’m not going to even touch on the limitless Web presence of the brains-hungry undead in many Web comics, sites, YouTube videos, etc. They’re ubiquitous.


"Vegan Zombie" by Dennis Culver

…But why? There are many possible reasons:

1. With biological war on the minds of the U.S. citizenry ever since 2001 and the anthrax scare, zombies are an appropriate metaphor for this biologically based contagion. Like biological weapons, zombies deal death in a manner that could easily be attributed to other causes. ["Why did all the cows die?" / "Oh, maybe they’re just sick, or they drank from that nasty creek down the road."] Because the effects of zombies can be mistakenly assigned to other causes, zombies, like biological weapons, may easily catch targets by surprise, spreading their damage much further than the targets suspect.

More later…

EDIT: Section 2 is here.
 

 

I hate Family Guy.

I hate Family Guy. published on No Comments on I hate Family Guy.

A post at Sociological Images about the gendering of sperm and egg in popular media got me thinking. I just saw the “brave little sperm” trope on an episode of Family Guy this Monday. Stewie, the hyper-intelligent, destructive, child genius, was celebrating his first birthday. He reminisced about his life in the womb and before, when he was apparently a tiny pilot in a sperm-shaped aircraft [see YouTube clip].

Stewie’s flashback showed him piloting his sperm ship toward the egg and firing at it in a scene reminiscent of the scene in Star Wars where Luke tries to explode the Death Star. He think thinks about being sucked in and “trapped” inside the egg. The relationship between sperm and egg is shown as adversarial, the egg evil, hungry and encompassing, not unlike a vagina dentata.

Of course, this flashback occurs in the context of a cartoon in which everything is supposed to be exaggerated and humorous. However, the fact remains that the humorous exaggeration is presented with gratuitous violence and misogyny. You might argue that violence and misogyny are part of Stewie’s character, which they are, but the flashback does not develop Stewie’s violence and misogyny in a way peculiar to his personality. Instead it just recycles wholesale a tired, sexist cliche about human reproduction.

And this is just one of many reasons that I hate Family Guy.

 

Decora duds 2.0

Decora duds 2.0 published on No Comments on Decora duds 2.0

Frank models the latest in 1:6 decora duds in the absence of their true owner, Zinnia Pascale, who is in the mail [woohoo!]. Changes include a new skirt, bracelets and choker out of origami paper and the felt zinnia belt buckle that I was talking about [currently attached with a pin because I don’t want to sew it just yet]. I still need some more hair doodads [to be made when I actually get Zinnia Pascale] and some decoration for the backpack. Maybe something cute and dead…

The 1955 Hillman Minx has a “new gay look.”

The 1955 Hillman Minx has a “new gay look.” published on 1 Comment on The 1955 Hillman Minx has a “new gay look.”

Thanks to humorist Dave Barry, we are all aware that the Hillman Minx is one of the silliest cars in existence. The hilarity ratchets up a notch when you look back on this ad from a time not so long ago [1955] when the first meaning of “gay” was NOT “homosexual.”

Lexical annoyances part II

Lexical annoyances part II published on 1 Comment on Lexical annoyances part II

1. “Definitely” is frequently misspelled “definately.” Yeah, that’s how people pronounce it, but it’s wrong.

2. “Who’s” != “Whose.” “Who’s” = “Who is” or “Who has.” “Whose” is the possessive form, meaning “belonging to whom.” 

Whose bringing the cupcakes? WRONG.

Whose turn is it to bring cupcakes? RIGHT.

Who’s bringing the cupcakes? RIGHT.

Who’s turn is it to bring cupcakes? WRONG AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH.

Zinnia: flower and zombie

Zinnia: flower and zombie published on No Comments on Zinnia: flower and zombie

After my decora zombie told me yesterday that her name was Zinnia Pascale, I went to see what zinnias actually look like. Some of them have very bold, rich colors. I think I’m going to reproduce this one, for example, on Zinnia’s belt buckle. Zinnia turned out to be a much more appropriate name than I expected! 

EDIT: I’m going to make her belt buckle out of felt, I think, and her bracelets out of some origami paper. The origami paper has different complicated patterns on each side that will contribute to the cacophony of Zinnia Pascale’s outfit.

Writer’s Block: You and A Fictional Character of Your Choice

Writer’s Block: You and A Fictional Character of Your Choice published on No Comments on Writer’s Block: You and A Fictional Character of Your Choice

I was going to say one of my LHF characters, but most of them would want to drink my blood, which would not be helpful. Therefore, I would have to say JSK because he’s pretty much omnipotent, and we wouldn’t be stranded for long. Instead, we would just be having an unexpected vacation that could instantly end at his discretion.

Decora in progress, modeled by Frank

Decora in progress, modeled by Frank published on No Comments on Decora in progress, modeled by Frank

Frank shows everyone what a Fruit[s] he is by helpfully wearing my decora outfit while I go get a zombie to put in it. Please note that the outfit is a work in progress; I still have to add a belt [craft foam?], various felt or craft foam hair decorations [hearts, teddy bears, kitties, smiley faces, etc.], a purse in the form of a stuffed animal and FUZZY LEGWARMERS!!! That said, I think it looks pretty damn good for having been scrounged entirely from my drawers of spare clothes.

Lexical annoyances

Lexical annoyances published on 1 Comment on Lexical annoyances

1. “Homage” is pronounced with the accent on the first syllable [“hommidge” or “ommidge”], not the second [“home aaaazh” or “ome aaaazh”]. I don’t care how it’s pronounced in French; now that it’s Anglicized, its pronunciation is too.

2. “Unique” does not mean “unusual,” “really cool” or “rare.” “Unique” means “one of a kind.” Its Latin root, “uni-,” means “one,” for God’s sake!  While unique things may be unusual, really cool and/or rare, things that are rare, unusual and/or really cool are not necessarily unique…only if one of them exists in the whole universe.

You know what this world needs?

You know what this world needs? published on 2 Comments on You know what this world needs?

A Fruits zombie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

EDIT: Technically, a decora zombie.

Fuzzy legwarmers, patterned skirts in layers, stripey socks, hair full of barettes and clips, T-shirts with cartoon characters, purses and backpacks with cartoon animals and Very! Bright! Pink!

Enough with the fast-forward Jesus babies!!

Enough with the fast-forward Jesus babies!! published on 1 Comment on Enough with the fast-forward Jesus babies!!

This weekend, I returned to one of my guilty pleasures, the glamorous, cliched, convoluted and opaque BBC series Hex [2005-2007]. This gorgeous trash heap of magic + soft-core porn features fallen angels, lesbian ghosts, witch burning, time traveling, demons in the guise of priests, kinky nurse fairies, blah blah blah, all taking place on the isolated grounds of Medenham Hall, a boarding school populated by 6 sexy students, 2 or 3 teachers and gallons of moody mist.

Anyway, one of the tired plot devices trotted out by Hex is that of the fast-forward Jesus baby. As the result of a Divine Screw between a supernatural male and an ordinary female, the fast-forward Jesus baby develops alarmingly fast from conception to birth. Continue reading Enough with the fast-forward Jesus babies!!

Tituba, Reluctant Witch of Salem Village

Tituba, Reluctant Witch of Salem Village published on 1 Comment on Tituba, Reluctant Witch of Salem Village

I’ve been fascinated by the Salem witchcraft trials for decades. It’s one of the few widely recognized events of American history in which girls and young women were pivotal actors. It’s also one of the few places in early American history where we can hear the voices of girls and women, in their accusations, depositions, confessions, wills and apologies. When I was the age of the afflicted girls, I read with fascination about the mysterious and destructive behavior exhibited by girls who were my age 300 years ago. The primary source documents gave me a vivid sample of their speech and thoughts, while still leaving me with the major question of WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

The influential actions of the afflicted seemed all the more powerful and interesting to me because, even now, centuries later, we have no adequate analyses for WHY the girls acted this way, WHY people believed them and WHY so many were persecuted and/or killed. There are many factors that help us understand the witchcraft trials, including the colonial terror over violent confrontations with Native Americans to the north, Puritan ambivalence toward feminine agency, emotionality and independence, and some sort of religious/class tensions between Salem port and Salem Village having to do with ministers. But, while these subjects clarify certain parts of the witchcraft trials, none of them adequately explain it.

Besides the girls, one of the most interesting people involved with the trials was, in my mind, Tituba Indian. A slave of Samuel Parris, father to one of the afflicted girls, Betty Parris, Tituba was one of the first people accused of witchcraft. [Her husband, John Indian, was also eventually accused.] Tituba eventually confessed, and her confession contributed to the widening of the witch hunt. Though very little is known about her, 19th-century historiography made her out to be a black slave whose weird foreign magic of fortune-telling corrupted the afflicted girls and contributed to their weak minds. However, the 19th-century historiography is tinged with racist bullshit, so there hasn’t been much serious investigation of Tituba’s history outside of the trails…

…Until recently. Elaine Breslaw’s Tituba, Reluctant Witch of Salem Village, shows the author’s fascinating historical archeology and reconstruction of Tituba’s life. Breslaw makes a pretty convincing case that Tituba grew up on a Barbadian sugar plantation surrounded by a cultural melange of African [slave], Native Caribbean [also slave] and English [colonial] perspectives. This cultural mixture influenced the images she used in her confession. Breslaw’s book, full of historical context, argues that Tituba evinced savvy self-preservation skills in her legal statements. And, awesomely enough, the book is HERE on Google books for me to poke through and reread.

For some reason, worthy of another entry, my interest in the Salem witch trials dovetails with my interest in vampires. Even in the earliest days of LHF, I always imagined that there were vampires running around up in Salem who had been witness to, if not participants in, the witch trials. In fact, the leader of one of Salem’s clans, Ethan Stuart [entirely fictional], will play a central role in an upcoming season. Ethan was only a witness to the trials, not a participant.

I think I’m gonna make Tituba a vampire and a character in LHF. 😀 😀 In fact, I’m working on it now.

I want a 12″ Martha Jones and a Clockwork Droid.

I want a 12″ Martha Jones and a Clockwork Droid. published on 1 Comment on I want a 12″ Martha Jones and a Clockwork Droid.

…Primarily because she looks sarcastic. I have no knowledge of Dr. Who, but I do like the dollies! The Martha doll reminds me of one of my characters, but I can’t think who.

I also want a Clockwork Droid because of its very cool outfit.

Conspicuous environmentalism pisses me off.

Conspicuous environmentalism pisses me off. published on 5 Comments on Conspicuous environmentalism pisses me off.

We frequent several grocery stores within walking distance of our apartment: a Whole Foods [for produce], a Trader Joe’s [for frozen food], a local co-op [for milk and quick trips and a Shaw’s/Star Market [for prepared foods and to recycle bottles and plastic bags]. All of these stores sell reusable cloth shopping bags, which we use about 75% of the time. But only Whole Foods sells the reusable bags that piss me off.

As shown in this online store, the annoying reusable bags are bright yellow with the following message on them: I’M SAVING THE PLANET. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

This conspicuous, confrontational environmentalism pisses me off because its point is not just to “save a tree,” but also to “look fashionable while doing it” [quote from organize.com]. I have a problem with pro forma environmentalism where the appearance of environmentalism matters more than actual actions, as is the case with this bag. The text on the bag equates “saving the planet” with using this particular bag or, by extension, making a show of one’s environmentalism. 

Furthermore and much more problematically, the implied contrast between the owner who is “saving the planet” and the audience who is being interrogated suggests that the audience is not doing anything to save the planet. The audience may be doing environmentally conscious activities in other areas of life; or the audience may have mitigating factors that prevent them from spending extra money in order to flaunt their environmentalism like white urban bourgeois hipsters. The bag will not admit of these possibilities. In the limited calculus of the bag, bag = saving the planet = cool. No bag = harming Mother Earth = evil. At first this bag seems like a minor irritant, but it’s actually an explosive mess of classist [and possibly racist] assumptions.

You don’t douche? No wonder you can’t get laid.

You don’t douche? No wonder you can’t get laid. published on 4 Comments on You don’t douche? No wonder you can’t get laid.

From Duke University’s Ad*Access, a digital collection of many ads from the 20th century, comes a 1950 ad for Zonite vaginal douche. Playing directly on fears of ostracism, the ad warns that dire consequences will befall those women who do not douche: “homes broken up, few social invitations, the feeling of being shunned without knowing WHY!” Beware, ladies — heterosexual HELL will be yours unless you harass your vaginal canals with a liquid that removes the self-cleaning mucous secretions of the canal walls themselves and leaves you susceptible to infections. Your husband won’t want to have sex with you; no one will even want to talk to you; society will collapse, and it will all be YOUR FAULT.

Wash. Post article: Twilight’s popularity proves that we are so over feminism.

Wash. Post article: Twilight’s popularity proves that we are so over feminism. published on 2 Comments on Wash. Post article: Twilight’s popularity proves that we are so over feminism.

Leonard Sax argues that the great popularity of the Twilight series among hetero women <25  constitutes proof that we should abandon the ridiculous feminist ideal that men and women should be treated equally. He says:

The fascination that romance holds for many girls is not a mere social construct; it derives from something deeper. 

And what is this “deeper” something? It’s an essentialized gender binary in which women are passive, cuddly and nurturing and men are aggressive, violent and death-dealing.

So basically his argument is that girls still like Twilight because they are biologically programmed to like it; ergo, feminism has failed.

The huge amount of interest in the Twilight books demonstrates only that romance is popular; it does not demonstrate the reasons behind the popularity. Sax’ conclusions of romance as biologically innate and feminism as a stupid failure represent unwarranted leaps of logic. In fact, I could just as easily argue that the popularity of the Twilight series rests on the culturally constructed assumptions that the target readers — hetero girls — are expected and environmentally conditioned to like romance. 

Some people should actually learn how to formulate coherent thoughts before they’re allowed to write for public consumption. :p

I hate when that happens…

I hate when that happens… published on No Comments on I hate when that happens…
Here’s the least nonsensical haiku I could get from a generator that creates haikus from one’s blog entries. I hate it when the godly powers of something shove me out the window. :p

Haiku2 for blogofstench

bristles with gods powers
and borders leaving you to
work out the window

@
Created by Grahame

Current camera crappy

Current camera crappy published on No Comments on Current camera crappy

I was reviewing LHF 1.0 and recent eps of LHF done with my crappy digicam. I realized that, while the stories and lay-out hold up well over time, the poor quality of the photos is glaringly obvious. Therefore, I need a new camera. I am now considering the following:

Canon Power Shot S series
Kodak Easy Share Z series 

Basically I’m looking for a camera that takes good pictures in a variety of lights, has stupendous zoom powers, runs on non-proprietary batteries, has image stabilization and costs <$200. 

EDIT: Kodak Z712 is looking attractive right now.

1:6 Little Will’s clothes

1:6 Little Will’s clothes published on 1 Comment on 1:6 Little Will’s clothes

Tonner’s Alice in Wonderland doll runs 11″, and she has some perfect choices for 1:6 Little Will’s clothes. Classic Alice is always an option, but I’m particularly keen on Victorian Stripes. I wonder if Tonner’s clothes for their 12″ dolls [Marley, Alice, etc.] would fit 1:6ers?

NOTE: The always awesome Agnes Dreary line has 2 dolls of ~12″: Agnes and Victor. Grargh I wish I knew if their clothes fit 1:6ers!

Breaking Dawn reread: Stuff that pisses me off, part I

Breaking Dawn reread: Stuff that pisses me off, part I published on No Comments on Breaking Dawn reread: Stuff that pisses me off, part I

Rereading Breaking Dawn, I discover many small moments of sheer badness that could not be effectively encompassed in my earlier rants [part I, part II, part III].

Bella and Edward are talking during their honeymoon. Bella’s happy with their first night of sex, but Edward thinks she’s not. He thinks she is miserable because he hurt her physically. [Not that she noticed…apparently she was unconscious for most of it? Her dissociation reminds me disturbingly of date rape.] Therefore, Edward is angry at Bella for “lying.” Bella is angry at Edward for thinking that she’s lying. Edward says [p. 93]:

“I didn’t dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn’t…well, the best night of my existence.”

1. Absolutely nobody talks like this. There are way, way too many dependent clauses there. A much more likely way of phrasing the same sentiment is this: “I didn’t think you’d assume that my guilt about last night meant that I didn’t have fun.”

2. Not only is this sentence unrealistic, it’s also way too verbose. Sentences like this appear on every page, which is why the book is ~730 pages, instead of ~300.

3. Edward is an idiot for even thinking this way. To put it simply, after nookie, he is angry with himself, guilty and angry at Bella. Such negative feelings would make any onlooker think that he did not enjoy himself. Edward cannot apparently see how the world at large might interpret his actions. He has a frightening lack of empathy, which may explain why he does such violent and objectifying things to Bella.

 

Twilight: No abusive personalities here, says S. Meyer.

Twilight: No abusive personalities here, says S. Meyer. published on 1 Comment on Twilight: No abusive personalities here, says S. Meyer.

In a 2007 Q&A in Alpharetta, GA, Stephenie Meyer addressed the possibility of Edward being a grade A douchenozzle an abuser. Meyer’s response, transcribed below, illuminates her deluded perceptions of her characters and her dysfunctional relationship toward her fictional products. My comments are in regular face type.

Question 12: There’s been some speculation on the internet….. about Edward being an abusive boyfriend….. ?

Because he IS!

Meyer:  Yeah, yeah, OK. There’s a lot of stuff online that has, honestly, broken my heart recently. It is difficult to read things that take such a negative spin on something that is very personal and also makes a lot of sense inside your head. 

Translation: “Cogent analyses hurt my feewings. I also don’t care if the readers think that Edward makes no sense because…well, he makes sense in my head, and that’s all that matters. I spit upon readers and their demands for narrative coherency!”

I think it’s, I have a hard time with that one because to me you have this kid, sure, he’s a hundred and something, but at the same time he’s also seventeen and it’s the first time he’s been in love. And he fully recognizes that he does things wrong, he’s very aware of that. 

A repentant dude who confiscates your keys because he doesn’t want you going anywhere is still a dude who confiscates your keys. Just because a jealous, possessive emotional wreck recognizes his mistakes does not absolve him of his past stupidity.

Edward at the beginning of Eclipse goes too far one direction. In the middle he’s like, I’m screwing this up, I’m doing this wrong, I’m not being fair. He goes too far in the other direction. He never quite finds the balance because he’s so black or white about everything. But he has only the best of intentions pretty much at all times, and to think of him as either mean or controlling or having any kind of neg- wanting to impact Bella’s life in a negative way is really not how his character is.

Good intentions do not justify jealous, possessive, irrational, controlling behaviors.

On the other hand I get the same thing about Jacob, where he’s too pushy and he’s too physical and he’s causing all these problems. 

“Too pushy” and “too physical” are the most pathetic euphemisms for “sexual assault.” Remember — this character kisses Bella against her will. That’s sexual assault, dudes.

And I don’t think people realize quite the layer, the level of desperation that he’s at. He’s not desperate to make Bella fall in love with him, I mean, that would be an excellent perk. He is desperate to save her life, and if you saw your best friend teetering on the edge of the fifth story of the building, playing with the balcony, you would reach up and yank their arm, even if it would hurt them, because you were trying to save them. And Jacob really is kind of past rationality at that point. 

Translation: “Give Jacob a break. He is so worried about Bella that he can’t think straight. He practically forces himself on her precisely because he is so concerned about her.”

This weak justification reminds me of a common “reason” rapists give for assaulting their victims: “Oh, it was for his/her own good. I was doing him/her a favor because he/she is never going to get any otherwise.”

So I think that people sometimes will go out looking for the negative when really if they gave them the right intentions, I think they are understanding characters better. 

I don’t care what the characters’ intentions were; both Edward’s and Jacob’s behaviors indicate abusive personalities. Their intent and their creator’s intent does not sway my interpretation of their actions.

Twilight, summarized

Twilight, summarized published on No Comments on Twilight, summarized

Amanda Bussell nails the silliness of Twilight. Please note Edward’s completely angular and impenetrable constipation and Bella’s googly brainlessness.

Jesus, there’s an entire Twilight Sucks Web site.

For more mordant humor, look into her Headtrip manga-style cartoon about teenaged girls with sarcastic senses of humor. I enjoy the one-off jokes with recurring characters.

Another doll I have a crush on: J-Doll Picasso Street East!

Another doll I have a crush on: J-Doll Picasso Street East! published on 2 Comments on Another doll I have a crush on: J-Doll Picasso Street East!

Messy purple buns in hair, gloriously mismatching and patterned clothes, inset eyes and highly articulated body = pretty cool. Available [currently as preorder] at Valley of the Dolls. Must…resist…temptation to get dolls that I do not have designated personalities for…Continue reading Another doll I have a crush on: J-Doll Picasso Street East!

Kwanzaa Barbie is hot.

Kwanzaa Barbie is hot. published on 1 Comment on Kwanzaa Barbie is hot.

She reminds me of Velvette. I think they share the same VitC sculpt.

EDIT: As Andrea says, Velvette [Mbili Barbie] and Kwanzaa Barbie share the same headsculpt, which is named after its first appearance, Mbili. As far as I know, only 3 Barbies have been produced with the Mbili sculpt: Mbili, Princess of South Africa and Kwanzaa. Too bad, as she is my favorite.

I’m looking for a doll of this girl.

I’m looking for a doll of this girl. published on 1 Comment on I’m looking for a doll of this girl.

Here’s Cory. She’s my cute manananggal with no fashion sense whatsoever, just like most of my characters. I want a 1:6 doll of her. Does anyone have any suggestions for what head I could use? Restrictions: I’d like something easily obtainable, preferably something that is currently being sold and not too expensive [<$100 for an entire doll]. Because she’s so stylized [long pointy face, full lips, tilted eyes], I think an anime doll might be the best bet.

Twilight: The Parody

Twilight: The Parody published on 1 Comment on Twilight: The Parody

otahyoni has a biting [hah!] parody here. It’s gloriously silly if you haven’t read the book and even better if you have. Thanks to roxyk630 for pointing it out.

Warning: Not for insecure Twilight twits. [And by “twits” I mean those unreasonable fans who think that critical reviews of Breaking Dawn are a betrayal to Stephenie, or that people shouldn’t take the Twilight Saga seriously as an object of literary analysis.]

Detailed 1:6 sets and accessories.

Detailed 1:6 sets and accessories. published on No Comments on Detailed 1:6 sets and accessories.

After viewing these lusciously detailed 1:6 [and other small-scale] sets by Mick Balte, I realize that I need a better camera with super-zoom capabilities to truly do justice to all the dramatic shots I wish to put in my comics. 

Medium Large is funny.

Medium Large is funny. published on 2 Comments on Medium Large is funny.

Four-panel gag strips often imagine futures or alternate jobs for well-known fictional characters. Obviously drawn by a heterosexual white male obsessed with sex. Other than that, amusing. I’d link to the one about “Why There Are No Child News Anchors,” but the %&@#% site won’t let me link to specific comics.

Breaking Dawn review, part III: Bella turns into a baby-breeding ‘bot.

Breaking Dawn review, part III: Bella turns into a baby-breeding ‘bot. published on 34 Comments on Breaking Dawn review, part III: Bella turns into a baby-breeding ‘bot.

Part I is here. Part II is here.

All right, I've fired my first salvo: to wit, Breaking Dawn breaks rules of good fiction by being inconsistent with the logic established in earlier books. Now my second reason for despising Breaking Dawn shall be detailed here. As I mentioned earlier, I find Breaking Dawn "philosophically objectionable." 

Continue reading Breaking Dawn review, part III: Bella turns into a baby-breeding ‘bot.

Breaking Dawn review, part II: Why it deserves serious criticism

Breaking Dawn review, part II: Why it deserves serious criticism published on 6 Comments on Breaking Dawn review, part II: Why it deserves serious criticism

Part I is here.

Okay, I’ve argued that Breaking Dawn is structurally flawed, for which I loathe it deeply. More serious, however, is its thematic bankruptcy, for which I find it philosophically objectionable. To all those twits who read this review and criticize me for taking a mere teen romance too seriously, let me tell you something: 

You may perceive the mass media that you consume as trivial and insubstantial. However, encoded into every song you play, every TV show you watch, every video game you play, every book you read, every toy you play with and even every article of clothing you wear are the maker’s assumptions about what kind of person you are, what kind of person you want to be and what kind of person you should be. If you buy certain products, you buy certain assumptions.

If you want a quick example of these assumptions, take a look in a toy store. You will immediately see two sections, segregated by color. The blue section is for boys, while the pink section is for girls. The blue section contains cars, trucks, airplanes, tanks and war machines because the manufacturers assume that obviously boys will like mechanical things that go fast and crush other mechanical things. The blue section also contains action figures of muscular wrestlers, deformed monsters and superheroes because the manufacturers assume that boys like strong characters who are powerful.

By contrast, the pink section contains many stuffed animals, usually of baby animals, usually in pastel colors. The manufacturers assume that girls like to nurture soft cuddly things. The pink section also contains dolls of scantily clad, glitter-covered female figures with proportions that no actual person has. The manufacturers assume that girls like to play with clothes and make-up. See the contrasting assumptions about boys and girls in action with these photos of gendered T-shirts at a Disney theme park.

But boys don’t always like what’s in the blue section, just as girls don’t always like what’s in the pink section. The manufacturers’ assumptions that segregate girls and boys into blue and pink aren’t universally true. But the assumptions themselves are universal; you will see the pink vs. blue toy aisles everywhere around the world. Everywhere around the world, boys and girls look at the toy aisles and learn that boys must be strong, aggressive, muscular, warlike and interested in mechanical things. Meanwhile, girls must be soft, delicate, cuddly and interested in fashion.

These are not trivial or insubstantial assumptions. These assumptions contribute to inequality between men and women on many different levels. For example, because women are widely believed to be smaller, weaker and less aggressive than men, they aren’t allowed into direct combat in many nations’ armed services. Because men are widely believed to be more aggressive, ambitious and higher-achieving than women, women only earn about 75c for every dollar that men earn [at least in the U.S. workforce].

I could go on, but then I would be diverging from my point, which is this: If you think Breaking Dawn is a book that does not deserve serious analytical attention, you are wrong. Even pop cultural phenomena are worthy of criticism because, just like every other product of modern media, contain assumptions about who its consumers should be. A close examination of these assumptions is necessary, especially for girls and women, so that we can be intelligent and observant members of a society that frequently discriminates against us.

Part III is in the works. EDIT: Part III is here.

 

 

Breaking Dawn review, part I: Meyer broke her own rules.

Breaking Dawn review, part I: Meyer broke her own rules. published on 5 Comments on Breaking Dawn review, part I: Meyer broke her own rules.

So, just in case you couldn’t tell from my capsule reaction last night, I deem Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer the worst book in a horrible series. I have two major reasons for calling Breaking Dawn the turd of the series.

First, Meyer disregards the structure and rules of her fictional universe in the service of a “happy ending.” Second and much more disturbing to me, Meyer uses the device of Bella’s pregnancy to evacuate Bella of all personality and subjectivity, thus making the misogynist, anti-feminist project of the Twilight Saga clear.

So one of the reasons Breaking Dawn breaks down is that Bella and Edward’s baby-making explodes the rules of the fictional universe constructed in the first three books. In Twilight, Eclipse and New Moon, vampiric characters are not fertile because Meyer is very clear that they possess no bodily secretions. No sweat, no tears, no snot — do I need to go on? In case you need quotes to back me up, the authors of fan site the Twilight Lexicon have apparently corresponded personally with Meyer on this subject, and she explicitly says, “Most human fluids are absent…”

Yes, but she doesn’t explicitly say that Twilight vampires are sterile, you point out. Actually, she does when she says that a female vampire lacks “any kind of ovulation cycle.” Yes, but she never actually says that male Twilight vamps DON’T have functioning sperm, you say. It is true that Meyer does not ever state that Twilight vamps LACK functioning sperm. However, the statement that “most human fluids are absent” in Twilight vamps strongly suggests that they have no functioning reproductive systems. Furthermore, the specific information about the sterility of female Twilight vamps makes it clear that they LACK functioning eggs, from which it is very easy to conclude that male Twilight vamps lack functioning sperm. Therefore, the argument that Meyer left open the possibility of thriving male vampire sperm is an extremely weak and untenable one. [I can’t believe I’m writing this absurd line of argument.]

But don’t believe the author’s explanations in this matter of vampire fertility. Look at how the characters themselves behave: as if they are infertile. In fact, Edward, who doesn’t want to vamp Bella lest he deprive her of the opportunity of having babies, believes both male and female vamps are sterile. No one, not even his learned doctor “daddy” Carlisle, disagrees. That is, all the Cullen vamps believe that Twilight vamps are sterile because, as Meyer clearly shows throughout the series and in ancillary clarification, THEY ARE.

Meyer’s logical consistency and world-building go out the window, then, when Bella and Edward go against everything we’ve been taught about Twilight vamp fertility and HAVE A BABY. I wouldn’t mind them having a baby so much if Meyer could do some creative retconning that would successfully explain the Cullen kid in the context of the Twilight world. However, Meyer obviously prevented human/vampire babies from ever believably occurring in her fictional universe. Therefore, the only way that she could introduce one was through hand-waving, or an unexplained plot hole. It’s frustrating enough that Meyer destroys her fictional world’s consistency by tossing some vampire spawn into the mix. It’s beyond frustrating and, indeed, rather insulting, when she doesn’t even try to explain the existence of said spawn. Instead, she seems to think that readers will be so enraptured at the prospect of a precocious, darling, irresistible love child between Bella and Edward that they will not notice that the love child is an offense to the rules of successful fiction.

Part II is here. Part III is here.

I have purchased and scanned Breaking Dawn…

I have purchased and scanned Breaking Dawn… published on No Comments on I have purchased and scanned Breaking Dawn…

…and I would just like to say that it didn’t just jump the shark. Instead, it jumped an entire fleet of sharks, while shooting fireworks and kazoos out its ass. Then it pulverized the sharks, crashed into an oil tanker and set the resultant spill ablaze, choking the world’s entire population of seagulls to death with its smoke. Immediately afterward, it reached land, where it pulverized and shat out Gozilla AND Mecha-Godzilla. At last sight, it was lurching toward the New England Aquarium, intent on fusing together a tankful of innocent sand sharks into one unholy cartilaginous sea monster, with which it was somehow hoping to scale the exosphere, hop over the Oort Cloud and land in the vicinity of Antares.

The black hole of the Twilight series aaaiiieeeeee noooooooo

The black hole of the Twilight series aaaiiieeeeee noooooooo published on No Comments on The black hole of the Twilight series aaaiiieeeeee noooooooo

Last time I wrote about the Twilight series, I elaborated about two types of fictional universes. In the multiplicative type, the inventiveness moves outward from its source, creating more characters, more locales, more magical powers, more spells, more generations. Multiplicative universes are immersive by virtue of their breadth; the sheer variety of their many elements makes them seem like small parts of the actual, teeming world.

The other type of fictional universe is the reductive. The inventiveness here moves inward from its source or focus. There are few characters, few locales. In fact, there are usually only 2 or 3 characters and 2 settings at the most. Reductive universes are immersive by virtue of their depth. They go deeper and deeper into the psychological twists of the small cast until readers feel as if they really know the cast members.

Anyway, those media outlets that compare Twilight with Harry Potter miss key differences between the franchises.

1. Twilight is infinitely worse in quality compared to Harry Potter, although Harry Potter itself is merely good. It is not GREAT.

2. The Harry Potter series transcends age, class, sex and race in its appeal. The Twilight saga appeals 95% to white bourgeois females between the ages of 9-29.

3. The Harry Potter series has a multiplicative universe. The Twilight series has a reductive universe. It’s also a poorly done reductive universe in which the exclusive focus on Bella and Edward does not reward such scrutiny. Reductive universes work best when they have something interesting at their heart, say, a pair of characters that it’s worth staring at for 200 pages. Vera Nazarian’s Duke in His Castle provides a strong example. Tragically, Edward and Bella are not worth staring at for 200 pages, much less 2. All the reader sees when he/she stares at them for 2 or 20 or 200 or even 2000 pages is an endless cycle of mood swings.

To write in the overwrought style of my 11-year-old self, here is the experience of reading the Twilight Saga:

love!                         hatred!                                                                     turmoil!          bad hair days!
ambivalence!              pathetically repressed sexual tension!              pain!

the moods of the
TWILIGHT SAGA

go up
and
down

kind of like that “chewable” calcium pill i tried to swallow
2 days ago
but i didn’t chew it
so it went
d                                                        k                   UP!
o                                                   c
w                                           a
n                    and then b

until my gag reflex finally !!!!WON!!!!

and i projectile vomited pppp–ttt–oooooo–eeeeeee–yyyyyyyyyy across the bathroom

& hurked it on to the bath mat

& it was STILL INTACT.

.
.
.
.
.
i am never EVEREVER eating those calcium chews again.

 

Tales of Beadle the Bard: Well, you can read it if you cough up the dough.

Tales of Beadle the Bard: Well, you can read it if you cough up the dough. published on 1 Comment on Tales of Beadle the Bard: Well, you can read it if you cough up the dough.

As a follow-up to my earlier diatribe against the philosophical concept of J.K. Rowling’s Tales of Beadle the Bard, I would like to mention that it is being published for the unwashed hordes as of December, 2008. Hissssssss. I stand by my earlier arguments.

Three Hands for Scorpio by Andre Norton: three thumbs up!

Three Hands for Scorpio by Andre Norton: three thumbs up! published on 1 Comment on Three Hands for Scorpio by Andre Norton: three thumbs up!

A set of magically empowered and noble triplets are kidnapped and dumped in a hostile wilderness full of weird animals and unknown threats. They must use their wits and their magic to find their way back home. Things are complicated along the way by the appearance of a young man who may or may not be a missing prince. He helps out the triplets and embroils them in a plot against the crown, which makes their return home all the more urgent so they can warn the royal family.

Though Three Hands for Scorpio was apparently Norton’s last published work before she expired at 93 and therefore not up to par with the works of her golden age, I still found much to enjoy in it.

It’s a straightforward adventure story, and that’s one of its greatest strengths. Women and men are equal at ass-kicking — indeed, one sign of the plot against the throne is that priests gaining power want to repress women — but Norton does not get hung up on this point. Neither is there any romance between the triplets and the maybe-prince. Neither is there any bitchy infighting among the triplets, who share a form of mind-reading that’s rather endearing, or between the triplets and their parents. As a matter of fact, the triplets, their mom and their dad present a rare picture of a functional fictional family where all members love each other. But that’s not the main point of the story. Basically, it’s just a race to discover the mysteries of the wilderness and get home. Norton’s use of female protagonists in a story where many authors would default to male ones thus strikes me as a subtle and very welcome feminist decision.

Beyond its general awesomeness as a feminist statement, Three Hands also works exceptionally well as a suspenseful adventure mystery. Who kidnapped the triplets? What monsters will they meet in the wilderness? Is the maybe-prince friend or foe? Who’s gunning for the crown, and why? Norton drives the story with all these questions with a nimbly paced plot that bristles with gods, powers and borders, leaving you to work out the connections as you read. It’s not complicated, but it is tightly woven, so the archaic style [consistent and convincing, thank you very much] may impede you. However, just ride along on Norton’s inventiveness as she lets the triplets explore a world where spiders are the size of dogs and wildcats talk through ESP. Her endlessly creativity lets you experience the triplets’ wonder as they discover the wilderness.

Of course, Three Hands has its weaknesses. Its major flaw is that the triplets are undifferentiated. Even though they take turns narrating, they don’t sound like separate characters. They don’t really act differently from each other either; they’re all smart and quick-witted and resourceful and magically gifted. This flaw could have been righted simply by making the protagonists twins and developing them in the lazy manner that many authors use to differentiate pairs: giving them opposite major traits. I personally accepted the similarity of the triplets very easily because my sister and I did a series of stories about twins who talked in the first-person plural all the time. Others of you may not be so lenient.

In summary, Three Hands is a clever story that combines a simple, linear quest with a mystery. Refreshingly swift and condensed in plotting, it features easily likeable [but undifferentiated] heroines and blessed freedom from sexism and other stupid stereotypes.

If most fantasies are bloated, three-layer burgers, flaccid with toppings and useless surprises, Three Hands is a compact, tasty, satisfying slider.

The power of the glurge: Laura Miller checks in to the Twilight craze

The power of the glurge: Laura Miller checks in to the Twilight craze published on 2 Comments on The power of the glurge: Laura Miller checks in to the Twilight craze

With the final book of the Twilight Saga coming out on Saturday [woo hoo!!], Laura Miller takes a critical look at the immensely popular glurge. She correctly notes that Bella’s extreme lack of personality makes her a Mary-Sue-shaped costume which the typical fan, a young teenaged heterosexual girl, can climb into so that she can have virtual smoochies with Edward:

She is purposely made as featureless and ordinary as possible in order to render her a vacant, flexible skin into which the reader can insert herself and thereby vicariously enjoy Edward’s chilly charms…Edward, not Bella, is the key to the Twilight franchise, the thing that fans talk about when explaining their fascination with the books. 

Continue reading The power of the glurge: Laura Miller checks in to the Twilight craze

Rambling about Labyrinth

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 rambles intriguingly about Labyrinth in an entry from November, 2007, and why it’s so powerful…because of the final showdown. In the final showdown, where Jareth grovels and Sarah stares him down, we receive an example of a climax so rarely according female protagonists: the direct confrontation with the evil and the rejection thereof. Sarah sees through Jareth’s bullshit; she acknowledges her equality with, indeed, her supremacy OVER, him. She rebalances her life by asserting herself to be the stronger character. I agree with bellatrys’ comment that the movie should have ended there, without the puppet party afterward. [Found via The Hathor Legacy.]

All of this makes me think that, even though I no longer actively work on Jareth’s Realm, Labyrinth remains the dominant narrative template through which I live my life. It keeps infiltrating all of my own artistic endeavors.

1:6 annoyance: lack of historical clothing

1:6 annoyance: lack of historical clothing published on 1 Comment on 1:6 annoyance: lack of historical clothing

I’ve been having trouble with two of my historical dolls, Little Will and his mom Leonora. Both of them are from the 1870s, so they should be wearing historically accurate [or historically approximate] hair and clothes. To add to the fun, Leonora should be in some sort of wheeled chair. To make the fun even funner, both of them need to be more slender than my usual robust CG base because they are sickly, scrawny characters.

After a frustrating consideration of many possibilities, in the end, I’ve decided to modify articulated Barbies for both of them. I’ll just masectomize one and drastically reduce the legs for Little Will. *ominous sounds of hand saw and Dremel revving up*

I found a historically approximate outfit for Leonora. It’s from Victorian Lady Barbie. I am, however, having a hell of a time finding something for Little Will. A detailed investigation of Ebay and barbiecollector.com demonstrates that Barbies are not a reliable source of historically accurate dress, especially not for children’s fashions. I thought I’d use an “Alice in Wonderland” dress + pinafore combo, but Mattel doesn’t produce any; Azone is out, and I really don’t feel like importing one from Japan for $30.00. GRAR!

Wow, I actually like a Triad product!

Wow, I actually like a Triad product! published on 2 Comments on Wow, I actually like a Triad product!

Lola is the first Triad Toys doll that attracts me. It’s not the fetishy schoolgirl outfit, though I do like it. It’s not the thigh-high black pleather platform heels, though they are perfect for Will. It’s not the custom cartoony bomb and the match, though Baozha would love those. It’s not the backpack with the teddy bear, though I can always use more backpacks, and I know Will wants the teddy bear. It’s not the guns because, unless they are squirt guns, firearms are irrelevant to my LHF universe. It’s not even the Otaku body, which sacrifices form over function.

It’s her face, her weary, sarcastic, annoyed face. 

Get doll; keep head, hands, clothes, shoes, pack, bomb, match, teddy. Sell body, guns, holsters and other weapon-related crap. Body should go for $30.00. Guns should go for $10-15.00. Recoup ~1/2 of purchase price.

Give doll pink hair!!!

Doll notes

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Doll stuff to get

 

Materyllis’ body use cheap one and paint

Materyllis’ hair use black yarn

Materyllis’ clothes Legacy of Valor WAVES http://www.sensibility.com/vintageimages/1930s/ long slim skirt, blouse w puff sleeves and neck/yoke deco

Little Will’s body use Obitsu slim male, cut down

Little Will’s clothes Goth dress, bloomers of simple sleeves and rubber bands

College Anneka’s body share w regular Anneka

College Anneka’s clothes share w regular Anneka

Leonora’s hair sculpt

Leonora’s body

Leonora’s clothes Gibson blouse, long bell skirt

Leonora’s chair use Max’

Alexandra’s head and body WAVES

Alexandra’s clothes use from collection

Max’ head and body use Alexander the Great

Max’ clothes use from collection

Max’ chair use Mattel Becky

Minerva’s head George Taylor

Minerva’s body use spare

Minerva’s clothes use from collection

War Toys

DML Alexander the Great 17.95

DML George Taylor 7.95

Dragon Lord shirt 1.25

Dragon Lord shirt and pants 2.25

Good Stuff to Go

WAVES 19.00

Junky Spot

Obitsu slim male 20.99

 

 

Rocky Horror Picture Show remake?

Rocky Horror Picture Show remake? published on 2 Comments on Rocky Horror Picture Show remake?

Continuing in a long tradition of mediocre remakes of classic films [Psycho, Wicker Man, War of the Worlds, King Kong, et hoc genus omne], MTV and 20th Century Fox are apparently retreading The Rocky Horror Picture Show movie. Like most remakes, it will be weak, pointless, dull and did I mention POINTLESS? Useless, pathetic remakes always make me roll my eyes in disgust; my eyes are revolving especially hard in their sockets now because Fox and MTV are messing around with a movie that I like. Blech. WHY???

Dark Knight review: WHOOOOT!

Dark Knight review: WHOOOOT! published on 2 Comments on Dark Knight review: WHOOOOT!

In the latest Batman reboot, Batman has to deal with both the Joker and Two-Face, all while contemplating whether he’s any better than the ends-justify-the-means dudes that he fights. Movie portrays a consistently murky, satisfactorily melancholy vision of Gotham in which it’s always night and no one is quite sure they’re doing the right thing. New ass-kicking technology, including wings for Batman and a muscular Batmobile with LOITER and INTIMIDATE modes [and the ability to eject a Batbike], provides spectacular pyrotechnics to distract from the fact that most of the acting is serviceable but not exciting. 

Should be telling that the audience cheered and laughed only when the Joker was on the screen. While everyone else is repressed and dire, Ledger’s Joker capers in his own manic world, creepy, unpredictable and much more interesting than Bale’s Batman, who we know is dull enough to eventually do the right thing [supported, of course, by moralizing from Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon].

The movie’s strengths are its action scenes, special effects and the Joker. Weak points are the otherwise complete lack of humor, frequently ponderous script and lack of psychological realism, especially in the character of Gyllenhaal’s Dawes. Why does Rachel like Harvey Dent? There’s no chemistry and no interest. After all those resentful looks she passes Bruce Wayne, why does she insist that his penthouse is the safest location in Gotham? Who cares? This is not a movie about female characters. Screw the female characters. We have no need for them [even though the mayor, some Mob players, Lau and Gordon could be female characters without any problem at all]. This is a movie about MEN and MORALS. Also BIG FUCKING EXPLOSIONS. At these three things, it succeeds.

Three and a half out of five stars!

Dolls I Have/Don’t Have

Dolls I Have/Don’t Have published on 2 Comments on Dolls I Have/Don’t Have

Dolls I currently have

 

Anneka

Will

Davry

Mark

Chow

Baozha

Viktor

Sibley

Velvette

Janet

Andrew

Absinthe

Pippilotta

Rori

Gemini

Susie

Materyllis [SST Jinx, needs paint, body and clothes]

Little Will [Takara Ice, needs body and clothes]

College Anneka [Obitsu pink, needs body and clothes]

Leonora [BBI Beka, needs hair, body and clothes]

Dolls of current/upcoming characters that I would like to get

Ethan

Cory

Teodora

Alexandra BBI Officer Somers

Max

Mamie

Caveat BBI Tyr

Minerva

Awesome 1:6 AA male headsculpts!

Awesome 1:6 AA male headsculpts! published on 1 Comment on Awesome 1:6 AA male headsculpts!

Apparently Amok Time is doing LE 1:6 figs of Blacula. I have no interest in Blacula, but I think the prototype dolly looks stupendous, especially the 3 included heads. The ones with flesh on them evince a particularly fascinating combination of sleaziness and seductiveness.

Chasing the Dead by Joe Schrieber: silly yet awesome

Chasing the Dead by Joe Schrieber: silly yet awesome published on No Comments on Chasing the Dead by Joe Schrieber: silly yet awesome

A kidnapper steals Susan’s young daughter and delivers an ultimatum. Susan must follow a prescribed route through eastern Mass. in order to get her daughter back. But history lies uneasily in these small New England towns; in fact, as Susan makes each stop along the way, history rears out of its grave to shamble after her. As she races to protect her child, Susan discovers the truth, not only about the darkest moment of her own childhood, but also about a centuries-old, supernatural evil that’s been haunting the region.

Schrieber pushes Chasing the Dead along with quickly paced prose full of nervous beating hearts and splattering viscera. His simple story trades in archetypes — Mother on the Defensive vs. Sadistic Monster — without complexity of character. Not a problem, though, because Schrieber is too busy grossing you out and pulling you along to the next chapter. The perfect mindless suspense novel, strengthened by the fact that Schrieber portrays a convincing eastern Mass. setting.

My one complaint is the gratuitous use of “voodoo” as the ultimate source of the centuries-old, supernatural evil. Instead of Haitian voodoo, the evil character could have been transformed by anything labeled “sinister magic.”  Since the evil character started off as a white, English-speaking colonist, he could have made a deal with the Devil or some local New England witches, which would have made much more sense, considering his background and beliefs. Why toss in an unneeded exploitation of “voodoo?” Bullshit like this just reinforces the popular American misconception that Voudou/Voudun is some morally suspect practice involving zombie creation, rather than a legitimate religion.

[Filed under “vampires” for the use of unkillable, soul-sucking evil.]

Davry is done!

Davry is done! published on 1 Comment on Davry is done!

I initially created Davry purely as an experiment in rendering a person with achondroplastic dwarfism. Because I was successful with my digital model of him, I naturally progressed to the idea of a 1:6 version of him. After discovering the perfect head and amassing other parts and clothes, I now have a Davry doll!

1:6 Davry was going to be a DiD Timo head on a DiD Hermann body, but the DiD body was too scrawny, so it went to Chow instead. [Pictures of him later when I finish his hair.] So I turned to an Ertl Sportsman fig from Andrea for Davry’s body. Since the Ertl dude was 12″, I started by taking 2″ out of the legs, 1″ from the thighs and 1″ from the floor up. I glued the shortened legs back together with my bestest friend [viz., hot glue] and smoothed the thigh splices with Sculpey, which I boiled for 3 minutes to harden. Davry lost his feet, which I consider one of the most expendable parts of a fig, but none of his knee or thigh joints were compromised.

Next, I removed a total of 0.5″ from the arms, 0.25″ from the uppers, 0.25″ from the lowers. Again, Davry lost some of his reach, but none of his articulation was hindered, although his lowest elbow joints are a little sticky. He even retained use of his original hands!

At this point, I had a body with an average-sized torso and short, stubby limbs. I removed the original Ertl neck and sculpted a short stubby one in its place with Sculpey [boiled again]. I carved out the bottom of Davry’s head so that it could just slide over the neck stump. His neck lost tilting action, but, like feet, I consider this an acceptable sacrifice.

As for Davry’s head, I modified it by coloring over the original DiD paint job. I darkened his hair to a vibrant red with dark purple accents. I drew on lightning-shaped sideburns and a goatee in an attempt to make him seem older. I darkened his eyebrows and added bags under his eyes to age him as well. His head was sealed with matte varnish.

Davry now stands about 9.5″ high in high-heeled boots. He’s probably closer to 9.25″ high. Compared to my dolls who represent barely pubescent kids, he is much stockier. He looks young for his physical age, which I put in the upper 30s, but he can’t be mistaken for a kid. He looks rather like a teenager trying to be mature. Unfortunately, his lightning-shaped sideburns don’t help in this department. :p

After Absinthe, Davry is only my second 1:6 body mod. I’m very pleased with the way that he came out. His build looks like that of a person with achondroplastic dwarfism. More importantly, his character has the general personality that I imagine him to have: that of a playful man who doesn’t act his age.

http://www.oddpla.net/blog/lhfdolls/davry/IMG_0005.JPG

http://www.oddpla.net/blog/lhfdolls/davry/IMG_0007.JPG
http://www.oddpla.net/blog/lhfdolls/davry/IMG_0008.JPG

True Blood: Is this going to be good? Y/N.

True Blood: Is this going to be good? Y/N. published on 1 Comment on True Blood: Is this going to be good? Y/N.

I can’t tell whether this is a miniseries or an open-ended series, but HBO has True Blood starting in September.

Pros: Vampires, Anna Paquin, created by Alan Ball who did Six Feet Under.

Cons: Based on an incredibly boring paranormal romance, on cable which I don’t think I have.

Truthfully, I would be more interested in a second season of Moonlight because it’s so baaaaaaayud, but apparently someone put a fork in it because it’s been cancelled.

Investigate Lavena Jackson’s murder, you liars.

Investigate Lavena Jackson’s murder, you liars. published on No Comments on Investigate Lavena Jackson’s murder, you liars.

From Feministing: Armed forces refuses to investigate the suspicious circumstances of Lavena Jackson’s death. She was the first female soldier from Missouri to die in Iraq in 2005. Strong evidence suggests that she suffered assault and rape before being murdered, but the armed forces call it a “suicide.” Online petition to open an investigation here. I don’t understand how the armed services thinks it can successfully persuade people to join if it rejects people for being gay, harasses and murders people for being female and does not adequately support its veterans. 

My tag on the petition:

Investigate the misidentified “suicide” of this soldier and expose the physical assault and other suppressed circumstances surrounding her death. Challenge the regime that, through cover-ups, allows such sexual abuse of female soldiers.

1:6 stuff coming in

1:6 stuff coming in published on No Comments on 1:6 stuff coming in

I ordered last night from War Toys, and they’re shipping out the order today! Wow, that was quick.

I ordered a nude Hermann Miller for Davry’s body. It’s an 11″ DiD body that’s supposed to be a young boy. I’ll have to hack out the upper arms, upper legs and torso in order to make a convincing example of a person with achondroplastic dwarfism. As a bonus, the Hermann head that comes with the body is attractive, possibly usable in future for another character.

I also ordered a nude US Navy EOD by Soldier Story for Sibley. He looks prissy and disapproving [it’s the mouth], which is how I always imagine Sibley: better than you and cognizant of it. Poor Sibley…He irritates me so much as a character that I don’t want to have a doll of him, but I have scenes planned involving him, so I need him. He’d better stop acting like a dipstick soon, or else he’ll antagonize the entire cast. Wait…he already did.

I also ordered some atrocious clothes for Will, including a tropical print shirt, a white mesh tank top and an olive tank top. I think I ordered some normal jeans too.

My wife is helping me order Chow’s body and a jukebox for my 1:6 Nightcrawler. I should work on dolls tonight, sculpting Chow’s hair and taking some pictures of Absinthe, who is now done, and my 1:6 scenery in progress.

Amusing derogatory book review

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Paul Constant over at The Stranger writes a scathing review of Noelle Oxenhandler’s memoir The Wishing Year. While incisively sarcastic, Constant’s review succeeds because he backs up his poor opinion of the book with examples of its failings. My favorite sentence:

Oxenhandler is exceedingly relieved that the African-American syrup advertisement has absolved Nicholas of generations of slave-owning guilt, and she goes about the happy work of intervening in his life.

Maybe, if I hone my rapier-like wit enough, I can be that vicious in a book review and get away with it. Until then, I will enjoy others’ excoriations of trash.

Favorite dismissal of an atrocious book, attributed to Dorothy Parker:

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Writer’s Block: On Character Preferences

Writer’s Block: On Character Preferences published on 2 Comments on Writer’s Block: On Character Preferences

First of all, that should be “your favorite fictional character” with an “r” goddammit. My favorite fictional literary character is Willa Rahv from Early Disorder by Rebecca Josephs. Nominally about a 15-year-old’s struggle with anorexia, Early Disorder is actually more of a slice of life for a young girl as she tries to find her place in her overbearing, perfectionist family, a fast-paced, overwhelming school and a city that teems with life that she would like to be a part of. Witty, pretentious, oversensitive and insecure, Willa embodies many of the strengths and fallacies common to young teenagers. However, her sarcastic, keen-eyed first-person perspective evinces a deft sense of humor and a maturity that she eventually grows into. I find the theme of coming into one’s own eminently relatable, and I’ve always found Will a sympathetic protagonist over the decades during which I have cherished this book.

I’m also really keen on the eldest princess in A.S. Byatt’s short story “The Story of the Eldest Princess” [available in The Djinn in the Nightingale’s Eye] because she’s smart and assertive and reflective. She realizes she’s in a skewed fairy tale and forms her own happy ending, which does not involve happy hetero marriage.

In TV or movies, my favorite characters are Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth [details at Jareth’s Realm], Frank from The Rocky Horror Picture Show [details at The Frankenstein Place], Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer [details all over this blog] and Dean Winchester from Supernatural [details all over this blog].

In fiction that I have created, my favorite characters are Will and Anneka because they have pink hair and no fashion sense. I also really like Mark because he’s such a  dweeb, Chow  because  he’s  probably  the only wise character around and Viktor because his constant attempts to screw anything that moves are amusing.

In any medium, I dislike whiny characters who do not stand up for themselves. Three particularly egregious examples are Sarah from Labyrinth, Harry Potter from the seven books concerning him and Bella from the Twilight Saga. Make that EVERYONE in the Twilight Saga.

EDIT: BWAH HAHAHAH. I notice that Edward Cullen, abusive personality extraordinaire of the Twilight Saga, appears most frequently as a favorite character, clearly nominated by people without critical intelligence.

Hey HHS, get OUT of my uterus! >:

Hey HHS, get OUT of my uterus! >: published on 2 Comments on Hey HHS, get OUT of my uterus! >:

According to the NY TImes, “The Bush administration wants to require all recipients of aid under federal health programs to certify that they will not refuse to hire nurses and other providers who object to abortion and certain types of birth control.” This same proposal also wishes to define the use of common contraceptives as abortifacients because they terminate “human life” “before…implantation.” 

Thanks to tikva’s highlight of the especially galling sections of the report and to hammercock’s link to NARAL, I E-mailed my Congresspersons.

Subject: I oppose the proposed HHS ruling where contraception = abortifacients


Dear [Decision maker],

I’m writing to express my opposition to a proposed new Health and Human Services regulation that could discourage doctors and health-care clinics from providing contraception to women who need it.

Not only does the proposal interfere with women’s rights to do as they wish with their own reproductive systems, but it also makes no sense, as on p. 30, lines 8-11. In this section, “abortion” is referred to as “the termination of the life of a human being…whether before or after implantation.” This definition equates an unimplanted embyro with a fully developed human being, which it is NOT. The proposed HHS rule would thereby privilege the unimplanted embryo over the fully developed, autonomous woman that carries the embryo.

Such discrimination against women should not be tolerated. Oppose these regulations and support reproductive rights for women. Thank you for your attention.

Of course, this won’t do anything, but I feel a tiny bit better for spitting in the hurricane. And look…I did it without swearing.

Writer’s Block: Becoming a TV Character

Writer’s Block: Becoming a TV Character published on No Comments on Writer’s Block: Becoming a TV Character

Since Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth is not a TV character, I’m going to pass. If it helps, though, Rory Gilmore [The Gilmore Girls] + pre-magic-addiction Willow [BTVS] combined provide the best representation of my personality. Rory contains the overachieving, sarcastic, obedient intellectualism. Willow contains the progression from anxious, shy and doubtful to more open and confident, as well as the clueless sense of “style” and the flexible sexibility. [Yes, I made that up.] Wait…I don’t think that helps or answers the question. Who cares? I just thought it was interesting.

How my wife and I feel about each other’s favorite movies!

How my wife and I feel about each other’s favorite movies! published on 1 Comment on How my wife and I feel about each other’s favorite movies!

http://wondermark.com/d/423.html

I enjoy Wondermark. It’s like My New Filing Technique Is Unstoppable, only with more wit, concision and punctuation.  

This echoes the sentiment:

http://wondermark.com/d/415.html

P.S. THe most accurate rendition of a car alarm sounding that I have ever run across: http://wondermark.com/d/286.html 

American Girl dolls: what do they represent?

American Girl dolls: what do they represent? published on 4 Comments on American Girl dolls: what do they represent?

Prompting by the recent theatrical release of Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl, some Slate writers have an informal discussion about the series of dolls that spawned said movie.

Pleasant Company started off with three “American Girls” in 1986. Kirsten was from 1854, Samantha from 1904 and Mollie from 1944. The dolls came with scads of historically accurate and really expensive accessories, as well as mediocrely written stories in which they demonstrated how caring, assertive and morally sound they were. The Pleasant Company line soon exploded in popularity, resulting in its inevitable buyout by Mattel and the current proliferation of American Girls in all colors from all time periods. Unfortunately, they all have the same poorly articulated bodies and scary faces, with round eyes way too far up on their heads, flat noses and teeth ready to BITE YOU!

Having read AG books and catalogs in the past and having long sustained an interest in dolls, I read with avidity said Slate discussion about the messages of the AG empire. The participants seem to agree that the AG empire promotes conspicuous consumption by showing an upper bourgeois lifestyle in its books and pricing items so that only rich people can afford them. One commenter, Nina, has the following insight:

I like the idea of teaching kids that quality and craftsmanship matter and that investing in special items can be OK. But it doesn’t just stop at the dolls—there’s the outfits, and the furniture, and the tea parties. And that makes me a little uncomfortable. It feels too much like a patina of morality masks conspicuous consumption. It’s the kind of rationalization that makes it seem OK to spend thousands of dollars on, say, a mint-condition Eames chair. 

The phrase “patina of morality [masking] conspicuous consumption” is spot-on. AG empire books always end with morals that promote friendship, acceptance, kindness, bravery, loyalty — like some class-, race- and gender-blind version of the Girl Scouts. However, the books and dolls exist to reinforce each other, which is to say that the books ultimately do not wish to promote morality. The books actually subserve greater consumption of AG goods.

I noticed the problems of class and consumption in the AG empire when I was reading the Pleasant Company catalog back when I was 8 or 10. Of course, I wasn’t talking with sophistication about patinas of morality, but I did notice several things about the catalog that really pissed me off. For one thing, dolls and their accessories were sold separately. [They still are.] Since the dolls were frequently shown using their accessories, I had assumed that dolls and accessories came in one package. I regarded the separation thereof as a misleading disappointment and a way to get more money out of people.

Another example of implicit bourgeois assumption that I noticed early on appeared in the owner-sized outfits sold along with the dolls. One winter outfit inspired by the Kirsten doll included a pair of soft, moccasin-like boots. The copy described them as “perfect for apres-ski.” I was puzzled by this until I figured out that “apres-ski” meant “post-skiing,” and even then I was still puzzled. In my personal experience, I and all the other skiers I knew put on their regular, everyday boots after skiing. In my frame of reference, there was no need for specific apres-ski footwear. The advertising copy clued me in to the fact that some people somewhere did have specialized post-skiing boots, which meant that they probably had more money than I did, which meant that the advertising copy was not talking to me. I didn’t end up wishing for apres-ski boots in an aspirational sense; I just ended up annoyed. Now I can finally articulate why.

Bone Doll’s Twin, Hidden Warrior, Oracle’s Queen — all by Lynn Flewelling

Bone Doll’s Twin, Hidden Warrior, Oracle’s Queen — all by Lynn Flewelling published on 2 Comments on Bone Doll’s Twin, Hidden Warrior, Oracle’s Queen — all by Lynn Flewelling

The Bone Doll's Twin, Hidden Warrior and Oracle's Queen, all by Lynn Flewelling, have an unusual premise for your standard Training of the Fantasy Prince trilogy. Prince in question is actually a princess who, through the help of necromancy suffered shortly after birth, has appropriated the body and likeness of her dead twin brother.

Continue reading Bone Doll’s Twin, Hidden Warrior, Oracle’s Queen — all by Lynn Flewelling

Late to the game about the racist New Yorker cover

Late to the game about the racist New Yorker cover published on No Comments on Late to the game about the racist New Yorker cover

This is what I have to say about the racist, sexist New Yorker cover portraying Barack and Michelle Obama as militant Islamic [?] terrorists: 

1. It’s only satire if it’s obvious to intelligent, discerning viewers that it’s satire. Intelligent, discerning viewers at Feministing and Michelle Obama Watch [and other blogs rounded up by MOW] do not, at the very least, think it’s obvious. If it’s satire, then it’s bad satire. It hits the rim of the SATIRE basket and falls into the trash heap.

2. Privileged people hardly ever make innocent fun of people who do not have a certain privilege. Whatever its actual editorial make-up, the New Yorker represents dead white male power; so the cover represents dead white male power making fun of African-American people. Since dead white male power and all those who support it have a long, sordid history of making fun of African-American people, this cover joins that tradition of sexist, racist bigotry.

I E-mailed the New Yorker and the cartoonist [Barry Blitt] with the above message, which will do exactly shit.

EDIT: HAH! Blitt’s mailbox is full. Looks like he’s being roundly criticized [and probably praised from some quarters] by many others.

Twilight, the wish fulfillment

Twilight, the wish fulfillment published on No Comments on Twilight, the wish fulfillment

Several weeks before Breaking Dawn crawls out of the coffin [August 2, baayyyyybeeee!], New York Times columnist Gail Collins examines the appeal of the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. Jessica Valenti and Courtney Martin, both of Feministing, a blog I check frequently, provide input. Valenti and Martin observe that lusty and repressed Edward represents a chaste and non-threatening affection, sexually speaking. [We won’t address the fact that his emotionally manipulative and controlling acts make him a prime example of an abusive personality.] His cuddly sexlessness represents one extreme that today’s teen girls are pulled toward. 

Courtney Martin, the author of “Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters,” spends a lot of time on college campuses and says students seem to be torn between anonymous sex and monogamy — “either hooking up with no expectations or you’re basically married. You stay home and watch movies.” 

The implication is that a balance should be struck, that young women who are growing up and exploring their sexuality should not be bound to emotionally involving but sexless chastity or anonymous, promiscuous activity without emotional connection. Ideally, these young women should find sexual identities that incorporate both human drives to be understood and get laid. The Twilight series, with its extreme insistence on sexual repression, does no justice to the variety of human experience. And this is only one of the reasons it’s so bad.

Witchblade finally hits DVD!

Witchblade finally hits DVD! published on No Comments on Witchblade finally hits DVD!

Witchblade, the thoroughly mediocre and yet strangely compelling combo of cop drama and supernatural hooey that ran for two summers in 2001 and 2002, comes to DVD at the end of July. Hooray! I have a special place in my heart for that show, having watched it when it first came out, perhaps because it is simplistic enough to listen to and pretentious enough to be laughable. I’ve been surviving on crappy bootleg DVDs for years now, so I will be able to replace them with shiny good ones.

Wanted Action Figure does very accurate likenesses

Wanted Action Figure does very accurate likenesses published on 2 Comments on Wanted Action Figure does very accurate likenesses

For those of us who want, say, a Dean Winchester doll, Wanted Action Figure does detailed likeness sculpting in a variety of scales, including life-size, 1:6 and Mego scale. I paged through all the likenesses available for purchase, and I have to say that Wanted Action Figure captures the essentials of the celebrities they are sculpting. I really wish that they did more women, though.

Today’s word: “chyron”

Today’s word: “chyron” published on 3 Comments on Today’s word: “chyron”

 I found a new word today: chyron. Emily Yoffe uses it in a Slate blog post here:

Hanna, you quote Ellen Tien’s assertion, “Beneath the thumpingly ordinary nature of our marriage—Everymarriage—runs the silent chyron of divorce," and wonder if those of us whose running chyron is saying “I am so lucky I am married to this man” are deluded.

From the context, I thought it was something like a constant refrain, so I looked it up. It turns out that "chyron" is the technical term for combinations of graphics and text that appear at the bottom of a TV screen. Chyrons often include the name of the story being shown, its location, the name of the presenter or the name of the person currently speaking.

My Google search suggests that this word is well-known within the news and reporting industry, but little known outside it. We should all use it more, however, because, as the usage above shows, it has great metaphorical potential!

Making a kid-sized body for 1:6 Absinthe

Making a kid-sized body for 1:6 Absinthe published on 1 Comment on Making a kid-sized body for 1:6 Absinthe

As I am recreating the LHF cast in 1:6, I, of course, want to make their plastic avatars as accurate to their likenesses as possible in terms of build, relative height and general proportion. I don’t have a problem with anyone over 18, since I can use CGs/PBs for the women and DMLs/Obitsus/BBIs for the men. I do, however, have a problem finding good, highly articulated bodies for children. Obitsu bodies are very flexible, but slight and frail in build, which means that they usually look out of proportion with the fashion doll/action fig heads I’d like to use for my kid dolls. What do I do?

Take the example of Absinthe. She’s Will’s first significant other, the one who turned him into a vampire. Since she died somewhere between 11 and 13, she has a barely pubescent body. However, she has matured emotionally and mentally since dying in the 1820s, so she’s essentially a grown-up in a kid’s body. My 1:6 version of her needed to be at least as articulated as a CG [double-ganged elbows and knees being key], of average build [as opposed to the Obitsus], proportionately smaller than my 1:6 adults and capable of accepting an action fig head.

Started out with a Toybiz fem body, as found on the LOTR 12″ figs that came out a few years ago. Took off the feet to reduce some height, but legs were still way too long.

Took 0.75″ out of each upper thigh with a small craft saw.

Did a double masectomy with craft saw and Xacto knife. Smoothed edges with 150 grit sandpaper, but didn’t fill in holes, as they will be covered with clothing. Plus I am lazy.

Carved down upper thighs with Dremel, Xacto and 150 grit sandpaper. Again, no finishing as this will be hidden anyway. Lower legs reattached with hot glue, my bestest friend. Testing out Obitsu slim male hands in this photo, but they are too large. Head is a repainted Sea International fem.

Ended up using original Toybiz hands after narrowing fingers down with Xacto knife. Absinthe, now 8.5″ tall, is waiting for her hair.

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